Back Porch Nba

Of all the headlines I read today, the one you see above is now second on the "didn't see that coming" list after "Al Roker Loses Mind Previewing Weather for Sunday Night Football". Apparently, 50 Cent and his entourage went after Marv Albert backstage at Jimmy Kimmel Live last night.

At least if you believe the Los Angeles Times (or if you prefer to get your news from more reputable sources, here ya go):

Not sure Jeremy Shockey should be the final arbiter of who's fit to play in the NFL and who isn't, but he took to Twitter to explain to all the football simpletons that LeBron James couldn't cut it. Just in case that wasn't obvious from the outset.


The thing is, after James made the comments, and Browns head coach Eric Mangini offered a "come on down," some people figured all that was left to do was sign the contract and get him fitted for a a uniform. Not sure how it got to that point, but thankfully, Shockey, who came out of retirement this season to resume his career (Wait, he was in the league last year? Really?), has set us straight.

The video is for Ron Artest's new song, "Blind." The audio makes me wish I was deaf.

All (easy) jokes aside, this is not terrible, Ron. But I prefer your earlier work. Things get old school after the jump.

Bill Simmons has gone from humble Boston-area blogger to the voice of ESPN.com in about a decade. And now his second book, The Book of Basketball: The NBA According to The Sports Guy, is atop the New York Times bestseller list.

He appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live earlier this week (Simmons briefly left ESPN to write for Kimmel's show) to discuss the book and during the seven minute interview we learned a lot. Like the fact that Simmons used crystal meth, sports a weave, and had a 10-year sexual relationship with his father. At least to hear Kimmel explain it.*

Simmons also talked about an interaction he had with one hardcore fan during his recent Los Angeles book signing. Moving pictures details after the jump.

Several years ago Chicago Tribune writer Rick Morrissey -- likely blinded by the seersucker suit, the afro and the beautiful gaze of Joakim Noah -- pronounced that the Bulls' first-rounder was "soft" and "simply didn't have any game." At the time, he said if Noah proved him wrong, he would eat his column with salsa.

Whoops. Noah is averaging over 12 boards and 11 points per game through Tuesday evening and therefore, Morrissey was wrong. Fortunately for all of us, he decided to man up and do exactly what he promised, by eating his column with salsa. Morrissey declined to return emails to FanHouse (I can't imagine why) when we requested a statement regarding the taste of the column and embarrassment of the situation.

So rumors were all we had until Tuesday. Fortunately, the Tribune knows a thing or two about viral videos and social media, so video emerged. Salsa-soaked hand pound to Not Qualified to Comment for passing it along -- semi-boring footage of a newspaper writer eating a dying medium soaked in salsa after the jump.

Va'Shaundya O'Neal, otherwise known as Shaunie, is once again splitting from Shaquille O'Neal -- and this time she claims the differences are irreconcilable.

Va'Shaundya O'Neal filed for legal separation with intent to divorce Monday in Los Angeles. According to the AP report, she's seeking spousal and child support and full legal custody of the couple's four children.

Elie Seckbach, the Embedded Correspondent, brings his exclusive video reporting to FanHouse. Check back regularly for more videos.

There are close to 4.5 million Native Americans living in about 565 federally recognized communities across the Untied States. Many of these communities have been neglected, and unemployment in some areas is as high as 80 percent. The shortage of funds results in little to no organized youth sports activities. Diabetes and obesity are fast-growing problems.

Check out the video after the jump.

It certainly doesn't suck to be Sasha Vujacic. After hitching his star to Kobe Bryant, he and the rest of his teammates became the envy of the NBA, helping the Lakers win their 15th championship in franchise history. And now? After reportedly hooking up with Maria Sharapova, he's become the envy of men, period.

Before we get too far ahead of ourselves, I should note that Sharapova has yet to be seen at a Staples Center courtside seat wearing a Vujacic jersey (they sell those, right?), but the two were seen "cuddling up" in public at a recent U2 concert, as reported by CNBC's Darren Rovell. Clearly, that's enough to go on, right? OK, maybe not, but whatever is going on, Vujacic is in no hurry to set the record straight.

Sometimes, you hear rumors about NBA players doing crazy things with women. That's just part of the game, though. Do you know what I am saying? But still, when I heard that Dwight Howard allegedly (bold = important, obvs) whipped out his, ahem, member at porn star Mary Carey while in the bathroom of N'Sync member Chris Kirkpatrick's house, well, let's just say I was shocked.

But that's the story she was preaching on the radio earlier this week.