Back Porch FanHouse

The Rabbi That Made Peace on the Basketball Court

Elie Seckbach — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 14:00:00 EST

Filed under: Sports Media, FanHouse Exclusive, Backporch Features

Elie Seckbach, the Embedded Correspondent, brings his exclusive video reporting to FanHouse. Check back regularly for more videos.

It was right before the NBA season kicked off that Rabbi Yitzchak Dovid Grossman gained national attention. During a game between the New York Knicks and Israel's champion Maccabi Tel Aviv, Pini Gershon, Maccabi's coach, got two technical fouls, refused to leave the floor and that's when Rabbi Grossman stepped in. In this exclusive FanHouse video we talk to the Rabbi about that very moment.

Check out the video after the jump.

The Rabbi That Made Peace on the Basketball Court originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Mon, 23 Nov 2009 14:00:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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HausCast 37: NFL Week 11, Simmons' Twitter Ban and Long, Lost Uga

Ryan Wilson — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 09:00:00 EST

Filed under: ESPN, College Sports, Sports Media, Podcast, NFL, Twitter

The FanHouse Podcast: Because bloggers are much sexier on the phone.

Hauscast returns this week and Will and Ryan talk about the Browns' perpetual death spiral, the Steelers' record-setting special teams, and how Panthers offensive coordinator Jeff Davidson is actually more detrimental to the team than Jake Delhomme.

The conversation then turns to crazy NFL owners, why ESPN decided to suspend Bill Simmons from Twitter, and the passing of Uga VII.

Talking after the jump.

And while you're at it, give the gift that keeps on giving: Subscribe via iTunes.

HausCast 37: NFL Week 11, Simmons' Twitter Ban and Long, Lost Uga originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Mon, 23 Nov 2009 09:00:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Marv Albert, 50 Cent Beef Was, Unsurprisingly, Overblown

Will Brinson — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 02:30:00 EST

Filed under: Blogs, Sports Media, Current Events

Marv Albert and 50 Cent had a reported "interaction" backstage at Jimmy Kimmel Live that generated a ton of press -- obviously whenever two people like Marv and Fitty interact in a reportedly violent manner, it's gonna be news.

Turns out the the whole thing was entirely overblown. Marv and 50 never had any sort of violent interaction and, from what FanHouse has learned, and which the AP is now reporting, it was all a giant misunderstanding.

The new and more accurate account of what happened goes like this: one of Fitty's boys was using a dressing room, (which as we understand it, was Albert's) to make a phone call. Marv showed up shortly thereafter and because Marv is Marv, Kimmel's security asked the entourage member to leave. What resulted was a "don't put your hands on me" awkward security situation, and apparently nothing involving the NBA announcer.

"I couldn't even tell you what the guy looked like or the security guard looked like," Albert said.

Albert said he even read one account that he was punched by 50 Cent, who was the show's musical guest, but insisted they never crossed paths

"They embellish. It keeps getting embellished more than anything else," Albert said. "What do you say, it's just wrong."

See, this makes a lot more sense; there's really no reason to believe (as I wrote originally) that 50 Cent and his crew would find Marv Albert (Marv!) to be a danger. Unfortunately, it was reported that way.

Now if Albert was worried about his reputation this might be considered a public relations nightmare. Fortunately -- and feel free to correct me if I'm wrong here -- I think we're at the point where we don't consider Albert anything other than a superb NBA announcer with one of the greatest catchphrases of all time.

He's also a guy who has no beef with a rapper. But that should have been obvious.

Marv Albert, 50 Cent Beef Was, Unsurprisingly, Overblown originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Sun, 22 Nov 2009 02:30:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Bill Simmons' Twitter Suspended: ESPN Put in Him in Timeout for 2 Weeks

Will Brinson — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 18:00:00 EST

Filed under: Blogs, ESPN, Sports Media, Current Events, Twitter

Bill Simmons, ESPN's most popular Twitter personality, once shunned the medium but now clocks in at well over 1,000,000 followers. But it looks like he'll be seeing significantly less Twitter action over the next two weeks: he's had his Tweeting privileges yanked by ESPN for some aggressive remarks he made to ESPN-affiliated radio station WEEI in Boston.

