Back Porch FanHouse http://backporch.fanhouse.com Back Porch FanHouse http://www.blogsmithmedia.com/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/media/feedlogo.gif Back Porch FanHouse http://backporch.fanhouse.com en-us Copyright 2009 Weblogs, Inc. The contents of this feed are available for non-commercial use only. Blogsmith http://www.blogsmith.com/From New York Sculptor to Bait Lady Off Florida Coast http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/09/16/from-new-york-sculptor-to-bait-lady-off-florida-coast/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/09/16/from-new-york-sculptor-to-bait-lady-off-florida-coast/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/09/16/from-new-york-sculptor-to-bait-lady-off-florida-coast/#commentsFiled under: , , ,


HOMOSASSA, Fla. -- Fishermen come once for the novelty, a floating bait store in the bay, a lonely-looking, old pontoon boat with a hard-to-miss, five-foot-long, bright-white shrimp sculpture on the top.

They come back to see Bonnie.

Even when the fish aren't biting, fishermen still come to buy bait, stopping their boats like men dropping by the small-town barbershop when they don't need a haircut, coming just to hear the local chatter.

She makes everyone feel better.

Bonnie Van Allen, who turns 70 next month, has spent most of her daylight hours here the past 15 years, pulling her traps, catching her shrimp or anchored and rocking gently in her usual spot near channel marker 26, pointing the way to deeper waters into the Gulf of Mexico.

To the fishermen on Florida's west/central coast, she is their lighthouse, their landmark in the sea, offering her warmth and her wares, mostly to regulars who started as customers, turned into friends and now feel like family.

"I've been buying bait from Bonnie for nine years, and I don't think I've ever pulled up and not seen that big smile of hers,'' said Butch Miller, a local fisherman. "You talk to her for just a minute, and she makes you feel good about being out there. Everyone knows who she is.''

They come to buy bait initially, but they soon come bearing gifts -- books, cookies, hats, recipes, a puppy once -- paying homage to the first lady of this waterway, hoping that a wink and smile from her will ensure a safe passage and a productive day on the water.

Her pinfish and grunts cost $6 a dozen. The shrimp is half that price. The inspiration is free.

Bonnie works alone. Her skin is dark from the searing sun. The sunglasses rarely come off. The hair has turned gray. The hands are rough from the labor. If you're a lucky one, the hug is strong.

"The life she lives now seems almost fictional,'' said daughter Ivey Van Allen Steinberg, who lives across the country in Los Angeles. "When I tell people what my mother does for a living, their eyes really grow wide. When I come to visit, I always think it's like Mayberry on the water.''

Bonnie stands barefoot on the boat and laughs easily at herself, at the winding path her life has taken, a once-renowned sculptor who lost everything, yet managed to turn tragedy into triumph, living two different lives in one lifetime.

"A lot of people just know her as the Bait Lady,'' said Homosassa fishing guide Dennis Lowe. "They don't realize where she's been, and what she's been through.''

Van Allen was born and raised in Miami, went to college at the University of South Florida, eventually leaving with a doctorate in art history. She became an accomplished sculptor and teacher, lecturing on college campuses across the country. When her first husband died young, she moved to New York City to find her niche in the art district, where many of the country's most creative minds lived.

"I went to New York to see how good I really was,'' she said wistfully on the boat last week. "And I found out, I was pretty good. Back then, that's who I was, and who I thought I always would be.''

Her work, much of it abstract sculptures, was shown in various New York galleries. There still is one piece in the Bell Atlantic Building in Philadelphia, another in the Degroodt Public Library in Palm Bay, Fla. There are dozens and dozens in private collections.

After a decade in New York, she returned to Florida in the late '80s, established enough to work and sell her work anywhere. She remembered this area from her youth, where her father would bring the family on fishing trips. She and her live-in boyfriend bought a nearby, five-acre, low-lying island surrounded by a national wildlife refuge, thinking she would live and work there forever, a perfect hideaway for an aging artist.

But they never bought insurance.

And the devastating, No Name Storm of March 13, 1993 hit the Florida coast at 5 AM, forever changing her life. It swallowed the island, washed her home, her studio and her life as she knew it - out to sea.

She and her boyfriend barely escaped with their lives. Much of this little fishing town was destroyed. There still are remains of crab traps hanging from trees on the island as a reminder.

"I went to New York thinking I would become rich and famous. And I became semi-rich and semi-famous,'' she said. "And then I became broke and wiped out. It just broke my heart. It took me almost two years to face the fact: I had to find another way to make a living, to survive. I didn't want to leave the island, and I didn't want to teach again, so I had to find something else to do. Then I started thinking what I always heard my father say when he fished here: `I can't find any $$%%%^& bait without going all the way back up the river.'''

Even though she knew nothing about bait and very little about boating in the open waters, she and her boyfriend (now her husband) built her a heavy-duty pontoon boat, mostly with scrap materials. She learned as she went, asking questions and exploring different options.

There were days she couldn't catch bait, and other days she couldn't sell her bait. She nearly capsized twice in storms before she learned how to read the weather. The sun gave her skin cancer on the neck and cataracts on both eyes. She was soaked by rain, and hit by lightning, but she always came back the next day.

Less than a year ago, just before her cataract surgery, she tripped pulling up a bait trap, fell off the boat and couldn't pull herself up over the edge. It was December and the water was cold. She nearly froze before help arrived almost two hours later, a regular customer who sensed something was wrong when he didn't see the boat move.

It's never been an easy life, just a rewarding one. Her days starts with a 4:30 AM, wake-up call, an hour long boat ride as she navigates her way through dark, rocky channels and tight turns before she reaches the bay and marker 26. She's there by sunrise before the fishermen starting coming. By 1 PM, her selling is done, and she begins the physical labor, pulling bait traps she has spread along the coastal area. By 5, she is heading home, another hour through unmarked canals and swamps to get the pontoon ready for the next day.

She raised that puppy Gracie on the boat, and they kept each other company for years until Gracie became more important keeping her husband company at home after he suffered a stroke. Now it's just Bonnie and her reading material between customers.

She reads her Wall Street Journal, thanks to one loyal customer, a former executive at the paper, who bought her a subscription. Bonnie may specialize in bait, but she is business-savvy, too, engaging, personable and well-informed. She is a loner who is really never alone.

"I used to worry about her a lot,'' said Ivey, the daughter. "But what she does has gone from the desperation of trying to pay the bills and survive, to something that brings her great joy. Not many people are that lucky.''

As Bonnie navigates her way home after another long day, she looks up at the note she scribbled many years ago on the inside of the boat. It's faded, but still legible. "If you want to see God laugh, make a plan.''

She smiles at the thought. The giant shrimp on top of the boat, the trademark of her Island Bait Company that fisherman always see, was the last sculpture she ever made, or ever will.

"This is a good life that I lead now. I'll probably live into my 90s, because this is a healthy way to live,'' she said. "If I ever quit doing this, you know what would happen to me. I miss my old life sometimes, but it would be too painful to go back. That's another life. I'm the Bait Lady now.''

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From New York Sculptor to Bait Lady Off Florida Coast originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Wed, 16 Sep 2009 13:45:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

 

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]]>Bonnie Van AllenTim PovtakWed, 16 Sep 2009 13:45:00 EST Logic-Defying Losing Streakshttp://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/09/08/and-you-thought-your-team-stinks/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/09/08/and-you-thought-your-team-stinks/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/09/08/and-you-thought-your-team-stinks/#commentsFiled under: ,


On Monday, with a 4-2 loss to the Chicago Cubs, the Pittsburgh Pirates cemented themselves as the greatest losers in the history of North American sports with their record 17th consecutive losing season. If you're wondering how a team can go nearly two decades without a winning record, John Perrotto of Pirates Report has a nice rundown of who is responsible for such futility. Congratulations, gentlemen, for being absolutely terrible.

Needless to say, when a team aimlessly stumbles through 17 straight years of losing, other teams across the league are going to benefit from the incompetence. Last weekend, for example, the Pirates were swept in Milwaukee, where they have now lost 21 consecutive games dating back to the 2007 season. One-sided domination of this nature is a cause for celebration in my mind, so let's take a quick look back at some of our favorite losing streaks.

North Carolina vs. Clemson (College Basketball)
Perhaps the ultimate losing streak against a single team, the Clemson men's basketball team has not won a game in Chapel Hill against the Tar Heels in 84 years, a run that includes a 54-game losing streak for the Tigers. That's almost difficult to comprehend, but let's go ahead and give it a shot. What was happening in the world in 1926 when the streak began? Well, for starters, if you were interested in purchasing land on Broadway or Wall Street it was selling for a then-record price of $7 per square inch, and the following people were born: Hugh Hefner, Beatles Producer George Martin, former NFL commissioner Pete Rozelle, NFL player Norm Van Brocklin, comedian Jerry Lewis, musician Miles Davis, actress Marilyn Monroe, actor Andy Griffith, director Mel Brooks, singer Tony Bennett, Cuban dictator Fidel Castro, musician Chuck Berry, and, one more, just for kicks, Penn State football coach Joe Paterno. Impressive.

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Losing Streaks for the Ages
Notre Dame vs. Navy
(College Football)
Chris Gardner, AP
Chris Gardner, AP

Losing Streaks for the Ages

    Notre Dame vs. Navy
    (College Football)

    Chris Gardner, AP

    North Carolina vs. Clemson
    (College Basketball)

    Steve Helber, AP

    Nebraska vs. Missouri
    (College Football)

    Eric Francis, AP

    Steelers vs. Browns
    (NFL)

    George Gojkovich, Getty Images


Notre Dame vs. Navy (College Football)
The 2007 season was one of the worst campaigns in the history of Notre Dame football -- the team won a grand total of three games (against UCLA and noted football superpowers Stanford and Duke). Among the many losses that season were back-to-back defeats at the hands of service academies Navy and Air Force (both at home). The Navy loss stands out the most because it ended Notre Dame's 44-game win streak against the Midshipmen, a streak that started in 1963. Navy's quarterback that year was Roger Staubach, NFL Hall of Fame class of 1985. Before Navy's thrilling triple-overtime win in '07, Notre Dame's winning streak against Navy was the longest active streak in college football.

Tennessee vs. Kentucky (College Football)
Since Navy's infamous streak against the Domers ended two years ago (bringing to an end four-and-a-half decades of misery) the longest active winning streak against another team in the college football ranks belongs to the Tennessee Volunteers who have ball-stomped SEC rival Kentucky 24 consecutive times. The Wildcats last win over the Vols on the gridiron? November 24, 1984. The No. 1 song in the country that week that was likely blasting at celebratory post-game frat parties on the Kentucky campus?



Rock on, Kentucky.

Nebraska vs. Missouri (College Football)
On October 5, 2008, the Missouri Tigers marched into Lincoln, Nebraska and pounded the Cornhuskers with an emphatic 52-17 win. Noteworthy because it was the first time the Tigers had won a football game in Lincoln in 30 years. It was one of the worst home losses in the history of the Nebraska program.

