For what official press statements are calling "some reason," Major League Baseball has awarded their 2009 National League Cy Young award to Tim Lincecum of the San Francisco Giants. Lincecum is most famous for winning the award last year, and for recently being arrested for possession of marijuana. He is an enchanter and an amazing pitcher, but my blogger sense is telling me to jump to irrational conclusions and declare that he didn't deserve it. He only won 15 games, which is even less than Greinke. Whatever, Jeter won a gold glove again, we might as well give participation trophies to everyone.Tonight's Dugout is after the jump.
The Dugout
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: no im tellen you the system is fundamentally broken |
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: its decided by a bunch a sports writers an there aint nobody who exists that knows less about sports than sports writers |
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ChrismaCarpenter: I don't know I think I've got a pretty good shot at it, I had the lowest ERA and won 17 games! |
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WrightAsWain: I don't think so, my ERA was almost as low as yours and I won two more games! I'm the Cy Young this year, definitely |
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: up until Literally this exact moment i wasent aware that yall two was different guys |
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: but neither of you is gonna win cy young bud has a mental disorder why you think hes always crammen his fingers up his nose its to keep the frontle lobe of his brain from droppen out an getten brain gunk all over his paperwork for the las vegas radical thrashers or whatever |
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: the award will go to someone on the east or left coasts |
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WrightAsWain: who are you, E-40? "Left coast?" |
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: prepear for disappointments you neo marxist zoom dweebies, feel the mortis and wrath of the modern sports writers |
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: i mean whats next are we gonna give votes to bloggers, 2009 AL MVP the courage wolf |
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ChrismaCarpenter: are you even supposed to be in this chatroom? This is for National Leaguers |
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: i play for the royals with cheese, we mostly play american league teams but were bad enough to be considered national league |
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: im also allowed in little league chatrooms t-ball an any chatroom activity involven ghost runners |
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: one more step down an im chatten with nick adenhart |
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WrightAsWain: Too soon! |
| **Online Host** pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth has been booted from the NL Cy Young Chatroom! |
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ChrismaCarpenter: Farnsworth is full of sh**, right? There isn't a bias against the midwest. Is there? |
| **Online Host** bud_is_wiser has entered the chatroom. |
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WrightAsWain: jeez, finally |
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bud_is_wiser: sorry to keep you waiting, gentlemen, I happened to pass by my doppleganger wife and ended up engaged in a Groucho/Harpo exchange in our hallway |
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bud_is_wiser: anyway, what're we handing out today, Best Kiss? |
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ChrismaCarpenter: Cy Young |
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bud_is_wiser: we already gave out the Cy Young, we gave it to that Make-A-Wish looking guy from the Royals |
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WrightAsWain: yeah, but we need one for the National League! |
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bud_is_wiser: We still have a National League? Are you guys the ones that lob the ball underhand? |
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ChrismaCarpenter: No, I'm pretty sure you're still thinking of the American League. |
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bud_is_wiser: So I guess you guys had the best stats, right? Because this award is based totally on stats. |
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WrightAsWain: I had a 2.63 ERA and went 19-8 to lead the National League in wins. |
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ChrismaCarpenter: I had 17 wins but only 4 losses, and lead the National League with a 2.24 ERA. |
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WrightAsWain: Our combined efforts lead the Cardinals to an amazing run as immediate first round playoff dropouts! |
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bud_is_wiser: Eeeesh, you guys made the playoffs? You didn't mention that. |
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WrightAsWain: Is... is that a problem? |
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bud_is_wiser: Well yeah, as you know the votes are decided by sports writers, and the only argument more powerful to them than "stats" is "stats on a bad team" you might be out of luck |
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ChrismaCarpenter: But the stats, Bud! The stats! |
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bud_is_wiser: oh, wait a minute, actually we don't need to talk about it at all... apprently we already decided to just give the award to the same guy who won it last year |
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ChrismaCarpenter: WHAAATTT |
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WrightAsWain: But his stats were WAY worse than ours, that doesn't sound like something sports writers would do... |
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bud_is_wiser: you're right, the award was handed out via an online interactive vote, allowing bloggers to post their comments about each pitcher |
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bud_is_wiser: Tim Lincecum was called "so-so" by bloggers, as well as "mediocre at best" and "pretentious" These comments were way better than the ones everyone else got, so we gave him the award. |
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WrightAsWain: I demand a redo, I'm pretty sure I can convince readers to know my stats in less than 140 characters |
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ChrismaCarpenter: I can do it in even less, watch: "so good vote 4 me bbs" |
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bud_is_wiser: nice try, but you didn't switch the placement of the e and the t in "vote" for affable comedy, so now the voters think you're "pedantic" and that your comment is "utterly meaningless" |
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bud_is_wiser: also, correct me if I'm wrong, but you guys couldn't drive an hour to the west and hit an ocean, could you? |
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ChrismaCarpenter: No... |
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bud_is_wiser: What about if you drive east? Would you hit an ocean then? |
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WrightAsWain: No, I don't think so |
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bud_is_wiser: lol then you're lucky I talked to you cornfed losers for this long. The spindly pothead wins it, learn to deal. P.S. the 2009 NL MVP is barry bonds byeeeeee |
| **Online Host** bud_is_wiser has left the chatroom. |
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ChrismaCarpenter: Man. I can't believe they called me pedantic. You don't think I'm pedantic, do you? |
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WrightAsWain: I don't know, you're pretty pedantic. |
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ChrismaCarpenter: What does that even MEAN? |
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WrightAsWain: I have no idea |
Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Of course Lincecum gets picked up for pot, he's experimenting, like his doppleganger in Dazed and Confused.
"WrightAsWain: Our combined efforts lead the Cardinals to an amazing run as immediate first round playoff dropouts!"
As if we need MORE reminders . . .
This stuff was hilarious!