FanHouse's Top Five: Mike Patrick Is No Perez Hilton, but He Sure Is Trying

FanHouse's Top Five scans the sports blogosphere for the best posts of the last 24 hours so you don't have to. Got something for this feature? Hit us up at fanhouse@googlegroups.com.

1). There are few football analysts commentators worse than Mike Patrick. Formerly teamed with Joe Theismann on ESPN's Sunday Night Football -- before it became Football Night in America -- Patrick was one-half of the most knock-you-over-the-head team in professional football. "Now, look at this play right here. You see what I'm doing right here -- I'm showing you things that are so obvious no one could have missed them, yet I can't find anything else insightful to say, so I'm going with it! And then I hit the sweet spot right ... here! Look at that play! Wow!" Ugh.

So it's good to see that, since demotion to the college football ranks, Patrick isn't even trying anymore; he's just musing about whatever he feels in the most crucial moments of football games. This week? Britney Spears' life. Next week? Scones? 780p vs. 1080i? The influence of Eastern philosophy on web-based social networks? The possibilities are endless!

2). Speaking of brilliant college football video, Oklahoma State coach Mike Gundy's legendary defense of quarterback Bobby Reid -- in which he berates columnist Jenni Carlson to her face about "having children one day" -- is a must-see. And after reading Carlson's column, not exactly unwarranted. (Aside: At the end of the video, who, exactly, is clapping? Certainly not the media, I'd hope.)

3). Weirdly, instead of fixing the things that are bothersome about the next-gen versions of Madden 08 (players seem slow, juke moves are too effective, TOO MANY FUMBLES) EA Sports is rolling out yet another NFL game. Wha?

4). I recreationally hate Ohio State, but I have to admit: they are good this year, and not getting much buzz for it.

5). Dude, if you're going to rock an A-Rod jersey -- and I love the WBC idea, too -- please make sure it's spelled correctly.