Steelers vs. Browns (NFL)
Before they moved to Three Rivers Stadium in 1970, the Pittsburgh Steelers were perennial losers in the NFL, and games against the Cleveland Browns were no exception. All that changed with the opening of Three Rivers, which coincided with the start of a dynasty that ultimately saw the franchise win four Super Bowls in six years. It also led to what was known as the "Three Rivers Curse" in Cleveland, as the Browns lost 16 consecutive games in the big concrete cereal bowl. They finally ended the streak on October 5, 1986, with a 27-24 win. Doing the scoring for the Browns in that game? Webster Slaughter, Gerald McNeil and a game-winning four-yard plunge from Earnest Byner in the fourth quarter. The Browns would go onto win the next three games they played in Three Rivers Stadium. They would only win there five times before the Steelers relocated to Heinz Field in 2001.

Flyers vs. Penguins (NHL)
Another Pittsburgh sports team was on the opposite end of such a streak (roughly around the same time). The Penguins and Philadelphia Flyers entered the league during the NHL's mass expansion in 1967 as the league doubled in size going from six team to 12 teams. They have been cross-state rivals ever since, though to be a true "rivalry" the games actually have to be competitive. Between January 20, 1974 and February 3, 1989, the Penguins went 43 consecutive games without a win in the Spectrum. (They did have three ties, so technically it's not a true "losing streak," but 43 games without a win is 43 games without a win.)

Spurs vs. Celtics (NBA)
With the No. 3 overall pick in the 1997 NBA draft, the Boston Celtics selected Chauncey Billups, two spots after the San Antonio Spurs selected Wake Forest forward Tim Duncan. The Celtics, like every other team in the NBA that year, coveted Duncan, so it had to be a little salt in the wound when not only did they not have the opportunity to draft him, but Duncan and the Spurs would go on to beat the Celtics the first 17 times they met (the streak actually started the year before Duncan was drafted). It began on March 14, 1997, when San Antonio knocked off Boston 103-92, and lasted a decade, ending nearly 10 years to the day (March 17, 2007) with a 91-85 Celtics win. San Antonio's average margin of victory: 14 points.

******

This is where we turn the discussion over to you, the readers. Any memorable losing streaks against an arch-rival that stand out to you? Has your team dominated a rival in a ridiculous one-sided manner? Tell us about it.

Logic-Defying Losing Streaks originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Tue, 08 Sep 2009 12:00:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

 

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]]>Adam GretzTue, 08 Sep 2009 12:00:00 EST Week in Review: Unveiling the Rest of 'The List'http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/06/21/week-in-review-unveiling-the-rest-of-the-list/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/06/21/week-in-review-unveiling-the-rest-of-the-list/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/06/21/week-in-review-unveiling-the-rest-of-the-list/#commentsFiled under: ,

Sammy SosaSo it turns out Sammy Sosa was a steroid freak.

Who'da thunk it?

When it comes to surprises, last week's revelation was like finding out Iran's elections were juiced for the incumbent. If you want shocking news, however, you've come to the right place.

We are ready to reveal all the players who failed baseball's 2003 drug test. The results were supposed to be kept confidential, but Alex Rodriguez's name was leaked to Sports Illustrated and Sosa was outed last week in the New York Times.

There are 102 names to go. This drip-drip-drip could go on for years, but we're not going to let it.

We here at Week in Review are tired of other media outlets getting the scoop. So in a desperate attempt to be invited on "Outside the Lines" and get a book deal, here are the people who failed the drug test:

Roger Clemens, Miguel Tejada, Mark McGwire, Bud Selig, Rafael Palmeiro, Andy Pettitte, Gary Sheffield, Al Gore, Jason Giambi, Troy Glaus, Robert Downey Jr., Manny Ramirez, Nebraska's offensive line, Eric Gagne, Smarty Jones, Gary Matthews Jr., Arnold Schwarzenegger and whomever the CBS executive was who thought it would be a good idea to hire Katie Couric.

We realize that's only 18 names. Our sources say the remaining 84 entries are all listed as "Barry Bonds". Apparently, he injected so many steroids FBI experts thought they were dealing with multi-octuplets all bearing the same name.

We fully expect the players union, agents and the Pentagon to deny the accuracy of our report. They might even file libel lawsuits, in which case we plan to fall back on the famed Sosa Defense of raising our right hand and saying, "No Comprende."

Never mind that -- like Sosa, I have lived in the United States since coming to this country as a poor 105-pound shortstop from the Dominican Republic. Two decades and 2,391 injections of Winstrol later, we both were still unable to speak English well enough to testify before Congress without a translator.

So bring it on, lawyers. We guarantee the names in our report are as accurate as this week's recap.

Last Sunday

The Lakers win the NBA championship, causing hundreds of fans to riot outside the Staples Center in protest of the Iranian election ... In related news, thousands of Iranians take the streets of Tehran to protest Mahmoud Ahmadinejad naming himself MVP of the Finals ... Mark Martin takes the LifeLock 400, becoming the first driver to win a NASCAR event while his turn signal unknowingly flashed the entire race ... Detroit captain Nicklas Lidstrom rips Pittsburgh captain LeBron James for not shaking his hand following Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals.

Monday

Just three games into the WNBA season, Detroit Shock coach Bill Laimbeer quits after receiving his 25-year high school reunion invitation and realizing he'd have to tell people what he does for a living ... In the debut of Joe Buck Live, Brett Favre says if his arm surgery is successful he will play for Southern Miss this season ... LeBron James visits the White House and is named to GM's new board of directors by President Obama.

Tuesday

Cleveland receiver Donte Stallworth pleads guilty to DUI manslaughter and is sentenced to running extra wind sprints by a judge wearing a Brady Quinn jersey under his robe. A PETA spokesman says the sentence was justified since Stallworth did not kill a dog ... After Sammy Sosa is outed for failing the drug test, Roger Clemens claims the entire list has been made up by Brian McNamee ... Hedo Turkoglu's agent says he will opt out of his contract unless the Magic find a jump shot for Dwight Howard ... Previously sealed memos indicate the NCAA plans to strip Bobby Bowden of 14 wins unless he admits using ineligible players when he kidnapped the Lindbergh baby.

Wednesday

Donte Stallworth proclaims he is ready for training camp after he runs a 4.2 40-yard dash while wearing his new ankle bracelet ... The White House Bowling League is thrown into disarray when Hillary Clinton falls and breaks her right elbow. She blames the incident on the vast right-wing conspiracy ... After the Dade County school board names a new high school after Alonzo Mourning, the Detroit school board names a juvenile detention center after Allen Iverson ... Lakers owner Jerry Buss is spotted at a casino playing poker during the team's victory parade. He goes for an inside straight and loses $500,000 to Tim Donaghy.

Thursday

Under pressure from People for the Ethical Treatment of Human Beings, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell suspends Donte Stallworth indefinitely ... Maurice Clarett's attorney asks for early parole saying the former Ohio State star needs to resume his career before he is too old to knock over 7-Elevens ... With his gambling activities exposed, David Stern gives Jerry Buss the choice of a two-year suspension or becoming a minor-league outfielder in the White Sox organization ... Shaquille O'Neal boasts that Alonzo Mourning never won an NBA title without him and demands that Florida Governor Charlie Criss name a city after him.

Friday

Bernie Kosar files for bankruptcy, prompting the Obama Administration to immediately take over the entire University of Miami athletic department and name Barney Frank head football coach ... Tomoji Tanabe, 113, dies at his home in Japan, officially making Mark Martin the world's oldest driver ... Rafael Nadal withdraws from Wimbledon after the All-England Club passes a rule prohibiting male players from wearing women's Capri shorts ... Caddy Steve Williams tries to beat up God after a raindrop falls on Tiger Woods during a backswing at the U.S. Open.

Saturday

Supreme Court nominee Sondra Sotomayor resigns from an all-women's club in hopes of being offered a membership at Augusta National ... The U.S. Open is delayed when drunken NBC executives start throwing up on the greens at the thought of Ricky Barnes or Lucas Glover winning ... Oprah takes her entire staff on an all-expenses-paid Mediterranean cruise. Inspired, Bill Bidwill takes the entire Cardinals organization out for lunch at a Phoenix homeless shelter.

Next week's guaranteed news or your money back:

Manny Ramirez's debut with Triple-A Albuquerque is delayed after he takes a wrong turn and ends up in Peoria ... In a much-anticipated announcement, Jon & Kate Plus Eight's celeb mother admits she took female fertility drugs in hopes of hitting like Alex Rodriguez ... After six spectators drown and Tiger Woods falls 12 shots behind, the USGA cancels the final round of the U.S. Open.

Week in Review: Unveiling the Rest of 'The List' originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Sun, 21 Jun 2009 13:00:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

 

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]]>alex rodriguezandy pettittebarry bondsbill laimbeerbobby bowdenbrett favrebud seligdavid sterndonte stallworthdwight howarderic gagnegary sheffieldhedo turkoglujason giambilebron jamesmanny ramirezmark martinmark mcgwiremiguel tejadanicklas lidstromrafael nadalrafael palmeiroroger clemensroger goodellshaquille onealtiger woodstroy glausDavid WhitleySun, 21 Jun 2009 13:00:00 EST Week In Review: Celebrating the City of Champions Once Againhttp://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/06/14/week-in-review-celebrating-the-city-of-champions-once-again/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/06/14/week-in-review-celebrating-the-city-of-champions-once-again/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/06/14/week-in-review-celebrating-the-city-of-champions-once-again/#commentsFiled under: ,

The truth can't be avoided any longer. It would be like denying Tim Floyd is a crook, Adam Lambert is gay or Brett Favre is going to be a Viking.

It was the Week of Pittsburgh and will inevitably be the Year of the Steel City .

First the Steelers, now the Penguins and Ben "Hogan" Roethlisberger. Soon the Lakers, eventually the Pirates.

All have or will win world championships, making Pittsburgh the only city in history to hold titles in the five major sports all in the same year.

Can you name a better sports town?

I realize the preceding statement might be perplexing, so allow me to explain. Hockey will remain a major sport until MMA fighters can start beating themselves silly while wearing skates.

The Lakers aren't technically in Pittsburgh , but the city shouldn't be punished just because the NBA won't go there. So we're allowing it to adopt any team it wants. Considering the NBA is down to two, Pittsburgh will take the Lakers over the Magic.

Roethlisberger just won the Golf Digest U.S. Open Challenge, shooting an 81 at Bethpage Black to beat Michael Jordan and Justin Timberlake. Let's see pretty boy Tom Brady do that.

As for the Pirates, remember nobody gave the Penguins a chance after they started 0-39.

It would have been a perfectly Pittsburghian week if one of the city's rec league soccer teams had paid $130 million for the rights to Rolando, or Ronaldo, or whatever that guy's name is. Or if David Letterman had said Pittsburgh looks like "a slutty flight attendant."

Unfortunately Sarah Palin got all that free publicity, along with a heartfelt apology from Letterman.

"I didn't kill nobody. I didn't rape nobody. So that's it. I'm just going to come play the game."

Oops, my bad. That was actually Manny Ramirez's heartfelt apology for taking performance enhancers.