Well, kind of -- he's still apparently allowed to tweet about his book tour, which has only one stop remaining in Las Vegas for early December.

You can still see the offending Tweets here and here, but in case Simmons has banned you from following him too, here's what he said:

Hey WEEI: You were wrong, I did a Boston interview today. With your competition. Rather give them ratings over deceitful scumbags like you.

Additionally, Simmons referred to Dennis and Callahan The Big Show with the Big O and Glenn Ordway (update via the comments and this site) as "washed-up athletes" and "fat" while stating that he heard they were bashing him. TBL was asking rhetorical questions (and combing through Tweets) yesterday, and ESPN's Editor-in-Chief Rob King has since confirmed that Simmons has been punished, via this blog post that he linked to on his personal Twitter account.

We have internal guidelines designed to inform how we discuss the topic of sports media. These guidelines are important us, because they help maintain the credibility with which ESPN operates.

No one knows the guidelines better than Bill Simmons, and he customarily works within these standards. He also understands, as does everyone else at ESPN, that we regard these guidelines as being equally important when participating in social media.

While it's unfortunate - and sometimes painful - that not everyone outside of ESPN chooses to play by such rules, we choose to hold ourselves to higher standards. Regardless of the provocation, Bill's communication regarding WEEI fell short of those standards. So we've taken appropriate measures.

Those measures being the two-week suspension, which is kind of like a parent putting their honor roll kid in timeout for 15 minutes because he called a promiscuous female classmate a "strumpet." Or something. The point wasn't that Simmons was being offensive or even rude, it's that ESPN had to take some kind of action, otherwise they were opening the door for other employees to abuse social media and then having to dole out what might be perceived as unfair punishment.

Bill Simmons' Twitter Suspended: ESPN Put in Him in Timeout for 2 Weeks originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Sat, 21 Nov 2009 18:00:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Fox News Channel Hypes Wrong Rivalry: Ohio State vs. Michigan State

Michael David Smith — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 13:00:00 EST

Filed under: Sports Media

It's rivalry week in college football, which means Ohio State will play Michigan on Saturday. But while Michigan students got in the spirit by smashing a car painted in Buckeye colors, Fox News Channel apparently wasn't sure what campus the above video clip came from.

As Media Matters notes, Fox News put a graphic on the screen saying it came from Michigan State. Not quite the same thing, but there are a lot of other storied college football rivalries that Fox News Channel should report on. I look forward to hearing what Fox News has to say about Florida vs. Georgia Tech, Auburn vs. Alabama State, Pittsburgh vs. Virginia, Stanford vs. Cal State-Long Beach, Notre Dame vs. UCLA and Army vs. Coast Guard.

Fox News Channel Hypes Wrong Rivalry: Ohio State vs. Michigan State originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Thu, 19 Nov 2009 13:00:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Please Turn Your Cell Phone Off When Terrell Owens Is Speaking

Michael David Smith — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 10:00:00 EST

Filed under: Sports Media

Buffalo Bills wide receiver Terrell Owens was addressing reporters after Sunday's game when someone's phone started ringing. He didn't seem to like it.

As the video above shows, when Owens heard the ring he turned to his left, glared at the unseen holder of the phone, and said, "Pardon you." He seemed quite offended that someone would interrupt him.

There was a time, maybe 10 years ago, when I felt the same as Owens: It drove me nuts when people's phones would start to ring at inopportune times. But now I actually think our society has changed to the point where Owens is overreacting here.

Yes, the guy should have turned his ringer off before the press conference, but in a world where cell phones are ubiquitous, we all just have to do our best to ignore such things. Owens decided to draw more attention to it than he needed to.

Please Turn Your Cell Phone Off When Terrell Owens Is Speaking originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Mon, 16 Nov 2009 10:00:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Audio Malfunction: Expletive Uttered on the Air After Missed Field Goal

Michael David Smith — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 12:15:00 EST

Filed under: Sports Media

The above video shows the ending of Saturday's Villanova-Richmond game, which was regionally broadcast on Comcast SportsNet. And it includes the microphone picking up someone -- apparently a worker for the TV station -- getting very angry at the missed field goal that sealed Richmond's fate, uttering an expletive on live television.

The Delaware County Times reports:

As play-by-play man Bob Picozzi described the final seconds while an unknown person is overheard saying, "What a bum. Come on, end this (bleeping) game." ...

After a roughly 10-second pause, the same unknown person is heard saying, "Go home, already."

Initially, the comments were thought to have been uttered by Picozzi or color commentator Scott Brunner. However, Colonial Athletic Conference officials quickly dispelled that rumor.

In all likelihood, it was an open microphone in the production truck. Scott Meyer, the director of football communications for the CAA, said the conference was looking into the incident.

Whoever this unseen person in the production truck was, if he's a Richmond fan, I can hardly blame him for uttering an obscenity after a missed field goal -- I've uttered a few obscenities after a few missed field goals myself. But everyone who works in TV needs to know a simple rule: If there's a microphone near you, don't swear.

Video via Fang's Bites.

Audio Malfunction: Expletive Uttered on the Air After Missed Field Goal originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Mon, 09 Nov 2009 12:15:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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The Onion and Comedy Central Join Forces for a Satirical Sports Show

Will Brinson — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 14:20:00 EST

Filed under: Blogs, TV and Movies, Sports Media

Comedy Central and The Onion have long dominated their respective venues in terms of satirizing the tar out of the general news. There has been, however, a distinctively awkward void in the world of sports -- Versus attempted to fill this with their production of "Sports Soup" but when the best moment of that show includes Brandon Marshall hosting, well, it's pretty much doomed.

But it seems as if the humorous basic cable take on sports that we have all pined longingly for is about to emerge: CC and The Onion are joining forces to create a show. And, yeah, if you didn't just scream, "HOLY YES!" then you're a total, well, um, something.

The as-yet untitled series will take on the whole universe of modern sports - teams, players, leagues, sycophantic fans, ridiculous products and over-hyped sports coverage - with an eye towards appealing to sports fanatics and more casual fans, as well as long-time followers of The Onion and The Onion News Network.

[...]"Get ready for the most intense sports coverage humanity has yet witnessed," [director Will] Graham said. "We won't rest until you're perched in front of your TV, shouting in breathless excitement, neglecting your loved ones and your job because you are so completely addicted to our sports coverage."

Now, here's where I would like to make a really funny and satirical joke and hope that the Onion/CC would pay enough attention to my post in order to email me and hire me away from this wonderful place and write funny jokes about sports that would appear on the teevee and make me famous enough to hang out with that hysterical guy Tosh Oh. He's funny.

But that probably won't happen, and besides, the Yankees winning the World Series last night already caused my heart and funny bone to spontaneously combust, so I'm not even feeling that humerous. (See???)

On the bright side, my liver's still working, so join with me, local area men of semi-ill repute, and celebrate the second greatest comedy-sports union of November so far, because this truly is a great day: we will finally have a syndicated sports-humor combination that's worth DVR'ing. At least until Rupert Murdoch buys it and then cancels it anyway.

The Onion and Comedy Central Join Forces for a Satirical Sports Show originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Thu, 05 Nov 2009 14:20:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Colbert Nation Raises $40,000 Overnight As New US Speedskating Sponsor

Will Brinson — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 10:00:00 EST

Filed under: International Olympics, TV and Movies, Winter Sports, Sports Media, Figure Skating

Stephen Colbert announced -- in case you missed it or thought it was fake like his Republican-y shtick-- on Monday night that Colbert Nation would become the new primary sponsor of the US speedskating team for the Winter Olympics.

Colbert jumped in because, as is happening all over the country, the former main sponsor for the speedskating team, DSB Bank NV, a bank of sorts, had to back out of their sponsorship. (Oddly, banks aren't doing well right now in this fantastic financial time.)

But you know who apparently is doing well? Colbert Nation -- Stephen announced on Tuesday night's show that, despite Canadian hackers allegedly going after the donation link, on the first evening of sponsorship, his viewers had raised over $40,000 (!!) to back up the speedskating team. Moving picture happy funtime after the jump.

Now, $40,000 obviously isn't going to cover the cost for the team through the Olympics, but the fact that Colbert has the pull to generate that much cash almost instantly is beyond amazing; he hosts a political opinion show on Comedy Central! (Not that I'm saying that's bad -- I watch every night, it's just incredible.)

The Colbert Report

Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Canadian Hackers Sabotage Colbert Nation

www.colbertnation.com

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Colbert Nation Raises $40,000 Overnight As New US Speedskating Sponsor originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Wed, 04 Nov 2009 10:00:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Jim Nantz Must Pay $1 Million a Year in Alimony, Child Support

Michael David Smith — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 11:45:00 EST

Filed under: Sports Media

CBS sportscaster Jim Nantz has been ordered to pay alimony and child support totaling nearly $1 million a year in a divorce case that the judge ruled was the fault of neither Nantz nor his wife of 26 years, Lorrie.

Nantz, who makes about $7 million a year, was ordered to pay Lorrie $72,000 a month in alimony until either he dies or she remarries, the Connecticut Post reports. Lorrie will keep their six-bedroom home and the condo occupied by her mother, and Nantz must pay $70,000 a year for her to have a country club membership.

For their 15-year-old daughter, Nantz must pay $1,000 a week in child support and all of her college expenses until she turns 23. The total support comes to about half a million dollars a year less than Lorrie was seeking in the divorce.

Nantz admitted that he has a 29-year-old girlfriend, but the judge said that relationship wasn't the reason for the divorce. Judge Howard Owens' ruling stated, in part:

"While there was some testimony of the husband's interest in another woman in the few short months preceding the filing of this dissolution action, the breakdown occurred years before this relationship developed and the court finds this remote event in no way contributed to the breakdown of the marriage. ... The court finds neither party at fault for the breakdown of the marriage."

Nantz and his wife both became emotional during testimony about their divorce, with Lorrie saying he had been distant and Nantz saying she had failed to support his career. After both cried during a difficult day of court testimony, the two were seen hugging outside the courtroom. But with Judge Owens' ruling, their marriage is officially over.

Follow sports? Follow me on Twitter @MichaelDavSmith.

Jim Nantz Must Pay $1 Million a Year in Alimony, Child Support originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Tue, 03 Nov 2009 11:45:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Gus Johnson on Chris Johnson: 'He's Got Gettin' Away From the Cops Speed'

Will Brinson — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 14:16:00 EST

Filed under: Blogs, Sports Media, Current Events, NFL

Is it all the rage to make silly comments in the announcing booth these days? Because, between Bob Griese's taco pop and what Gus Johnson dropped on Sunday, well, it sure seems like announcers are becoming less aware of what they say these days.

Oh, you didn't hear what Gus dropped as Tennessee's Chris Johnson was ripping off a long touchdown run? How about: "First down and 10. Johnson ... gets his shoulders square! Watch out! He's got gettin' away from the cops speed! Touchdown!" Emphasis there was mine (as much as it can be with Mr. Johnson, anyway) and sure, he's got a pretty good reason to think that CJ might be running from the cops -- after all, the Titans running back did attend ECU (I kid, I kid). But my pro-Wolfpack biases aside, if Gus happens to be -- as Brian Powell pointed out -- say, Jim Nantz, this probably doesn't go over quite as well.

Vid after the jump, natch.

Gus Johnson on Chris Johnson: 'He's Got Gettin' Away From the Cops Speed' originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Mon, 02 Nov 2009 14:16:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Bill Simmons Appears on Colbert Report

Will Brinson — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 11:00:00 EST

Filed under: Blogs, ESPN, TV and Movies, Sports Media

Bill Simmons is becoming like Brett Favre in the sense that ESPN is shoving him down our throats.

(Except in Simmons' case, it's for his new book, not for his annual coming-out-of-retirement announcement. Unlike Simmons, however, Favre doesn't block random bloggers from following his Twitter account. Moving on...)

And last night he landed on the Colbert Report to talk about his new 700-page basketball book with the world's favorite "fundit."

What resulted was a pretty fantastic interview, particularly when you consider that Simmons managed to stop Colbert in his Air-Bud-mentioning tracks with an "I've got two pages comparing Teen Wolf to Kobe Bryant" line. You could even tell that Colbert was asking if that was real as they cut away, and he somehow managed to let the interview run long, which almost never happens.

The Colbert Report

Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

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www.colbertnation.com

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Now, I know that he's doing most of these public appearances simply for book publicity, but having seen Simmons on television roughly 8,432 times in the last week, I'm going to go ahead and refuse to stop stating that ESPN will -- after he gets some post-book-tour rest -- give him his own show on ESPN Boston.

Bill Simmons Appears on Colbert Report originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Fri, 30 Oct 2009 11:00:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Limbaugh Calls Goodell 'Total Weasel,' Would Like to Have Beer With McNabb

Ryan Wilson — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 17:15:00 EST

Filed under: ESPN, Sports Media, NFL

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell was on the Hill Wednesday talking to Congress about "Legal Issues Relating to Football Head Injuries." So, naturally, Rep. Steve King (R-Iowa) used the forum as an opportunity to grill Goodell about Rush Limbaugh's interest in becoming part owner of the St. Louis Rams.

Video after the jump, but here's all you need to know: After King warmly welcomed the commissioner he got right down to business.

"...Your position on owners have the right image, and I would direct it to your statement on the 13th of October where you said, 'I think it's divisive comments, or they are not what the NFL is all about. I would not want to see those kinds of comments from people who are in responsible positions within the NFL, no, absolutely not.' Now, I take you as a man of your word. But I would point out that you have a couple of owners that have performed lyrics in songs that are far more offensive. In fact, I don't think anything that Rush Limbaugh said was offensive, but with Fergie and with J. Lo, they have, between the two of them, alleged that the CIA are terrorists and liars, they've promoted sexual abuse of women, they've used the N-word, verbal pornography, recreational drug use, et cetera, and they are owners of the Dolphins..."

Goodell, whose father was a U.S. Senator (and a Republican!), is a savvy politician, but he seemed blindsided by the question. He did manage to defend Donovan McNabb's honor against the evils of Limbaugh ("I think Donovan McNabb is an outstanding young man. He's an outstanding quarterback, and it has nothing to do with the color of his skin..."), which prompted Limbaugh to respond on his radio show.

Of course, Goodell's a total weasel. He had no answer about the Dolphins' owners so wouldn't even address the question, and he got on his high horse about how McNabb is a fine player and a fine person and it has nothing to do with the color of his skin, when I (a) never said he was not a fine person; (b) never said he was a bad QB -- just that he was overrated (which no one should deny); and (c) said the MEDIA was obsessed with the color of his skin (which is also undeniable), not that I was.

I respect Donovan McNabb, as I do all the elite athletes qualified to play in the NFL. I'd love to have a beer with him and discuss football. My job on the ESPN pre-game show was to disagree with the panel when I did. The production meeting the day before the show featured two segments on McNabb and the Eagles. The focus of BOTH segments was, "What's wrong with McNabb?" My thought was that not that much was wrong, that the Eagles defense was not getting sufficient credit, and that I thought the media was hyping McNabb for my stated reasons.

Yes, a beer. That would fix everything. Maybe invite Bart Scott and Mathias Kiwanuka, too.

via sportsBYbrooks

Limbaugh Calls Goodell 'Total Weasel,' Would Like to Have Beer With McNabb originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Thu, 29 Oct 2009 17:15:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Bill Simmons' Book Can Stop A Bullet

Bruce Ciskie — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 11:00:00 EST

Filed under: ESPN, Sports Media

In case you've had your head under a rock the last couple weeks, ESPN columnist Bill Simmons has a new book out. The Book of Basketball is some 700 pages, which makes it quite a large (and expensive) read.

Since this is kind of a big deal for Simmons, he's been all over the place promoting the book. Besides his tour and an bit with Kenny Mayne that Mike Francesa didn't like, Simmons also stopped by ESPN2's SportsNation Wednesday afternoon. It was there that his book was put through a rather, um, unique test.

Not sure how I'd feel if I had to sit on a television show while someone shot a bullet through my book. Then again, if the book was actually thick enough to stop it, perhaps it's something worth shouting to the world.

