NFL Coaches Fight Club: the Tournament. Because we have nothing better to do than predict what might happen if head coaches started punching each other in the face.
More Coverage: Fight Club Introduction, 1st Round Seeds
Here's all you need to know: Todd Haley, the Chiefs' first-year head coach, attended the University of Florida and the University of Miami and played on BOTH schools' golf team. And yet he's a four seed to Sean Payton's five seed.
Actually, this is a matchups that, at first glance, looks wholly uninteresting, but has the potential to be much more than that. (You know, assuming this wasn't a fictional exercise.) Haley's golfing prowess aside, is known for his short fuse. He worked for Bill Parcells in Dallas, and the first time I heard his name was after learning that he had berated then-Cowboys wide receiver Terrell Owens for being late to practice. This was back when berating T.O. was still a relatively novel concept.
And then, as the Cardinals' offensive coordinator, there were the periodic sideline blow-ups with Kurt Warner and Anquan Boldin. That's not necessarily indicative of Haley's ability to kick somebody's ass, but it does point to his tenacity. Of course, the philosophizing Mike Tyson once said that, "Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the face."
In Haley's case, that might not be an issue with his first-round opponent -- not unless Payton gets a step ladder.
That's an exaggeration. Plus, Payton is also from the Parcells coaching tree. But before joining the Tuna in Dallas in 2003, he served as the Giants quarterbacks coach and then offensive coordinator from 2000-2002. Things got so bad his last year in New York that then-head coach Jim Fassel stripped him of play-calling duties. This is the same Jim Fassel, by the way, that was fired as the Ravens' OC during their 2006 season bye week. By his best friend, Brian Billick.
(This has absolutely nothing to do with the Haley vs. Payton throwdown, but I just want to mention that Fassel did such a horrible job that even Brian Billick could tell. Brian Billick!)
Payton landed on his feet in Dallas, somehow made Quincy Carter, Vinny Testaverde and Drew Bledsoe into 3,000-yard passers, and eventually got the head coaching gig in New Orleans.
He also had the good sense to turn down the Raiders' job in 2005. That said, common sense and coaching ability won't help him here; Tom Cable is a No. 1 seed. Then again, slap-fighting requires an entirely different strategy than straight-up whaling on a guy.
