Adam Gretz is a Steelers fan. Matt Snyder is a Bears fan. With Pittsburgh and Chicago facing each other on Sunday they decided to mock each other over e-mail.
Adam Gretz: I would feel bad for you having Brian Urlacher out of the lineup on Sunday, but the Steelers have their own set of injury problems with Troy Polamalu and, possibly, Lawrence Timmons. Plus, the Steelers have the handicap of playing without an offensive line every week. The biggest question I want to ask, however, is how horrifying was it to see Jay Cutler doing his best Rex Grossman impersonation in his Bears debut?
Matt Snyder: At halftime I was on the ground in a fetal position, sucking my thumb. It was the most terrifying movie I've ever seen. Way worse than the new Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Here's the thing, though: in the second half, Cutler was everything we thought we were getting. He hit Devin Hester for a beautiful touchdown down the sideline (it would have been the longest pass Kyle Orton completed through the air all of last season -- his only pass longer than 30 was a quick slant Hester made into a big play on his own). He engineered what could have been a game-winning drive. The last interception was clearly rookie Johnny Knox's fault for stopping his route (seriously, that would have been awful in a high school game; you're in the NFL, dude, don't stop running a route).
I also like what I've seen from him this week. He's been accountable and vowed to improve his play. He said his offensive teammates did lots of good things. He even lied and said the line played well -- they didn't open a hole for Matt Forte all night. He needs to make adjustments in regard to how he played the first half, and I believe he will.
And, honestly, I think the Bears are going to upset the Steelers and take the NFL Championship Belt from them. What do you say to that?
Gretz: Obviously, I think you're crazy. I mean, I'm not saying it can't happen, but even without Troy Polamalu roaming the field I'm sure Dick LeBeau was drooling when he saw a team in its first game as a 3-4 defense (Green Bay) getting inside Cutler's head that easily. I guess my biggest concern from watching Sunday night's game was Adewale Ogunleye feeding the Packers right tackle his lunch every play. Depending on who you ask, Willie Colon (The Steelers' right tackle) might be the weak link on the weakest unit on the team. I suppose you have history on your side as well; the Steelers have only won once in Soldier Field, a classic game in 1995 that had about 90 points and a wild fourth quarter comeback orchestrated by Neil O'Donnell.
I've been to Chicago twice, nice town, good pizza, so I don't have many bad things to say. The first time I was there we were sitting on the Red Line heading to Wrigley Field. I was minding my own business when a guy that was already three sheets to the wind, wearing what appeared to be a Hawaiian shirt, only instead of flowers and palm trees it had Wrigley Field and Ryne Sandberg all over it, stumbled into the seat next to me. He noticed I was wearing a Steelers shirt (this was the summer following their Super Bowl XL win) and drunkenly asked me, "So ... are you Schteeelers fan?"
Why, yes! Yes I am, good sir!
"That's cool. I never really minded them. Just so you're not a Packers fan. I hate those f***ing guys."
Then he got up and left.
I'm guessing my fellow Steelers fans won't be getting such a warm reception on the CTA this weekend? Because, you know, I'm sure there will be a lot.
Snyder: Yeah, they probably will be heckled mercilessly. I don't hate the Steelers at all, and I never have a problem with opposing fans who just mind their own business and cheer for their team. On the other hand, I'll admit to throwing a crumpled up empty beer cup at a Vikings fan many moons ago. They were standing up and turning around mocking Bears fans after every single positive play by Minnesota. The best part was, someone else showered them with a full beer and nachos (with cheese!) and got kicked out of the stadium. I felt kind of guilty, but, you know what? Don't act like a jackass in someone else's house. Plus, the guy who got kicked out didn't miss much. That was the Cade McNown era, after all.
Anyway, much like my inebriated cohort, I don't hate the Steelers, either. My bias is only pro-Bear in this case. And, yes, it's admitted bias that plays into my thinking the Bears win the game.
I think, after a week of reflection and coaching, Cutler will utilize Matt Forte and Greg Olsen more in the passing game instead of panicking and heaving one downfield to a wide receiver who isn't open. I do think the Bears can pass on the Steelers, too. I'll predict 300 yards and two touchdowns with just one pick.
As far as the other side of the ball, the Bears pressured Aaron Rodgers all night -- it wasn't just Ogunleye. The Packers line is better than the Steelers. And I don't think the Steelers can run on the Bears. Roethlisberger will have another good game. Actually, I think both teams will end up with similar stat-lines. Not much running attack, a lot of passing yards, but quarterback frequently under duress.
I'm saying 20-17 Bears.
By the way, next time you go to Chicago, go to Portillos. Easily the best food in town. Great atmosphere, relatively cheap and fast. Best Italian Beef sandwiches in the history of the world. Plus, when you order, it's almost like ordering from the Soup Nazi. The first time I took my wife there, she was so intimidated she had me order for her.
Gretz: Obviously with Troy out the Steelers pass defense is a tad bit more vulnerable than it otherwise would be, but you still have to deal with the relentless pass rush from the linebackers. Speaking of which, Mr. Zebra report, keep an eye on how many times James Harrison gets tackled this week and never gets the call!
We've been too nice during this thing, I think it's because the Steelers and Bears have always been so similar: storied franchises, tough teams, all about defense, etc. etc. etc. I think the fans can really relate to one another. I was grasping for straws as to what I could make fun of and the only things I came up with were: your stadium looks like a space ship and Chicago fans' bizarre love of the Super Bowl Shuffle. Of course, you'd have plenty of ammunition in return seeing as how our stadium is mustard yellow and our fans refer to our town as "Six-Burgh." Something I will never, ever do.
That said, do you have any game-day routines or superstitions that I can make fun of? Do you wear a Neal Anderson jersey and sport a Jim McMahon headband? Because I could see you doing that.
Snyder: For the love of God. You Steelers fans and your whining about James Harrison getting held. Every player in the league gets held without a call from time to time. It's taken on a life of its own at this point. Now you just focus on him and start screaming about how wronged he is in life when it happens. Enough is enough. Turn the page.
How's that for us being too nice?
I have Forte, Hester and Tommie Harris jerseys. If the team wins, I wear the same one the following week. If they lose, I just move to a different one. I normally hate superstition, so it's probably a pretty stupid thing to do.
What about you?
Gretz: YES! That's the intensity I was looking for. I knew I just had to push the right buttons.
I have pretty much the same routine I go through every week, especially for home games where I go through the same procedure like clockwork at the stadium. I've been wearing the Ben Roethlisberger jersey for the past two seasons, and once I wear it for the first time (the first preseason game) I can't wash it until after the season.
Needless to say, it builds quite a bit of character over the course of the season.
I'm disappointed you don't wear a Jim McMahon headband.
Anyway, I'm going to take the Steelers, of course, 64-0. Or 24-14. Whichever.
