Bow To Your New Glow-in-the-Dark Speedminton Overlords

The future of sports is here, and thanks to Foul Balls, we have seen it: Speedminton, a variant of Badminton using a modified shuttlecock that instead of fluttering around the court speeds bullet-like from racquet to racquet. It should allow you to retain your dignity, unlike that embarrassing Nordic Walking fad we tried to start in the neighborhood a few years back. (Bike shorts, trekking poles, and skin-tight workout shirt in urban area=not good reception from local "characters." Note: characters=prosititutes and their management.)

If the promotional video is to be believed...



...the sport may be played on a number of surfaces, including but not limited to:

• Beaches
• Across rooftops ten stories up in urban areas (no diving!)
  
• On pieces of granite floating in a lake of fire
  
• On a glacier, presumably while you're waiting for rescue or the sweet release of frosty death to greet you.
• In the dark, but only while wearing a bikini and day-glo paint in tribal patterns.

You may order the specially constructed, space-age Speeder shuttlecocks from Speedminton's website, which boasts of the Speeders attaining "Speeds of up to 175 mph," ideal for those who've ever wanted to fire a shuttlecock directly through an opponents chest. But who cares what we think--Speedminton has an endorsement from the elegant and beautiful Maria Sharapova, which you do not and for which you are very, very sad.