All these developments made the week as confusing as an Iranian election, which was won by Pittsburgh native Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

Way to go, Steel City !

Now let's review your fabulous week.

Last Sunday

Roger Federer wins the French Open, staking claim to being the greatest tennis player ever not born in Pittsburgh. ... After all conventional treatments failed, ESPN reports that Brett Favre visited renowned orthopedist Dr. James Andrews to have his stubble surgically removed. ... Chad Ochocinco says he and Carson Palmer are so chummy they're like "Brokeback Mountain ." You never heard Lynn Swann say that about Terry Bradshaw. ... Some Broadway production nobody who reads FanHouse has ever heard of wins the Tony Award for Best Play. ...Tom Brady and supermodel wife Gisele Bundchen flip a kayak in the Charles River. New England media reports Brady picked up Giselle and walked on water to safety.

Monday

David Letterman jokes that while Sarah Palin was at a Yankees game, Alex Rodriguez "knocked up" Manny Ramirez. ... North Korea sentences two U.S. journalists to 12 years hard labor for failing to pick Kim Jong-Il in their Fantasy Dictator League draft. ... Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor breaks her ankle. Republicans go into a panic fearing the injury may keep her on the bench as long as it did Grant Hill. ... After Jerry Jones reiterates that the Cowboys have no plans of re-signing him, Pacman Jones verbally commits to the Tennessee Volunteers.

Tuesday

ESPN reports Brett Favre's family has reserved 30 rooms at Green Bay hotel for the weekend Minnesota plays at Lambeau Field. Favre's agent denies any football connection, saying the family simply loves the breakfast buffet at the Midway Motor Lodge. ... Washington selects Stephen Strasburg with first pick in the baseball draft. Agent Scott Boras says negotiations should go smoothly as long as the Nationals include the Lincoln Memorial in their opening offer. ... USC basketball coach Tim Floyd resigns in disgrace after records show he paid more for O.J. Mayo than Pete Carroll did for Reggie Bush.

Wednesday

Real Madrid pays Manchester United a $130 million transfer fee for Ronaldo and says the figure would have been much larger if the player had two names. ... In hopes of replicating the success of Sports Illustrated's swimsuit edition, ESPN The Magazine will print a nude issue in November featuring a foldout of John Clayton on a bearskin rug. ... Caving in to agent Scott Boras' claims that neither of his clients ever took female fertility drugs and their man-boobs are natural, David Letterman apologizes to A-Rod and Manny Ramirez. ...

Thursday

The NCAA puts Alabama on probation for a textbook-selling scheme by athletes. The university immediately files an appeal stating that no football player has owned a textbook since 1967. ... Sonny and Cher 's daughter, Chastity Bono, announces she is changing sexes to whatever Dennis Rodman is these days. ... USC pays Florida a $150 million transfer fee for Tim Tebow. ... In hopes of popularizing her tour, LPGA Commissioner Carolyn Bivens suggests that players should Twitter during their rounds. Inspired, Magic coach Stan Van Gundy suggests that his players start Twittering instead of defending Derek Fisher.

Friday

American Idol runner-up Adam Lambert comes out of the closet and says he is a Cincinnati Bengals receiver....A day after falling to 0-8 against the Red Sox, the panicked Yankees announce they have traded their entire minor system to Real Madrid for Ronaldo. ... Congress passes a sweeping anti-smoking bill that President Obama claims will save the lives of 2.3 million NASCAR fans per year.

Saturday

Iranian presidential candidate Mir Hossein Mousavi calls for a recount after it's revealed Manny Ramirez finished ahead of him in the fan voting. ... After losing to Ben Roethlisberger in the Golf Digest challenge, Michael Jordan fires longtime caddy Scottie Pippen. ... Alabama announces that when Nick Saban retires as football coach, he will be replaced by Tim Floyd.

This week's guaranteed results:

Tiger Woods will not Twitter during the U.S. Open.

The Pittsburgh Lakers will win the NBA title.

By a 5-4 vote, the Supreme Court will rule the Iranian election has been won by George W. Bush.

Week In Review: Celebrating the City of Champions Once Again originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Sun, 14 Jun 2009 12:24:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

 

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]]>Jerry JonesJerryJonesManny RamirezMannyRamirezRoger FedererRogerFedererScott BorasScottBorasStephen StrasburgStephenStrasburgTim FloydTimFloydDavid WhitleySun, 14 Jun 2009 12:24:00 EST Week In Review: Who's Worthy of King James' Congratulations?http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/06/07/week-in-review-whos-worthy-of-king-james-congratulations/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/06/07/week-in-review-whos-worthy-of-king-james-congratulations/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/06/07/week-in-review-whos-worthy-of-king-james-congratulations/#commentsFiled under: , ,

LeBron JamesWe would like to congratulate LeBron James on winning Sports Personality of the Week. We'd like to, but LeBron doesn't believe in congratulations.

His stalk-off after Orlando eliminated Cleveland was the week's hottest story. Critics pounced, accusing James of being a poor sport, bad role model and all-around jerk.

It turned out LeBron had a good reason for acting like Sean Penn. I'd tell you but I'd rather you have to plow through a few more paragraphs to find out. That way you'll also read about arguably the most amazing performance ever recorded by a college athlete.Does the name Robert Dozier mean anything to you? It should, since the former Memphis hoopster reportedly scored a 1,260 on his SAT test.

That raised a few eyebrows around his high school since Dozier had never actually been spotted attending a class. Forced to take the test again, this time without John Calipari acting as the official observer, Dozier scored a 720.

That set a world record for Biggest SAT Drop by a Human Who Had Not Been Declared Brain Dead. After an intense investigation, Memphis offered Dozier a job as school president.

Robert DozierThis prompted an NCAA hearing that culminated Saturday with Calipari calling in from China to swear he never even met Dozier, and that all photos of him coaching Dozier were doctored by the CIA.

You may be skeptical, but we at Week in Review believe in giving people the benefit of the doubt. That's why we'd also like to congratulate Dozier on his performance. It was so astounding even LeBron might come over and shake your hand.

And now, on with the rest of the story....

Last Sunday

A day after Orlando eliminated him from the playoffs, LeBron James says he didn't shake hands because Rafer Alston has cooties ... 97-year-old Millvina Dean dies in Southampton, England, leaving Joe Paterno and Bobby Bowden as the only remaining survivors of the Titanic ... Florida State beats Ohio State 37-6 in a baseball regional game, but FSU is forced to give up 21 runs due to academic fraud ... Concerned fans call the Knoxville Police Dept. after Tennessee coach Lane Kiffin goes a week without breaking an NCAA rule or insulting another SEC school.

Monday

ABC says Jeff Van Gundy will be allowed to announce the NBA Finals. But in the interest of fairness it will hire Phil Jackson's brother to shave Michael Wilbon's head ... As the government takes over GM, President Obama announces all Chevrolets competing in NASCAR races must get 39 mpg and be driven by Latina women ... In a YouTube party video, a shirtless Vince Young says if he's not traded he will guzzle another bottle of cognac.

Tuesday

Chad Ochocinco tells the NFL Network his performance last year was "an embarrassment" and vows to change his name to Chad I. Stinko if it doesn't improve this season ... After President Obama predicts "Lakers in Six," Rush Limbaugh says he wants Los Angeles to fail ... As LeBron James waits in line behind him to buy lottery tickets, a homeless man buys the winning ticket worth $23 million. James storms out of the 7-Eleven without congratulating him ... Danica Patrick says she would take performance enhancing drugs if she could get away with it. She immediately becomes the favorite to succeed Don Fehr as head of the baseball players union.

Wednesday

Memphis says an internal investigation uncovered no violations and that Robert Dozier has been awarded a Rhodes Scholarship ... Ace Orlando defender Mickael Pietrus announces he will not wear his Kobe Bryant model shoes during the Finals ... Serena Williams loses her quarterfinal match, leaving four girls named Kutzenvokova in the French Open semis ... With no hits since spring training, David Ortiz says he will get his eyes checked. The ophthalmologist tells him to go see Barry Bonds' trainer ... Atlanta releases 305-game winner Tom Glavine but offers him a job as the mascot for the Class A Myrtle Beach Pelicans.

Jameer Nelson and Stan Van GundyThursday

Despite the fact he hasn't played in four months, Stan Van Gundy starts Jameer Nelson at center against the Lakers ... In a speech in Cairo, Egypt, President Obama assures the Muslim world that Brett Favre will not come out of retirement ... Forbes names Angelina Jolie the World's Most Powerful Celebrity. To celebrate, she and Brad Pitt adopt Jennifer Anniston ... On the 20th anniversary of the student uprising, John Calipari goes to Tiananmen Square, stands in front of a Chinese tank and dares the driver to prove he took the SAT test for Robert Dozier.

Friday

Fresh off his 40-point performance in Game 1, Kobe Bryant announces the Mickael Pietrus will not be wearing a jockstrap during the Finals ... After a judge temporarily stops the destruction of old Tiger Stadium, Michigan fans petition the court to stop the employment of Rich Rodriguez ... Memphis announces that Robert Dozier has won the Nobel Prize for Physics ... Forbes names Chris Berman the World's Least Powerful Celebrity.

Saturday

After getting outrun in the Belmont Stakes, Mine That Bird refuses to shake Summer Bird's hoof ... The WNBA reportedly opens it season, though a search of news reports reveals it was only a rumor ... To commemorate the 65th anniversary of D-Day, France forfeits a World Cup qualifying match to Germany.

Next Week's Guaranteed Predictions or Your Money Back:

-- Stan Van Gundy will start Dennis Scott at shooting guard in Game 3.

-- Hometown favorite Robert Dozier will win the St. Jude Classic when he turns in a score of 37 for the final 18 holes.

-- After discussing his options with LeBron James, President Obama will decide not to call the Lakers to congratulate them on winning the NBA championship.

Week In Review: Who's Worthy of King James' Congratulations? originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Sun, 07 Jun 2009 16:49:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

 

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]]>summer birdDavid WhitleySun, 07 Jun 2009 16:49:00 EST Week in Review: Conspiracy Theorieshttp://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/05/31/week-in-review-conspiracy-theories/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/05/31/week-in-review-conspiracy-theories/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/05/31/week-in-review-conspiracy-theories/#commentsFiled under: , , , , ,


It was a bad week if you believe that UFOs exist, the mob killed JFK and the NBA banished Michael Jordan to Area 51 to cure his gambling addiction.

LeBron James did not make the NBA Finals. If that doesn't shoot down the whole notion of conspiracy theories, nothing will.

The paranoids out there were sure David Stern had secretly instructed officials to make it a LeBron vs. Kobe title fight. Just as they are still convinced Dick Cheney rigged the1985 NBA Lottery to make sure the Knicks got Patrick Ewing.

No wait, Cheney set up 9-11 to make sure George W. Bush would get re-elected and marry Lady Di. I'm sorry, but all these theories run together sometimes.

There was never a shred of evidence the NBA had choreographed the Cavaliers to beat Orlando. Well, other than the fact James was averaging approximately 0.4 fouls and 37 free throws a game in the series.

