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Back Porch

ToughMan 2007: Non-Brits Need Not Apply

It's time for Britain's Tough Guy competition, a semiannual competition involving a six mile course loaded with massive haybales, ramps, cargo nets, mud bogs, electrified wires, underground tunnels, flooded trenches, and ghastly combinations thereof designed for the abuse addict in you.

The competition is the brainchild of Willy Mouse, who owns the property west of Birmingham where the competition takes place. Mouse has run the event in one form or another for over 20 years, and suggests that if you are American and thinking about showing up, don't.
"Don't bother to come," Mouse said. "You can't compare to the English."
Hasn't he seen American Gladiators? Nitro could have aced this thing blindfolded, all while getting nary a speck of mud on his glittery jumpsuit. Nationalist egotism aside, we totally want to do this. As in, like, this afternoon kind of doing this. Ted Nugent's backyard should be perfect. Anyone got his number laying around?

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