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Back Porch

Handicapping the Hottest Female Athletes

Posted Jul 16, 2007 5:30AM By Larry Brown (RSS feed)

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The geniuses at AOL Sports came up with an idea to hold a hottest athlete in sports tournament. On one side of the draw are the hottest males, and on the other are the hottest females. That's where I come in. I'm going to look into my crystal ball and tell you some of the sleepers, predict the final four and then crown who I think will be the champion. So, without further ado ...

Sleeper Picks

(8) Allison Stokke - An eight-seed for this hottie is an utter joke. With her tan and muscle tone, she'll run through opponents like the 2005 Steelers in the playoffs. Stokke might not enjoy all the publicity she's received, but over a million YouTube views of a high school interview says she'll be tough to beat no matter what.

(10) Candace Parker - She's already tested well on the Would You Do ... scale, making me think she could have some legs in this tourney. Plain and simple, she's super girl-next-door cute, and her ballin' skills make her even hotter (I don't care who she's dating).

(13) Tanith Belbin - Just look to your right and think of all the possibilities. You simply cannot beat that type of flexibility.

(16) Cassie Johnson - She gives you a reason to tune into curling. Need I say more?


The Fab Four

(1) Maria Sharapova - I might not think she's all that, but that doesn't mean every other man on this planet feels the same way. Based on reputation, she should run through her competition. She's the less-hot version of fellow Russian Anna Kournikova, but there's one difference, she wins -- and that's sexy.

(3) Jennie Finch (pictured) - She's a tall, hot-bodied blond who already has enjoyed plenty of face time in the likes of SI's Swimsuit edition. I think married women should automatically be deducted points for their lack of availability, meaning tennis hottie Ana Ivanovic should give her a tough run in the second round. Jennie is battle-tested in tourneys like this one, though, and has probably gained even more fans as a fantasy baseball analyst.

(3) Erica Hosseini - I have to be honest; prior to this tournament, I had never heard of Hosseini. Naturally, that was my loss. This chick is amazing. Once you check out her pictures and spread, you'll have no doubt that she'll advance in the tourney.

(8) Allison Stokke - Sure, Ashley Force will be tough to beat (Force by the way, is the hottest female race car driver out there), but you just can't deny the power of the Stokke. Even if it takes all 2,383 of her MySpace group fans voting for her multiple times, this hottie will find a way to win.

Eventual Champion

Allison Stokke. I hope I won't get sued for predicting her as the champion. She might just be the most physically-fit of all the contestants, and by physically fit, I mean possessing one heck of a hiney. Stokke in a landslide.

Photos: Girls Bloggers Love

Tags: allison+stokke, AllisonStokke, ana+ivanovic, AnaIvanovic, anna+kournikova, AnnaKournikova, ashley+force, AshleyForce, candace+parker, CandaceParker, cassie+johnson, CassieJohnson, erica+hosseini, EricaHosseini, jennie+finch, JennieFinch, maria+sharapova, MariaSharapova, tanith+belbin, TanithBelbin

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