But the lack of evidence is evidence to the conspiracy kooks. Now they'll probably theorize that Stern ordered the Cavs to lose, since that will sour James on Cleveland and spur him to sign with New York or Chicago after next season.

Until that happens, please either shut up or produce photos of Stern standing on the grassy knoll. And don't believe everything you read. Except for the following, of course.

Last Sunday

Alarmed by Orlando's focus through the first two games of the Eastern Conference finals, Stern hacks into Match.com and tries to set Dwight Howard up with Dirk Nowitzki's ex-girlfriend.

Fresh off his court victory over the IRS, Helio Castroneves wins the Indianapolis 500 and asks to be paid in small unmarked bills.

Convinced that the umpires are out get him, Milton Bradley changes his name to LeBron Bradley.

SAT TestsMonday

In observance of Memorial Day, NASCAR briefly stops the Coca Cola 600 at 3 p.m. to honor the memory of Dale Earnhardt Jr.'s career.

After North Korea tests an underground nuclear device, the United Nations threatens to kick Kim Jong-il's country out of the U.N. summer softball league.

7-foot-2 Korean Hong Man Choi pummels the daylights out of Jose Canseco in an MMA exhibition, prompting Canseco to sign a three-fight deal with Mary-Kate Olsen.

In the season premiere of "Jon & Kate Plus Eight," Kate moves out after Jon admits he took the SAT test for Derrick Rose.

Tuesday

Manny Ramirez is fourth among National League outfielders in All-Star voting, trailing only Mark McGwire, Tony Mandarich and Ben Johnson.

Saying her Latina heritage will provide unique judicial wisdom, Barack Obama nominates Paula Abdul to the Supreme Court.

Waiving the traditional five-year wait, the Baseball Writers of America vote Hong Man Choi into the Hall of Fame.

LeBron Bradley goes 5-for-5 after the home plate umpire starts tipping pitches for him.

Wednesday

The UEFA Champions League mega-showdown between Manchester United and Barcelona is watched by 18.1 billion worldwide and three Americans stuck in a bar at Frankfurt Airport.

The NBA rescinds a technical foul called on Dwight Howard in Game 4 and every foul called on LeBron James from 2004-2009.

Carlos Zambrano goes nuts after the home plate umpire tells him the post-game buffet has been canceled.

In an attempt to undermine her nomination, Rush Limbaugh claims that Paula Abdul once dated Al Campanis.

A 66-year-old British woman gives birth to a five-pound baby boy. Waiving the traditional five-year wait, she is immediately voted into the NBA Groupie Hall of Fame.

Thursday

Memphis is accused of major violations after a review of Derrick Rose's transcript reveals he was home schooled by Allen Iverson.

Unable to spot Stern in the audience holding up letters, LeBron James is eliminated from the Scripps National Spelling Bee when he can't spell "NBA Championship."

University of Florida President Bernie Machen says Urban Meyer should be the highest-paid performer in the SEC not counting Tim Tebow.

Microsoft unveils its new search engine called Bing. The prototype explodes when a reporter asks Bing to locate one sports story in the past five years that ESPN did not take credit for breaking.

Friday

Phil SpectorMichael Vick's father says his son is "a better man" after being in prison. In response, the father of one of Vick's former pit bulls says his son is "a better dog" after escaping from Vick.

Phil Spector is sentenced to life in prison for wearing his hair like Phyllis Diller.

Responding to the Rose fiasco in Memphis, John Calipari says he would never recruit a player who might not meet eligibility requirements. He then announces Kentucky has signed Hong Man Choi.

Rachel Alexandra says she has a headache and is not in the mood to run the Belmont.

Saturday

After finishing second in Britain's Got Talent, Internet sensation Susan Boyle announces she has signed to play guard with the Dallas Cowboys.

Texas beats Boston College 3-2 in 25 innings at the Austin baseball regional. With so little scoring per inning, the NCAA moves the Longhorns to the winner's bracket of the Women's College World Series.

Serena Williams accuses Maria Jose Martinez Sanchez of cheating at the French Open. Martinez Sanchez quickly signs a basketball scholarship with Memphis.

After scoring 40 points in Orlando's series-clinching win, Dwight Howard finds a horse's head in his locker.

This Week's Can't-Miss Predictions:

-- Saying it will eliminate the deficit in two years, the government takes 70 percent ownership in the new "Beat Up Jose Canseco Fantasy Camps."

-- Jay Leno says he is having second thoughts about retiring and might return as Green Bay's quarterback.

-- Hoping nobody will be paying close attention, ABC's announcers are told to pronounce Orlando "Cleveland" and Dwight Howard "LeBron James" during the NBA Finals.

Week in Review: Conspiracy Theories originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Sun, 31 May 2009 17:30:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

 

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]]>david sternDavidSternlebron jamesLebronJamesmaria jose martinez sanchezMariaJoseMartinezSanchezDavid WhitleySun, 31 May 2009 17:30:00 EST Week in Review: You Go, Girlhttp://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/05/17/week-in-review-you-go-girl/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/05/17/week-in-review-you-go-girl/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/05/17/week-in-review-you-go-girl/#commentsFiled under: , ,


On behalf of David Feherty, I'd like to apologize for the following column. It again takes shots at House Mis-Speaker Nancy Pelosi, not to mention her fellow victims of CIA subterfuge, Roger Clemens, Tim Floyd and Mine That Bird.

Who knew the CIA was plotting to overthrow the Preakness? You will after reading the latest installment of Week in Review.

Last Sunday -- Former Vice President Dick Cheney goes on "Face the Nation" and warns that the Obama Administration's policies are making it easier for Brett Favre to "never just retire and leave us the hell alone."

Critics call for Feherty's head after he says U.S. troops would rather shoot Pelosi than Osama bin Laden. Pelosi says the CIA assured her that U.S. does not have any troops.

Jockey Calvin Borel says he is leaving Kentucky Derby winner Mine That Bird for another woman.

Monday -- As a new book detailing his steroid use goes on sale, Roger Clemens reiterates that he never, ever used banned substances. And if he did it was only because the CIA hid Human Growth Hormone in his rosin bag.

After Dallas beats Denver in Game 4, a TV cameraman calls Mark Cuban a thug and shoves the Mavs owner out of the way. The NBA rewards the cameraman $25,000

In the next-to-last episode of "24," Jack Bauer tries to save the world from a Nuggets-Magic championship final.

Tuesday -- Pelosi refuses to accept Feherty's apology until he admits he lied to her about CBS' plans to waterboard anyone suspected of beating Tiger Woods.

Pope Benedict goes to the Western Wall and sticks in a note praying that college football will junk the BCS for a playoff.

After Dwight Howard gets zero shots in a Game 5 loss to Boston, Orlando coach Stan Van Gundy climbs to the top of Space Mountain and threatens to jump unless people stop calling him the Master of Panic.

Wednesday -- Yahoo! Sports reports that USC coach Tim Floyd gave $1,000 to one of O.J. Mayo's flunkies. Floyd said he can prove his innocence and produces a receipt showing the money actually went to Reggie Bush.

Washington's Ryan Zimmerman's hitting streak ends at 30 games. Pelosi blames George W. Bush.

After reviewing semi-nude photos of Miss California, Donald Trump says Carrie Prejean can keep her crown because "she's really hot."

Thursday -- The Obama Administration announces the closing of 400 failing Chrysler dealers and 18 Major League Soccer franchises.

Favre visits famed orthopedic surgeon Dr. James Andrews, who threatens to suture his mouth shut if Favre doesn't announce his retirement soon.

Astronauts repair the Hubble Space Telescope, which then locates Manny Ramirez hiding in his condo on Pluto.

Friday -- Hundreds of Notre Dame students say they will boycott graduation ceremonies unless commencement speaker President Barack Obama says he will no longer support Charlie Weis.

CIA Director Leon Panetta says the agency was only being truthful when it told Pelosi she needed a facelift.

Assistant coach Pat Ewing guarantees Orlando will beat Boston in Game 7. Van Gundy immediately starts taking hostages and threatening to shoot them if Ewing can't teach Howard how to shoot a turnaround jumper in the next 36 hours.

Saturday -- With Borel doing the whipping, Rachel Alexandra becomes the first filly to win the Preakness in 85 years. Mine That Bird's owners vow revenge and sign Tony Stewart to ride the horse in the Belmont.

Pittsburgh linebacker James Harrison says he will not attend the White House reception next week because he'll be too tempted to steal the silverware.

Us Weekly reports that "Jon & Kate Plus 8" mom Kate Gosselin told her husband that at least three of their sextuplets belong to Travis Henry.

Can't-miss predictions for the upcoming week:

-- Favre again announces his irrevocable retirement, unless he decides he feels good enough to run in the Belmont.

-- The Obama Administration makes Feherty apologize to bin Laden for calling him a "terrorist."

-- Pelosi will swear under oath that Brian McNamee never injected her with Botox.

Week in Review: You Go, Girl originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Sun, 17 May 2009 16:45:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

 

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]]>Brett FavreBrettFavreDavid FehertyDavidFehertyDwight HowardDwightHowardOJ MayoOjMayoReggie BushReggieBushRoger ClemensRogerClemensRyan ZimmermanRyanZimmermanStan Van GundyStanVanGundyTiger WoodsTigerWoodsTim FloydTimFloydDavid WhitleySun, 17 May 2009 16:45:00 EST Did Nancy Pelosi Know About Manny's Drug Use?http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/05/10/did-nancy-pelosi-know-about-mannys-drug-use/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/05/10/did-nancy-pelosi-know-about-mannys-drug-use/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/05/10/did-nancy-pelosi-know-about-mannys-drug-use/#commentsFiled under: , , ,

Manny Ramirez, David Feherty, Nancy Pelosi
What a crazy week. I'd say it was a news week on steroids, but that would just prompt the week to blame everything on its doctor who prescribed the drugs.

From Manny Ramirez's departure to A-Rod's return, the news spun like a roulette wheel. That made it just like most weeks in this 24-7 news era, which is why we here at FanHouse decided a Week in Review column was needed.

On Sundays, you have time to relax and reflect. That's why TV has pseudo-intellectual shows like "Meet The Press," "This Week With George What's-His-Name" and "The Sports Reporters."

This column will remain apolitical unless Air Force One buzzes New York City just to get a photo of the plane flying over Mike Lupica's ego. Then we'd blame it on George W. Bush and move ahead. So without further ado, let's do just that.

Last Sunday -- Tiger Woods finishes fourth at the Quail Hollow Championship, making it two straight tournaments without a win. Congress calls an emergency session to consider spending $20 billion to rebuild Tiger's swing.

Atlanta eliminates Miami to win the right to get swept by Cleveland in Round 2. Vice President Joe Biden urges Hawks fans to remain calm unless they have ridden on an airplane or subway in the previous week, in which case they should immediately run naked down the street screaming "I have the Swine Flu!"

Monday -- "A-Rod," the book alleging Alex Rodriguez started taking steroids in the second grade, goes on sale. Not to be upstaged, the mother of pitcher Joba Chamberlain is arrested on suspicion of selling methamphetamine to an undercover policeman.

