Back Porch

...for Joe Mauer of the Minnesota Twins for simultaneously being the Magic Johnson and the Larry Bird of professional baseball. He puts up insane numbers (especially for a catcher, which is a talking point I'm sure you need more information about), he plays fair even when he doesn't have to, and he reminds us that the Average White Guy still has something to contribute to popular sports.

The Dugout is also thankful for those of you who are still figuring out that we moved to Back Porch. A big shout out to all of our returning fans, including David from the Hanger Orthopedic Group! What's up, Dave! This morning's Dugout is after the jump.

Michaele Salahi, a former Redskins cheerleader, and her husband Tareq, caused quite a stir on Tuesday night when they dodged security and crashed the White House state dinner. The couple hopes to be on a reality TV show called The Real Housewives of Washington -- Michaele Salahi is one of the finalists for the upcoming Bravo show -- and this kind of thing probably only helps their chances.

This story has been around a while but it merits a mention nonetheless. Not only is it a cautionary tale, it's a fitting, obligatory pre-Thanksgiving warning of the perils of mixing deer and football. Even if by accident.

Last month, seven-year-old Brandon Hiles of Wintersville, OH, was playing football in his backyard when, in his words,"The deer started charging at me and then it hit me in the back of the leg and then I flipped over."

Thanks to Brandon's quick-thinking friend the deer was only credited with a tackle.

"I saw that the deer was attacking him so I hurried up, grabbed a stick and started beating it hard as I could," Wyatt Pugh, 9, said.

Finally. Deion Sanders has weighed in on Goldy Gopher, the University of Minnesota mascot who, in his spar time, loves to mock praying players and stiff-arm kids to the ground. On Monday, I wrote that Goldy seemed a little to amped during a halftime show that included a bunch of mascots taking on a youth football team.

And now, thanks SBNation's Spencer Hall, I have Sanders' thoughts on the "Minnesota gopher ... who's dressed as a bear."

This is surprising: a guy has a few pops at a bachelor party golf outing, decides to "Happy Gilmore" his tee shot, and ends up hitting his playing partner. Never would have guessed.

The Legal Watch Blog writes that the Supreme Court of Nova Scotia is now involved. After 15 holes of golf that included "dozens of beers, a bottle of tequila, several marijuana joints smoked 'before the third hole, 'power slides' in the golf carts and clubs smashed against trees," things somehow got worse.

Valery Rozov is a Russian extreme sport athlete who has won X-Games medals and done more than 8,000 jumps off various high objects. But when he jumped off the tallest building in Pakistan, he underestimated the wind.

In today's Wall Street Journal Elizabeth Williamson writes about one of the great mysteries of our time: "Why has Barack Obama forsaken basketball for the links?"

During the campaign we were constantly reminded of the then-Illinois senator's basketball-playing prowess (there's even this play-by-play of a pick-up game from the official Obama-Biden YouTube channel). But now that he's in office Williamson points out that golf has become his sport of choice.

Vince Young continues to revive a career once thought dead. The third-overall pick in the 2006 draft had a fantastic rookie season, suffered through injuries and inconsistent play the next two years, and finally got a second chance after head coach Jeff Fisher begrudgingly benched 36-year-old Kerry Collins last month.

Nyrel Sevilla is six years old. And he plays football. And I don't mean he puts on his uniform and tiptoes around the field jumping on the pile after the play is over. He's a one-man tackling machine, wreaking havoc on other six-year-olds unlucky enough to have the ball when he shows up.

Video lunacy after the jump:

A recent FanHouse post on the tragic (albeit peaceful!) death of Uga VII inspired some emotional responses from the passionate readership. So I'm pretty excited to find out what folks think about the latest news regarding the Georgia Bulldogs mascot.

PETA, the ever-popular, never-annoying animal rights activists, want an animatronic bulldog to take the place of the real live bulldog. Yeah, I know. I wish I was kidding too.

Via the Atlanta Journal Constitution: