Kickball Is the Sport of the Future

I have no idea who invented kickball. I'm guessing it was a teacher who thought that dodgeball was too violent, but couldn't convince anybody that soccer was actually fun to play. And now an activity once reserved for middle schoolers and band campers is a popular pastime with fully functioning adults.

The Los Angeles Daily News devoted an entire column to it, at one point proclaiming, "Leagues are forming across the country, and kickball is becoming just as cool, if not cooler, than playing on your company co-ed softball league." Which is like observing that Brady Quinn has a much better chance to make it into the Hall of Fame than JaMarcus Russell.

Technically, yes, but shouldn't we strive for more than that?

Of course not. This is America, where the liberals have played a huge role in the pansy-ification of our culture, and kickball is just one manifestation of that.

(Back on earth...)

The Founders Cup, the world's largest kickball tournament, is next month, and according to the World Adult Kickball Association, there are more than 300 leagues and 3,000 teams across the country.

And ZogSports.com, which touts itself as "a charity-focused, co-ed, social sports club that promotes charity and social action amongst young professionals in New York," happily organizes kickball get-togethers in the city.

Relive your elementary school glory days in in NYC's largest and most fun kickball league! It's 11-on-11, with at least 4 women. It's exactly as you remember it (rolling ball, no bouncies) and we keep it exciting for everyone on the team through our three divisions (Players, Casual and Extremely Casual). Unlike your elementary school experience, instead of milk & cookies after the game, we'll send you to one of our organized happy hours!

Clearly, the hippies have won.