In an exclusive interview, Jacqueline Standley tells Katie Couric she has never taken meth. The Yankees then send her to their Tampa minor league facility for rehab.

After studying the latest playoff TV ratings, the U.S. Department of Justice announces it will start utilizing the NHL for its Federal Witness Protection Program.

Brett FavreTuesday -- Brett Favre is spotted at a Hattiesburg, Miss., feed store wearing a Vikings jersey. All over America fans quickly stage candlelight vigils praying Favre will just go away.

Boston beats New York 7-3 to complete a two-game sweep at the new Yankee Stadium. The reeling Yankees announce Standley is being called up and will start against Tampa Bay on Wednesday night.

Wednesday -- After more than 500 years of protecting popes, the Swiss Guard announces it may consider opening its ranks to women. Augusta National issues a statement saying it will not be pressured into admitting a female member.

The NCAA releases its Academic Progress Report, which tracks retention and graduation rates at member institutions. The worst five schools are South Florida, Mississippi, Minnesota, Washington State and Arizona.

In unrelated news, the first preseason football poll is released. The top five teams are South Florida, Mississippi, Minnesota, Washington State and Arizona.

Oprah Winfrey unveils a coupon giveaway for KFC, prompting millions of Americans to stop watching for Brett Favre updates in order to go stand in line for a free grilled chicken dinner.

In Game 2 of the Western Conference semis, Kobe Bryant grabs Jack Nicholson's courtside seat and hits Shane Battier over the head with it. The officials immediately eject Ron Artest.

Thursday -- Baseball suspends Ramirez for 50 games. Various reports say Ramirez tested positive for HCG, a women's fertility drug often used to mask steroid use.

Eddie "The Squealer" Clemenza scores the winning goal as Chicago beat Vancouver in the Stanley Cup Federal Witness playoffs.

National Intelligence officials release memos indicating House Speaker Nancy Pelosi lied when she said knew nothing about the CIA's "harsh interrogation techniques" on enemy combatants. The report also indicated Bud Selig knew baseball players were mainlining female fertility drugs for the past 15 years but did nothing because no player gave birth to triplets.

Friday -- Favre sends X-rays of his ailing right shoulder to the Vikings for evaluation. Team doctors tell coach Brad Childress it appears Favre has at least 25 more interceptions left in the shoulder.

Alex RodriguezA-Rod hits a three-run homer against Baltimore in his first at-bat of the season. Orioles manager Dave Trembley plays the game under protest until the results of Rodriguez's post-game pregnancy test are back.

Rick Pitino reportedly has interest in leaving Louisville to coach the Sacramento Kings. The Kings request Pitino send them X-rays of his head to make sure there is something in there.

Saturday -- Jeremy Mayfield becomes the first NASCAR driver suspended for violating its substance abuse policy. Officials won't identify the substance, but unconfirmed media reports say traces of Valvoline were found in Mayfield's urine.

Yao Ming is ruled out of the playoffs with a broken foot after X-rays show a miniaturized Derek Fisher hitting Yao's third metatarsal with a ball-peen hammer.

David Feherty jokes that U.S. troops would rather shoot Pelosi than Osama bin Laden. Pelosi's office immediately issues a statement saying she was not aware U.S. troops used real bullets.

Predictions for the upcoming week:

-- Favre will announce he is absolutely, positively most definitely retired, unless the Dodgers need an outfielder.

-- LeBron James will score as many points as he darned well pleases as the Cavaliers sweep the Hawks.

-- While rounding third base after hitting his fifth homer in a week, A-Rod gives birth to an eight-pound baby boy that Madonna immediately adopts.

David Whitley has been a sports columnist at the Orlando Sentinel for 10 years. He previously worked at the Tampa Tribune, San Antonio Light and Tallahassee Democrat. Like all journalists, he has won numerous awards, though most of his have been at state fairs when he dressed as various farm animals. He lives in Orlando with his wife, two daughters, two dogs, two cats, all of whom are forbidden from owning a fantasy team in any sport.

Did Nancy Pelosi Know About Manny's Drug Use? originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Sun, 10 May 2009 13:59:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

 

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]]>alex rodriguezbrett favreBrettFavredavid fehertygeorge w. bushjoba chamberlainjoe bidenkatie couricKatieCouriclebron jamesmadonnanancy pelosioprah winfreyOprahWinfreytiger woodsweek in reviewyao mingDavid WhitleySun, 10 May 2009 13:59:00 EST One More Time: Vote for America's Best-Run Franchisehttp://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/02/11/one-more-time-vote-for-americas-best-run-franchise/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/02/11/one-more-time-vote-for-americas-best-run-franchise/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/02/11/one-more-time-vote-for-americas-best-run-franchise/#commentsFiled under: ,

The clock is ticking.

There's only a few more hours to vote for the best-run franchise in the history of American sports. As of this writing, over 7,500 people have weighed in, and the polls close Wednesday at midnight on the East coast.

Right now, the Steelers are still comfortably leading, but if you've voted for another team and are hoping to see them climb the list, don't give up on the audacity of hope -- not only has the Pittsburgh Steelers' lead diminished drastically, the New Jersey Devils are making a late run up the charts. So cast a ballot after the jump, it's the American thing to do.

One More Time: Vote for America's Best-Run Franchise originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Wed, 11 Feb 2009 15:30:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

 

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]]>Tom MantzouranisWed, 11 Feb 2009 15:30:00 EST Keep Rockin' the Vote: America's Best-Run Franchisehttp://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/02/10/keep-rockin-the-vote-americas-best-run-franchise/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/02/10/keep-rockin-the-vote-americas-best-run-franchise/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/02/10/keep-rockin-the-vote-americas-best-run-franchise/#commentsFiled under: ,

Yesterday, 10 of our writers made a case for the team they feel is the best-run franchise in the history of American sports, and solicited your vote to crown a winner.

A little more than 24 hours later, almost 3,500 of you have weighed in. The Pittsburgh Steelers have a comfortable lead, which can probably be partially attributed to the fact that we've heard nothing but Steeltown love from the media over the last month or so. Brainwash.

But voting lasts all the way through Wednesday, February 11, so there's still time to make your voice heard and get another team on top of the pack.

In case you missed yesterday's breakdown of the finalists, check here for the compelling testimonies from our writers and the merits of each team.

We'll be announcing the winner on Friday in an illustrious ceremony that will include ... um ... a headline, a photo or two, and some words. Be there!

Keep Rockin' the Vote: America's Best-Run Franchise originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Tue, 10 Feb 2009 16:30:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

 

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]]>Tom MantzouranisTue, 10 Feb 2009 16:30:00 EST The Thinkers: Best-Run Franchise?http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/02/09/the-thinkers-americas-best-run-franchise/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/02/09/the-thinkers-americas-best-run-franchise/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/02/09/the-thinkers-americas-best-run-franchise/#commentsFiled under: ,

The Steelers' Super Bowl victory sparked a vigorous debate between our writers -- which is the best-run franchise in the history of American team sports?

Note that best-run doesn't necessarily mean most successful; while success is obviously critical in this discussion, what each team has accomplished is only as important as how they've accomplished it. In other words, there has to be a method to the madness, longevity and creativity. There has to be a pattern of aptitude, a culture of excellence in the ownership and front office that transcends sport.

With that in mind, we've narrowed our debate to 10 teams. It's up to you to pick one. After the jump, one of our writers makes a case for each franchise, and you can vote for your choice. We'll keep voting open through Wednesday, February 11th, and announce a winner on Friday the 13th. Rock n' roll.

Pittsburgh Steelers


More than the six Super Bowl titles, the 14 AFC Championship or 24 playoff appearances in the past 36 years, what sets the Pittsburgh Steelers apart from the rest of pro sports is stability. Art Rooney Sr., and then his son Dan Rooney, have owned the Steelers since 1933. The last time they made a poor coaching hire was in 1966, when Bill Austin started a terrible three-year reign. Since then, the Steelers have had three coaches, one less than the Raiders have had in the past five years. While George Steinbrenner helped make the Yankees a winner through fear and a big checkbook, the Steelers have managed the opposite approach.

The Steelers may never spend big bucks for free agents, but they do draft well, develop their own talent and pull it all together by emphasizing the team over the individual. It's an old-fashioned formula that's working well into the 21st century.
-- JJ Cooper

New York Yankees

Quick caveat: I hate the New York Yankees. However, that doesn't cloud my judgment on how the franchise is run. Because, frankly, it's run really, really well in terms of serving its fanbase and behaving like a true American, capitalistic behemoth.

Sure, the Steinbrenners have, at times, divested themselves of any need to plan for the future. And yes, they are behind emerging trends like "intelligent baseball analysis," but that doesn't really matter, because they are willing to spend whatever is necessary in order to put the best team on the field. They have 26 World Series championships to back this up, in addition to a slew of AL pennants and AL East Division Championships. This year, as the best possible example, the Yankees built a new stadium and managed to sign both Mark Teixiera and CC Sabathia. All while the economy was in a recession.

And while, yes, the Yankees may be regarded as the "Evil Empire" of baseball, there's a reason they are one of the most popular teams in the history of sport: they act the way every single professional team should, because they put two things -- winning and fan enjoyment -- ahead of anything else.
-- Will Brinson

Detroit Red Wings

Aside from winning four of the past 11 Stanley Cups, the Detroit Red Wings are consistently able to re-stock their roster with star players despite picking near the bottom of the NHL draft every season. A quick look at their current roster is a tremendous testament to the work of their scouting staff. Pavel Datsyuk? He was a sixth-round pick. Henrik Zetterberg? Seventh round. Tomas Holmstrom? Tenth round. Combine that with a steady ownership and a tremendous general manager in Ken Holland who has somehow found a way to keep Datsyuk and Zetterberg, long-term, with contracts that have to be considered steals, and, well, I find it hard to argue against the Red Wings.

Besides, Detroit is called "Hockeytown" for a reason, and it's not because the Lions are terrible.
-- Adam Gretz

San Antonio Spurs

When thinking of the San Antonio Spurs, a few words come to mind -- boring, annoying, nuisance (unless you live just south of San Marcos). The only other word you can use to describe them: dominant.

Yeah, it might have been an injured David Robinson that led to their powerful run over the last 10 years, but the pieces Peter Holt, R.C. Buford and Gregg Popovich have molded together is genius. They find talent outside the box, and continue to give a city with only one professional team a lot to cheer for.
-- Shane Bacon

Los Angeles Lakers


Why are the Los Angeles Lakers the best-run franchise in all of sports? It comes down to Jerry Buss and his ability to hire the right people and stay out of the way. In the Jerry Buss Era (from 1979-80 to present) the Lakers have been in the NBA Finals 14 out of a possible 28 times, winning the championship on nine of those occasions.

