NFL Coaches Fight Club: the Tournament. Because we have nothing better to do than predict what might happen if head coaches started punching each other in the face.
While it's not exactly Luke Skywalker vs. Jabba the Hut, this is definitely a matchup of the slender versus the plump. Sean Payton definitely seems like a scrappy fellow, though Rex Ryan's intensity is off the charts. Would Payton have enough moxie to get inside on the pudgy Jets' boss, or would Ryan's gargantuan size be enough to crush the pocket-sized Payton?
Personally, I think Ryan would destroy him. He's fat, sure, but unlike Eric Mangini, he is actually a tough guy and I have no doubt he will bring the raucous. Plus, being a defensive end in college, Ryan probably hates quarterbacks. It's ingrained in their heads and you don't just shake that feeling -- especially when presented with the opportunity to pummel one.
Payton is a former quarterback. He was a replacement QB for the Bears during the strike of '87 and also took some snaps in the Arena Football League. This probably means he'd be able to scramble and get away from the rotund defensive end. In fake Fight Club, he has no choice but to square off against him in hand-to-hand combat.
The key to victory for Payton would be to stay low and out of Ryan's reach. The key for Ryan will be to get Payton locked up as quickly as possible, because there's a good chance he's running out of breath in a long fight.
