NFL Coaches Fight Club: the Tournament. Because we have nothing better to do than predict what might happen if head coaches started punching each other in the face.
More Coverage: Fight Club Introduction, 1st Round Seeds
I've seen Jack Del Rio in person. He looks like he could swallow a chainsaw while it's still running. On the sidelines, Dick Jauron looks like he already did swallow a running chainsaw. Jauron has built a nine-year career off of one great season in Chicago, the only winning season of his career. Del Rio has had four winning seasons out of six. On paper this looks like a mismatch. That's probably because it also looks like a mismatch off paper too.
Even their names are a mismatch. "Jack Del Rio" sounds like a name guys with names like "Dick Jauron" would use as a screen name to get work in action movies. This fight could be over in less time than it takes to open a can of bean dip.
Not so fast, my friend. The well-educated Jauron is a man full of surprises. He's one of the few Yalies to have a meaningful career in the NFL. Jauron, a safety for the Lions and Bengals, even went to the Pro Bowl in 1974.
When you read that last paragraph, you had one of two reactions. You either said "Dick Jauron went to the Pro Bowl?" or "Wait a minute, Dick Jauron played in the NFL?"
Looks can be deceiving. Jauron is mild-mannered, well spoken, and not the least bit physically imposing, but that doesn't mean that he couldn't find a way to throw you through a plate glass window. That big bulging Ivy League brain of his probably has most of Sun Tzu's The Art of War committed to memory, too.
He'd find some way to make Del Rio smash a table over his own head. Maybe he'd even pull a Hannibal Lecter and talk Del Rio into swallowing his own tongue. Then he'd stand there with some Zen-like smile on his face saying "To subdue the enemy without fighting is the acme of skill" or "The more you read and learn, the less your adversary will know." Or "Deflate the will of your enemy with your ancestor's left kneecap." Something like that.
That's assuming Del Rio wouldn't just come charging out of his corner and horsepunch Jauron back to 1987. Victory may not always go to the strong, but that's how the smart money bets.