They've been in the Western Conference Finals 16 out of a possible 28 times. They've also only missed the playoffs twice over that span of time. Just focusing on this decade, the Lakers have been to the Finals five out of a possible nine times, bringing home three NBA titles. They continue to be one of sports' most successful franchise -- competitively and financially, and their stature in the league's history is undeniable.
-- Nate Jones

Indianapolis Colts

There shouldn't even be a football team there, let alone a Super Bowl champion. Yet the fact that there is testifies to the Indianapolis Colts' ability to know who they need and who they don't. Just picking Peyton Manning over Ryan Leaf and grabbing Tony Dungy after he wore out his welcome in Tampa are enough to place the Colts on this list. It doesn't end there, however. The Colts make the best personnel decisions in the NFL, and once they find a good player, they keep him. It's not how other teams do things, but there's no arguing with the results.
-- Mark Hasty

Boston Celtics

The Boston Celtics never stay down for long. Many franchises could say that -- even in the NBA, where May and June breed much less familiarity than in other leagues. (There's hardly ever a surprise NBA Finals entrant.) But Boston doesn't just perform well enough to stay relevant -- every bounce leads to the elite class. The Celtics won multiple championships in the '50s, '60s, '70s and '80s, and added another one last season. Erase half the '90s, and this team becomes the Jack Nicklaus of basketball.
-- Tom Ziller

New Jersey Devils

The fact that the New Jersey Devils are the least-recognizable team on this list speaks volumes of their worthiness. Suffering in the quiet of the NHL's public stature has been one of sports' most successful teams, doing it all on a support system that is weak, even by hockey standards.

In the last 20 seasons, the Devils have missed the playoffs only twice, and they'll make their 11th straight appearance this season. Between '95 and '03 they won three Stanley Cups. What's more impressive is that they've done it all on a payroll that routinely ranks among the league's lowest, building a consistent empire on great drafting and overseas scouting. They've become a farm system for the rest of the league, developing great talent that is eventually poached by those paying more, yet they routinely rank among the league's best. This season, they've missed record-shattering goalie Martin Brodeur for four months and counting, and while others have predicted their demise, they're first in their division and playing some of their best hockey of the millenium.

Oh, they also built a beautiful new arena, which is only in its second year, despite being the butt of attendance jokes league-wide. Pound for pound, they're as epic as any other team on this list.
-- Tom Mantzouranis

Penske Racing

In racing, so many variables, from bad pit stops to blown motors, can take a team out of contention for the win -- and that's before the hype of the sport's biggest events get factored in. It truly takes a healthy dose of dedication, preparation and luck on a given day to even sniff victory lane. For open-wheel's Penske Racing, such a feat has been accomplished in impressive fashion.

The Roger Penske-owned operation has amassed an incredible 14 wins at the Indianapolis 500 -- racing's biggest stage. Even better, those 14 victories took just 34 years to complete, meaning the team has found victory two out of every five times it has competed at Indianapolis. It's tough enough to win "The Greatest Spectacle in Racing" one time, but for a team to be so methodical in reaching victory in a sport where so much can go wrong, Penske Racing making the list of top sports franchises might be its easiest accomplishment.
-- Geoffrey Miller

New England Patriots


Perhaps the most salient measure of franchise greatness is hatred. Just glancing at this list reveals a who's who of the highest-ranked on the hateability index, and the New England Patriots have to be near the top. Rightfully so. Since merging into the NFL in 1970, the Pats have made the playoffs 15 times and, more recently in the era of Robert Kraft, Bill Belichick, Tom Brady, and of course Bill Simmons, the Pats have dominated the NFL with keen personnel moves, staunch defenses, overachieving offenses, and three Super Bowls. Love 'em or hate 'em, there's no denying that the Pats are an elite franchise in sports.
-- Ryan Dembinsky

The Thinkers: Best-Run Franchise? originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Mon, 09 Feb 2009 14:00:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

 

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]]>Tom MantzouranisMon, 09 Feb 2009 14:00:00 EST Why Sports Fans Are Thankfulhttp://backporch.fanhouse.com/2008/11/27/why-sports-fans-are-thankful/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2008/11/27/why-sports-fans-are-thankful/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2008/11/27/why-sports-fans-are-thankful/#commentsFiled under: ,

If you are reading this right now, a few things are probably true.

You're probably a sports nut, the kind of person who is just as pumped for the football on Thanksgiving as you are for the turkey. And you probably follow these games more closely than any of your friends; you're the go-to guy/girl for sports info. Luckily for people like you and I, sports is our getaway, and what a fine place it is to escape to.

With that said, we at the 'House (and one guest appearance) compiled a list of the "Things to Be Thankful for in the Sports World". This is obviously highly personal and subjective territory, but if you're a true fan, how can you view it any other way?

"John Smoltz and the Atlanta Braves. Smoltz is my favorite baseball player of all time, he's going to the Hall of Fame and will [hopefully] end his career as a Brave. The only reason he might not is that the Braves have been stinking up the joint the past few years (ever since I named my fantasy baseball teams 14&Counting, actually). But, despite their inability to continue to win the division over the past few years, they won a championship at the apex of my baseball loving childhood, and for that I'm thankful. I can't imagine having to grow up as a championship-less loser my entire sports rooting life. Or becoming like a Red Sox fan after it finally happened. Both thoughts are depressing."
--Will Brinson

"I'm thankful that NHL has a huge number of young stars that are oozing with so much talent that it might actually make the game relevant again, and more than an after thought in the national landscape. (Sid Crosby, Alex Ovechkin, Evgeni Malkin, Patrick Kane ... I'm looking at you.)"
--Adam Gretz

"How Alexander Ovechkin shows his passion for hockey. His idea of a goal celebration is original in that it's completely spontaneous and usually involves his teammates and him together. The passion he has for hockey is ridiculously infectious. Watch a Washington Capitals game, and you'll be hooked. As much fun as it is to watch the superstars of various individual and team sports, not many of them are like Ovechkin. For whatever reason, his enthusiasm just comes across as genuine and is never questioned. It doesn't hurt that he's doing this in a newly-revitalized hockey town. Washington has been waiting for years to have a player they could latch on to. Quicker than anyone could have anticipated, Ovechkin has become that player. He carried that team to new heights last year, and the city came along for the ride. From the perspective of a Minnesota fan, there's no shortage of passion for the game. I watch it on TV, I attend games, I call games on the radio. But even as an outsider, it's impossible not to appreciate Ovechkin and what he's brought to the sport in such a short amount of time. You can talk Crosby until you're blue in the face, but I'll take Ovechkin any day of the week."
--Bruce Ciskie

"I'm thankful for Kris Jenkins, Brett Favre, and the other smart front office decisions the Jets have made over the past few years. For once, we have a nose tackle that actually embodies the position (all 350 pounds of him) instead of a pretending fat guy. And a quarterback that can rifle a pass instead of "noodle" it on a slant. That some pundits are even saying the Jets are the best AFC team is something I never thought I'd hear. This is a team that's built to win now, and in the future. We've come a long way from the days of Rich Kotite, New York."
--Thomas Herrera

"I'm thankful that Paul Johnson and Georgia Tech are proving that the triple option offense can still work in big-time college football."
--Mark Hasty

"I'm thankful for Martin Brodeur. He's a quiet icon in an era where the Internet and 24-hour media have turned over every last rock looking for subjects to worship and/or tear down. I was only eight years old when he made his pro debut, 10 when he took the Devils to the Conference Finals against the Rangers in '94. I don't remember life as a Devils fan before Brodeur. I've grown up with him. Through all the change that growing up entails, I knew one constant would be seeing Brodeur 70+ games a year, making unbelievable stops, tearing down records, winning Stanley Cups, saving the day. His dedication to the game and his team are remarkable; when Scott Gomez left to sign with the Rangers, Brodeur refused to speak to his old good friend again. He's accepted less money to stay in New Jersey. He's Cal Ripken and Michael Jordan combined. This will be the first full year since 1993 that Brodeur won't play in at least 65 games thanks to a biceps injury. He has two records left to break in very close shooting range -- most all-time wins and most all-time shutouts -- before he could rightfully call himself the best goaltender of all time, and those will probably have to wait until next year. I've long wondered what it would be like not having the security of Brodeur in net, and now I know -- it's pretty damn hollow. You don't know what you got 'til it's gone, indeed."
--Tom Mantzouranis

"I'm thankful for Bruce Lee, who, if he were still alive, would be turning 68 years old today. Everyone who loves mixed martial arts owes a debt of gratitude to Lee, who did more to make martial arts popular than any other person in history. Lee's embrace of all forms of fighting made him, in many respects, the original mixed martial artist. He'd love the fact that MMA's popularity is surging."
--Michael David Smith

"I'm thankful for Josh Hamilton's season. Far too often in sports teams and players like to claim that everyone gave up on them and that nobody believed they could succeed. Hamilton's the rare case where, for exceptionally good reason, it was actually true. That he came back, had the season he did and turned the Home Run Derby into something actually worth watching should give hope to anyone who find's themselves on the wrong side of one of life's bounces. I realize Hamilton made his own bed, but he didn't stay in it which is worthy of applause and I'm thankful for one of the more enjoyable sports stories of the year."
--Josh Alper

"For Fantasy Football."
--Matt Snyder

"That my son is 10 months old today and has been even more fun than I could possibly have imagined. That the Tennessee Titans drafted Chris Johnson in the first round even when I said they were complete and utter fools for making the decision. As a result the Titans are 10-1 and I'll be spending Thanksgiving Day watching them play in Detroit with my wife's family. That if my college team, the Tennessee Vols, were going to collapse while I was writing a book about them, at least I'd have a front row seat. That basketball season is here and Bruce Pearl is on my side. And, most importantly on this day of giving tremendous thanks, that amateur internet porn continues to grow in popularity. From the bottom of my heart, thank you girls, thank you each and every one."
--Clay Travis, Claynation

I'm thankful for John Daly, who has singlehandedly made golf interesting. Even though he hasn't had his PGA Tour card in more than two years, looks to be well over 400 pounds, and can't make it a week without something like this happening. If John McCain really wanted to win the election, he would've had Big John play the role of Joe the Plumber. Daly's much stronger on foreign policy and despite his history, I have yet to meet a person who doesn't like him (and he knows Kid Rock!). I can't imagine how popular he'd be if he were still any good at golf. -- Ryan Wilson

"And finally, for the blogosphere. Never in my life did I imagine that "catching a break" in the journalistic world would be writing daily online for millions of readers who have yearned for some other form of sports news. This world is full of creative websites from Kissing Suzy Kolber and Every Day Should be Saturday to Deadspin and Awful Announcing. This is a new voice, but it is a voice and it might have taken the Buzz Bissinger moment to make people realize this. Blogs are fun, exciting and different, similar to that goth girl you used to have a crush on in high school but would never admit it. If you are a serious breakfast guy, eat your cereal with your CNN. If you like things a little different, come enjoy your huevos rancheros with us bloggers."
--Shane Bacon

Got anything you're thankful for in sports? Spit it out in the comments. Happy Thanksgiving everyone, enjoy whatever food makes you happy.

