Back Porch Horse Racing

No, don't freak out -- Thom Yorke won't be doing any left-turned sprints around a dirt track as a jockey whips his hide this weekend (at least not that I can confirm and/or report anyway), and his band doesn't actually doesn't even horse in the race either, as it might seem easy to insinuate.

Instead, it's just a horse named Radiohead, which is still pretty awesome from a pop culture perspective (and certainly better than being stuck in the desert on a horse with no name anyway).

It's the hope that keeps them coming back. That's part of the allure of being a degenerate gambler. Or maybe that's just the debilitating addiction showing through. Either way, some down-on-their-luck sad sacks received a gift from the heavens Thursday at Belmont Park.

UPDATE, 2:40 PM ET: A source tells FanHouse that the New York Racing Association (NYRA) is paying off on both tickets (both the winning and losing superfecta), which will cost the track roughly $82,000.

Via the New York Daily News:

Saturday's fifth race at Belmont Park got off to an odd start when a horse named Phone Jazz threw off her jockey, Jean-Luc Samyn, while coming out of the gate. But that didn't matter to her.

NEW YORK (AP) -- This was a Belmont for the Birds.

It was Summer Bird, not Mine That Bird and jockey Calvin Borel, who came roaring down the long stretch and won the final jewel of the Triple Crown on Saturday.

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In a thrilling finish, a Bird won the 2009 Belmont Stakes, but it wasn't Mine That Bird.

Jockey Calvin Borel's historic bid to sweep the Triple Crown with two different horses was derailed, as Summer Bird upstaged the Kentucky Derby champ in the "Test of the Champion." Kent Desormeaux, the Hall of Fame jockey who was denied a victory at the 2008 Belmont Stakes, finds redemption in the end.

The complete order of finish is below:

Suddenly, I'm into horse racing.

I find myself wondering how many cowboy hats Bennie "Chip" Woolley owns, and whether Mr. Ed was faster than Trigger. This all came out of nowhere, just like Mine That Bird during the Kentucky Derby.

Get the picture? I'm sure you do.

On behalf of David Feherty, I'd like to apologize for the following column. It again takes shots at House Mis-Speaker Nancy Pelosi, not to mention her fellow victims of CIA subterfuge, Roger Clemens, Tim Floyd and Mine That Bird.

Who knew the CIA was plotting to overthrow the Preakness? You will after reading the latest installment of Week in Review.

The incredible filly Rachel Alexandra won the 134th running of the Preakness Stakes Saturday at Pimlico, becoming the first female horse to win the Preakness since 1924.

What you see above -- beer cans flying all over the place -- was, for years, a common sight in the Preakness infield. But race organizers say that won't be the case this year.

Above is the full broadcast of Saturday's Kentucky Derby as it appeared on NBC, with Tom Durkin calling the race. It was not one of Durkin's better days.