Ben Roethlisberger to Host WWE Raw

If you, like me, think that Ben Roethlisberger is the perfect athlete to host WWE Raw, then it's time to back a whole truckload of justification up to the Wachovia Arena at Casey Plaza in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania and dump it on the classy Steelers fans who will be streaming in to watch fake wrestling next Monday.

Because, yup, Roethlisberger is indeed the guest host of Raw (via Camel Clutch).

And he's not coming alone. Roethlisberger, the youngest Super Bowl winning quarterback in NFL history, will be bringing protection in the form of his Steelers' offensive line teammates to Wilkes-Barre.

"Big Ben" joins the prestigious list of past Raw celebrity guest hosts, including Olympic gold medalist Shaquille O'Neal, Emmy-winning actor Jeremy Piven and television legend Bob Barker.

How, um, prestigious.

(Aside No. 1: Here's where I won't get into the whole thing about insulting Shaq or mentioning that Piven is more famous as Ari Gold than he is as himself, because that means I have to take a shot at Bob Barker, and if there's one thing I won't do, it's rip the Price Is Right. Unless that skinny fella Drew Carey is running it; then it's totally fine to make fun of it.

Aside: No. 2: If the WWE really wants to make waves with their "celebrity" wrestlers, they should just pay now-notorious coach-punchers Tom Cable and Mike Locksley big bucks to fight each other. I'd watch that.)

Anyway, you should know the drill by now: Roethlisberger will come strolling out with his offensive line after being introduced by some dude YELLING INTO THE MIC. At some point after that, four or five wrestlers will scream something about "Even the BROWNS are tougher than these losers!"

That will, of course, elicit boos and swear words from the what-passes-for-white-collar Pennsylvania crowd. Then Ben & Co. will get into a fake fight with the wrestlers, with him nearly being "finished" before some steroid-face decides to leap off the turnbuckle. Roethlisberger, predictably, will roll out of the way and then pin the gentleman on the mat as the crowd cheers wildly.

The following day, SportsCenter will air this clip 5,000 times. Should be fun.