Why Sports Fans Are Thankful originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Thu, 27 Nov 2008 12:00:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

 

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]]>Shane BaconThu, 27 Nov 2008 12:00:00 EST FanHouse TV: A Visual Account of a Blogger Running the NYC Marathonhttp://backporch.fanhouse.com/2008/11/06/fanhouse-tv-a-visual-account-of-a-blogger-running-the-nyc-marat/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2008/11/06/fanhouse-tv-a-visual-account-of-a-blogger-running-the-nyc-marat/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2008/11/06/fanhouse-tv-a-visual-account-of-a-blogger-running-the-nyc-marat/#commentsFiled under: , , ,

I ran the New York City Marathon on Sunday, surprising no one more than myself. It wasn't something I imagined I'd ever do. It wasn't something I even had any inclination of doing for most of my life. But it's something I've never been happier to have done.

I took some video of the event and edited it together for you here. Trust me, if you ever get a chance to do something like this, you would be wise to take it.

My video, and some more thoughts, after the jump.

If any of you think you'd never be able to run a marathon, you're kidding yourself. Some of the people I met in the race were so inspiring, it made me ask, "What the hell was my excuse to not have done this sooner?"

I met one woman, a brain cancer survivor, who was running her second marathon in three weeks (her seventh overall) - and she's in the middle of chemo treatments. She would actually train at times by running to her treatments.

I saw another man racing with one leg, racing with crutches. He finished in about five hours - faster than a hell of a lot of the able-bodied people on the course.

I saw rock bands, reggae bands, thugs, Hacidic Jews, hipsters, Manhattanites, drunk people, sober people and one amazing gospel choir which was singing outside a church in Brooklyn. And everyone was out there was cheering just as hard as the person next to them.


Video Link.

FanHouse TV: A Visual Account of a Blogger Running the NYC Marathon originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Thu, 06 Nov 2008 14:00:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

 

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]]>MarathonKristine BlinnThu, 06 Nov 2008 14:00:00 EST An Afternoon With John Daly (Including His Sunday 'Diet' and the 'Wal-Mart Crowd')http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2008/08/18/an-afternoon-with-john-daly-including-his-sunday-diet-and-the/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2008/08/18/an-afternoon-with-john-daly-including-his-sunday-diet-and-the/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2008/08/18/an-afternoon-with-john-daly-including-his-sunday-diet-and-the/#commentsFiled under:


Notes from the FedEx Cup at the Wyndham Championship in Greensboro.

On Saturday, I heard from a very reliable source that John Daly's intake during Monday's Wyndham Pro-Am included (over 18 holes): 21(!) cigarettes, eight Diet Cokes and four bags of M&M's.

My response was, initially: "Get the #%^@ out" and secondly, "Okay, now I have to actually follow Daly on Sunday and write this all down."

Yeah, a pretty repulsive way to spend an entire Sunday afternoon, right? Well, I've had worse. Until today.

What follows is kind of like a "Where's Waldo?" game for cigarettes and Diet Coke. Don't bother looking for any water -- I'm pretty sure Daly hasn't had a sip of water since at least 2002. Originally, I was going to post a picture of every cig and every Diet Coke, but ...

It wouldn't be a Daly round if I didn't have to fight through what some anonymous people referred to as "the Wal-Mart crowd". And by "fighting" I mean "taking tons of pictures of people in jorts (jeans + shorts - belt) and Mason Crosby jerseys". And the fans, folks, are way, way more entertaining at this stage of his career.


(Seriously, WTF.)




10:30 a.m. One DC and ... oh, what's that? Daly's caddy is the same guy who was managing his finances from Hooters? Seems like a solid business decision.



Another solid business decision? Purchasing this shirt:



I honestly have no idea how he didn't smoke a cig until the second hole, but right then and there I knew we weren't getting 21 (it's also worth noting he didn't smoke on 1, 9, 10 or 18 ... ) Of course, my day had already been made -- see above.



Diet Coke number two? Or just an excuse to show this freaking bag? You decide.



"The laaaaaaaaaand of the freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ..."
(Actually, you may recall that this is a Woody Austin special Buick shirt.)



"Annnnd the hoooome of the braaaaaaaaaaaaaaavvvvvvvvvvvvve."



See, if I were a jerk or not a completely objective and man of the people type guy, I would caption this photo of a 10 year old kid's hand as: "Wow, I could have sworn they sold fingernail clippers at Wal-Mart."



Putting out the vibe.



"Dude. I've got a press pass. Get bent."



Looks like an inside job.



And, since Daly didn't burn a heater on 18, I might as well tell you that he smoked 12 cigarettes, drank four Diet Cokes, didn't drink a single drop of water and didn't take a bite of food for the entire 18 holes. Yeah, I was kind of disappointed too, at least until this happened right in front of the 18th tee:

An Afternoon With John Daly (Including His Sunday 'Diet' and the 'Wal-Mart Crowd') originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Mon, 18 Aug 2008 01:00:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

 

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]]>brinsonwyndhamJohn DalyJohnDalyWill BrinsonMon, 18 Aug 2008 01:00:00 EST Team Owners Favor McCain Over Obamahttp://backporch.fanhouse.com/2008/08/15/team-owners-favor-mccain-over-obama/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2008/08/15/team-owners-favor-mccain-over-obama/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2008/08/15/team-owners-favor-mccain-over-obama/#commentsFiled under:

Over at The Politico, reporters Ken Vogel and Matt Lindsey did plenty of scout work to determine that when it comes to owners of major league sports franchises, Republican Senator and presumptive GOP Presidential nominee John McCain is doing far better than his Democratic Party counterpart Barack Obama in the fundraising department:




Through the end of June, team owners in the four major sports and their families have given to or raised as much or more than $3.2 million for McCain, the presumptive Republican nominee, compared with as much as $615,000 for his Democratic rival Obama, according to a Politico analysis of data from the Federal Election Commission, the campaigns and interviews.

Not only did McCain raise more than Obama from the owners in each of the four major professional sports leagues analyzed, but McCain even raised six times more from the owners of teams in Obama's hometown of Chicago.
As you might expect, there are a lot of familiar names thrown about here. But the most stunning revelation isn't revealed until far deeper into the piece -- apparently, most of the team owners who were big donors to the presidential campaign of Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton, have yet to make a contribution to the Obama campaign, perhaps an indication of some lingering resentment after a bruising primary season. Just one example is New York Yankees owner George Steinbrenner, who donated $2,300 to Clinton's primary campaign, but has since made donations to McCain's join presidential campaign committee.

One notable exception to that seems to be Charlotte Bobcats owner Bob Johnson, who donated the $2,300 maximum to Clinton's campaign while "bundling" another $100,000 in contributions -- efforts that Johnson has since matched and then exceeded on behalf of the Obama campaign. And for those of you who might be wondering, Bobcats minority owner Michael Jordan donated $2,100 to Obama's primary campaign, but has yet to make a contribution to his general election bid.

But while a fundraising lead among sports owners might cheer the McCain campaign a little bit, it has to be put into the larger context of the overall fundraising take of both campaigns. In that department, Obama has simply dominated, collecting $340 million to just $140 million for McCain. What's worse for McCain, is that Obama's donor base is far broader -- more than 2 million vs. 600,000. That means fewer of Obama's donors have reached the $2,300 Federal limit for campaign contributions, enabling his campaign to re-solicit previous donors with a greater degree of success. Some of that advantage has been offset by the greater fundraising success experienced by the Republican National Committee vs. the Democratic National Committee, but Obama still enjoys a significant advantage heading into the Fall campaign season.

Put simply, while McCain might enjoy an advantage with this small demographic slice of big donors, big donors don't matter as much anymore. Instead, in part thanks to the fundraising success initially enjoyed by the ultimately unsuccessful White House bid of former Vermont Governor Howard Dean in 2000, leveraging the power of the Web to cultivate a far broader base of small donors is now considered the way to go -- a judgment that certainly seems to have been born out by Obama's success.

Prominent McCain Supporters

New York Jets owner Woody Johnson IV
Arizona Cardinals owners Bill and Michael Bidwell
Texas Rangers and Dallas Stars owner Tom Hicks

Prominent Obama Supporters

Charlotte Bobcats owner Bob Johnson
Minnesota Twins owner Carl Pohlad
Boston Celtics owner Robert Epstein

Owners Who Made Contributions to Both Campaigns

Washington Caps owner Ted Leonsis
Chicago Cubs owner Sam Zell
Chicago White Sox and Bulls owner Jerry Reinsdorf

Team Owners Favor McCain Over Obama originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Fri, 15 Aug 2008 14:35:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

 

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]]>Bill BidwellBillBidwellbob johnsonBobJohnsoncarl pohladCarlPohladgeorge steinbrennerGeorgeSteinbrennerjerry reinsdorfJerryReinsdorfMichael BidwellMichaelBidwellRobert EpsteinRobertEpsteinsam zellSamZellted leonsisTedLeonsistom hicksTomHickswoody johnsonWoodyJohnsonEric McErlainFri, 15 Aug 2008 14:35:00 EST The John Daly PR Machine Is Coming to a Hooters Restaurant Near Youhttp://backporch.fanhouse.com/2008/08/14/the-john-daly-pr-machine-is-coming-to-a-hooters-restaurant-near/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2008/08/14/the-john-daly-pr-machine-is-coming-to-a-hooters-restaurant-near/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2008/08/14/the-john-daly-pr-machine-is-coming-to-a-hooters-restaurant-near/#commentsFiled under:


I really don't think it was unfair to have tremendous expectations about John Daly's appearance Wednesday night at the Hooters in Greensboro, NC.

He was here, of course, for the Wyndham Championship and he was there, of course, because he's sponsored by Hooters. Or maybe, like every other dude in a wife beater with a pool cue Wednesday night, he likes women, beer and wings.

Those three wonderful things combined with John Patrick Daly had me envisioning a madhouse scene: Greensboro's upper crust pounding bricks, swinging pool cues, offering to buy Daly shots, inked up mammalian glands and enough cig smoke to exhume Marge Schott.

So, armed with a digital camera, a Care to Get Nice trucker hat and four cartons of Marlboro Lights -- should such a bribe be necessary to get 15 minutes of Daly's time -- I headed up to Hooters to meet some friends of mine (Mr. Coffin seen above right, Mrs. declined to be photographed at Hooters).

When I parked my car and started walking towards the restaurant -- the Cult's "Fire Woman" blaring from the 100.3 Buzzard-mobile -- I was pretty sure it would be madness inside.

I was way wrong.
Instead of some Southern styled fiesta, what you see above is what was going on. I would have more pics, but it was too damn awkward to have Daly, sometimes on cell phone, mostly burning heaters, stare back at me from the rigged up merch/autograph table at the front of the restaurant.

Why is Daly sitting by himself? Mainly, it seems, because he's letting his PR people run the show. Normally, that's fine. But the crew consisted of one surly manager type guy sitting to one side on a cell phone and two girls that looked like they just got fired from fantasy football video gigs, kind of politely offering to run credit cards.

"Credit cards?" you say. Excellent question. It would seem that they decided to charge for certain merchandise. Witness this exchange between Big John, his manager and a fan:

Fan: "Hey, can I get three of these [picks up glossy, yet cheap photos]? And can you make one out to David and one to Josh for my uncle and brother?"
Daly: "Sure thing, man."
[signs pictures]
Fan: "Thanks, John, good luck tomorrow."
[starts walking away]
Manager: "Hey, hold on, buddy. That'll be 75 bucks."
Fan: "Hahaha"
Manager: [stares, not laughing at all]
Fan: "Wait ... seriously?"
Manager: "Yeah."

Yes, that's right. $25 per photo. Not exceptionally nice photos either, mind you (and the same price as my crappy Lion's head club cover that I used as an excuse to approach him for the third time).

Watching that go down, in addition to Daly having no interest in a brief interview (he quickly declined my offer to hang out afterwards for a little bit), and refusing to wear my trucker's hat ("I've got my own website -- my people would be pissed.") in a photo left me a little teed.

And it's not even getting rejected for an interview -- that happens all the time. It was more of like: "Hey, John. You're in Hooters. In Greensboro." And it's not like being here at Hooters is ruining his preparation for a tournament that he's playing in because of a sponsor's exemption. And the fact that the operation was so geared against the few fans that were there that it really seemed to defeat the purpose of having it at a C rate strip club/dining establishment combo, you kind of have to wonder where the hell he's getting his advice these days.

Because, as Ryan pointed out, Daly's rep is as a man of the people. (See: Kid Rock + tall boy + golf ball) So to see him so calmly and inattentively not interacting with people, well, it was kind of weird.

And I don't mean to mock Daly for coming out and fulfilling his contract with Hooters; from what our waitress said it couldn't have been that tough for him to deal with since he was in there both nights before too.

I guess more than anything, the scene was a little sad. Management shut the whole charade down by 7 pm (instead of 8 which they advertised on the sign outside) because, frankly, there just wasn't that much interest. You never had to wait more than two minutes for a photo opp or a picture purchase and by the end of the night, the only excitement was the group of three elderly women in Hooters t-shirts who claimed to all be girlfriends (not the platonic kind) trying to lick my face.

I know, I know. Fly honies and all that (my expression doesn't do the shock/awe justice, I promise.)

It wasn't the primal proletarian party I wanted and maybe that's my fault for assuming it would be.

But I still simply refuse to believe that what went down, or what didn't go down, at Hooters last night is Daly's standard public behavior. Hell, I've seen him act far more aloof on-camera, mid-tournament. So I'm just going to pretend like he was tired. Or got some bad advice. Or needed some more beer.

On the other hand, it's entirely possible the scene was exactly what I should have expected all along: a bunch of drunken rednecks, more noise than show and a room slam packed full of false hope that never delivered.

The John Daly PR Machine Is Coming to a Hooters Restaurant Near You originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Thu, 14 Aug 2008 00:30:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

 

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]]>Will BrinsonThu, 14 Aug 2008 00:30:00 EST Erin Andrews Thinks Mike Nadel's Criticism of Her at the Cubs Game Is 'Really Sad'http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2008/08/02/erin-andrews-thinks-mike-nadels-criticism-of-her-at-the-cubs-ga/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2008/08/02/erin-andrews-thinks-mike-nadels-criticism-of-her-at-the-cubs-ga/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2008/08/02/erin-andrews-thinks-mike-nadels-criticism-of-her-at-the-cubs-ga/#commentsFiled under: , ,


Mike Nadel was highly critical of Erin Andrews in a recent column entitled "Blonde bombshell can't distract red-hot Cubs". Nadel essentially called Andrews out for her outfit (which was "designed to accentuate her, um, positives") and her behavior around the athletes (touching Alfonso Soriano's bicep), as well as the athletes behavior towards her (Lou Piniella asking her if she was "on a modeling assignment").

Piniella was asking in a joking and complimentary manner, but there was nothing funny nor nice about Nadel's column. Michael Rand (Randball!) caught up with Andrews to get her thoughts on his column and she was not impressed.
"I think my overall reaction is that it's really sad that in 2008 ... I have people watching every single move I make," Andrews said. "When there's a big game between the Cubs and Brewers going on, it's sad that that's what their focus is on. ... And the last thing I had heard is that when you want to do a story on someone, you contact them."
Frankly, I tend to agree with Andrews. But only in the sense that Nadel had no business attacking her personally with his column, especially without even speaking with her. Even though, according to his interview with Deadspin, he did not intend to do that (but rather to attack the "Erin Andrewsness" going on the world today), it still came off that way.

Now, to examine the other side of the coin, Andrews mentions that many of these athletes look at her like "a daughter". Um, no. I am not buying that. Not that I believe Sweet Lou is trying to hit on Andrews, but I refuse to believe that all of these professional athletes are just buddy-buddy-buddy with EA and thinking strictly platonic thoughts.

So, in that sense Nadel is kind of right on. The problem is that there's no real black and white answer to this debate. ESPN abuses Andrews to a degree by giving her as much attention as possible. Andrews is an attractive woman -- albeit very good at what she does professionally -- who wears clothes that occasionally accentuate her looks (although, in fairness, I find her to be a pretty conservative dresser). And players probably treat her more courteously because she's attractive.

It is, unfortunately, how the world works a lot of the time. Neither Nadel or Andrews are 100% right or wrong. The nice thing about the little blog-war level tiff is that at least we get the issue shoved right in our collective face to actually discuss it -- because it certainly merits at least that.

Erin Andrews Thinks Mike Nadel's Criticism of Her at the Cubs Game Is 'Really Sad' originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Sat, 02 Aug 2008 19:15:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

 

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]]>Alfonso SorianoAlfonsoSorianoErin AndrewsErinAndrewsLou PiniellaLouPiniellaMike NadelMikeNadelWill BrinsonSat, 02 Aug 2008 19:15:00 EST <em>AJC</em> Blows ESPN's Cover -- Valdosta, Georgia Is Titletown, USAhttp://backporch.fanhouse.com/2008/07/28/ajc-blows-espns-cover-valdosta-georgia-is-titletow/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2008/07/28/ajc-blows-espns-cover-valdosta-georgia-is-titletow/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2008/07/28/ajc-blows-espns-cover-valdosta-georgia-is-titletow/#commentsFiled under: , ,

Is there anything funnier than seeing ESPN get egg on its face a bunch of network suits get all wadded up about something leaking to the press? I would argue "No." I would also argue that Valdosta, Georgia is not "Titletown, USA".

ESPN clearly would argue with me, as the Atlanta Journal-Constitution has already announced (via Donny Chavez) that Valdosta will be crowned in about three and a half hours. Whoops.
For years, it's been called Winnersville. Now, the south Georgia town of Valdosta has another name: TitleTown USA, thanks to ESPN.

The cable sports network is coming to Valdosta today to declare Valdosta the winner of its summer promotion that earlier this month featured the city as one of its 20 finalists for the national award.

The trophy ceremony will be filmed at Valdosta High School's Bazemore-Hyder Stadium, where fans and citizens are encouraged to arrive by 2 p.m. Valdosta will be announced the winner on Monday's 6 p.m. "SportsCenter."

According to the Valdosta Daily Times, Valdosta High School has won 116 region and state championships, a large chunk of them in football. The Wildcats football team is the nation's all-time winningest program and has 23 state championships.
Well, I'll be. Maybe they do deserve the award. And frankly, I'm totally fine with that.

Heck, as far as I'm concerned, just keep Boston out of the winner's circle and make sure the announcement gets leaked just early enough to ruin the six o clock "celebration" and I hope they run this thing every year.

Or ... or.. and bear with me here, because this is crazy, hip and awesome ... what if they had a contest where a bunch of bands came on SC every night to try and create the best possible theme to Titletown? At that point you could just stop running highlights and show music all the time. It would be great!

AJC Blows ESPN's Cover -- Valdosta, Georgia Is Titletown, USA originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Mon, 28 Jul 2008 14:30:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

 

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]]>Will BrinsonMon, 28 Jul 2008 14:30:00 EST Buzz Bissinger vs. the NCAAhttp://backporch.fanhouse.com/2008/07/21/buzz-bissinger-vs-the-ncaa/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2008/07/21/buzz-bissinger-vs-the-ncaa/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2008/07/21/buzz-bissinger-vs-the-ncaa/#commentsFiled under: ,

Like a whole lot of other serious bloggers, I didn't need much of an excuse to take a piece out of Buzz Bissinger in the aftermath of his infamous appearance on Costas Now with ex-Deadspin Editor Will Leitch. Since then, Bissinger has been making more positive noises about blogging.

Then again, after getting roasted the way he did online, I don't doubt that he might have come to the conclusion that bloggers could just as easily kill his next book as vault it to bestseller status. But today, I come not to bury Bissinger but to praise him. In particular, to praise him for standing up to the ninnies at the NCAA after they physically subdued Bissinger at the College World Series for -- wait for it -- trying to pass through the turnstiles while carrying a "professional grade" digital camera.

Apparently, Bissinger had been carrying said camera into Omaha's Rosenblatt Stadium all week long without incident, until he was prevented from entering the stadium with the camera in tow, presumably to prevent him from taking shots of the action and selling them.

Bissinger, no shrinking violet as we all know, wasn't pleased with the seemingly capricious judgment being enforced upon him, which is when he started to argue and eventually triggered a physical altercation with the guard. Here's how Bissinger told the rest of the story in Saturday's New York Times:
Roughly half a dozen security officials tackled me and threw me face first into the concrete, causing an ugly gash on my leg and a silver dollar-sized bruise on my arm. My glasses broke. One put me in a chokehold while another handcuffed me, all of it occurring in front of my three sons. They were traumatized. I was traumatized. Over a camera. At a sporting event, a college sporting event that likes to think of itself as the ultimate family affair.
Ladies and gentlemen, Rosenblatt Stadium in Omaha is a public venue that was constructed with public tax dollars. That the NCAA believes that it can regulate what sort of camera equipment fans can carry into a stadium -- especially in an era when the distinction between professional and consumer electronics has been rendered essentially meaningless -- is an outrage only the ivory towers denizens of Indianapolis could come up with.

Further, and I can't quite believe I'm about to write this, but I'm not sure I want to live in a country where security guards feel free to provoke a confrontation with a private citizen and then physically subdue him over something as trivial as a potential copyright violation. What's worse, a bruised Bissinger and his sons were finally allowed to enter the stadium, only to sit beside another fan who was armed with -- you guessed -- a massive telephoto lens that would have been at home hanging off the end of any camera used by a "professional" sports photographer.

Granted, we don't have the other side of the story from the security guard, and Bissinger has a long track record of just being a jerk. Still, I'm not ready to let the NCAA off the hook so easily, not when they continually make the wrong choices when it comes to burgeoning digital technologies that are transforming the coverage of big time sporting events.

So as far as I'm concerned, this steaming pile of hooey belongs on top of the pile in NCAA potentate Myles Brand's inbox. So tell us "El Jefe", how does the NCAA, made up of member institutions dedicated to defending the right of individuals not to be offended by just about anything and everything, defend the physical beating of a man who wanted to do nothing more than take a couple of pictures of his kids at one of your sanctioned baseball game?

For those of you who believe this is an idle question, think again.

Buzz Bissinger vs. the NCAA originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Mon, 21 Jul 2008 14:29:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

 

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]]>buzz bissingerBuzzBissingerEric McErlainMon, 21 Jul 2008 14:29:00 EST