Bill Simmons' Book Can Stop A Bullet originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Thu, 29 Oct 2009 11:00:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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'Funeral 4 Favre': One Green Bay Radio Station's Way of Saying, 'Thanks!'

Will Brinson — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 14:30:00 EST

Filed under: Sports Media, Current Events, NFL

Or perhaps not ...

This Sunday, Brett Favre returns to Lambeau Field for the first time as a member of the Vikings. For many (read: all) Packers fans, this will be a bit of a tough pill to swallow. However, 105.7 WAPL (The Rockin' Apple, y'all!) in Green Bay would just as soon not deal with "emotions" or "reality."

Instead, they're just going to "kill" Favre.

Kind of, anyway -- they've got a "Funeral 4 Favre" planned from Oct. 30 through Nov. 1, and frankly, it sounds like quite the party.

Rick and Len will broadcast live, 3-6pm on Friday, October 30th from Tom, Dick, and Harry's in Green Bay for the funeral. Then the coffin will "lie in state" through the weekend and up to WAPL's Rockin' Apple Red Zone party on Sunday, November 1st. We're holding the funeral... it's up to the Green and Gold to bury him on Sunday.

But wait! There's more! Including: an actual funeral procession to Tom, Dick and Harry's (a bar in Greenville) with a custom No. 4 hearse, a dummy body dressed in Wranglers, eulogies from fans and radio hosts while playing Candle in the Wind, "disposal" of old Favre memorabilia and an Aaron Rodgers giveaway (shirts, jerseys and whatnot; not the actual person).

Most importantly though, the radio station wants all Green Bay-area folk to build up enough vitriol through this not-exactly-helpful process (enthusiastically burying a fake body while imbibing gallons of beer is a recipe for angry fans before the game) to boo the living tar out of Favre when he steps on the field. At least that's what I'm assuming, anyway.

Or maybe it's just a publicity stunt; after all, Len Nelson -- one of the hosts -- landed an appearance on First and 10 today (video above). But then again, maybe Packers fans really need this. And after all, it's a semi-amusing anecdote that takes away from all the "actual analysis" about him just "being a kid out there" and "loving the game" for a few minutes, so, stunt or no, I'm willing to play along.

'Funeral 4 Favre': One Green Bay Radio Station's Way of Saying, 'Thanks!' originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Wed, 28 Oct 2009 14:30:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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The FanHouse Intern on the Bill Simmons Book Tour

Michael Katz — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 14:00:00 EST

Filed under: ESPN, Sports Media

WASHINGTON -- No one covers book signings. There is probably a reason for this. But with the second Bill Simmons book tour commencing in Washington on Monday, it seemed like a good enough idea. At the least, 15-year-old, Page 2-gobbling me would be quite delighted.

I called a friend of mine to inform him of my ever-bloggable plan. "You mean like Deadspin did for his first tour?" came the reply. Pause. Google search. Well, then.

Despite this inauspicious start, I buckled up and headed out with another buddy. The Sports Guy was waiting.

As we approached ESPN Zone, a man walked out sporting a green "Believe in Boston" T-Shirt and Sox cap. Yup, we were at the right place. Stepping in, we were met by a wall of people, which funneled into somewhat of a line toward the front. We walked past.

Inside, Simmons was milling around, waiting to cut the ribbon on the Book of Basketball. He typed voraciously on his cell. It was now past the scheduled start time. I cursed my parents for not blessing me with an iPhone. What was he tweeting? Well, apparently this:

Simmons had his game face on. The champ waiting to face down an endless line of adoring fans, armed only with six pens. I counted.

I was sitting with a friend at a table a short distance away, scheming on how to cut the absurd line that continued to swell on the other side of the main floor. This was a Harry Potter opening with Celtics jerseys in lieu of wizard cloaks. I was beginning to doubt that I'd ever meet my once and former sportswriting idol.

Then, I got a text. It was my lady. "Good luck at the book signing! You'll be great!" Inspiration! That'll make for a decent anecdote, I thought. Then I got up, walked over to Simmons, and shook his hand. "I'm Mike Katz, FanHouse intern. Mind if I stick my Flip Cam in your face for a minute?"

This was the wrong question. Now, I'm writing from memory, but what followed was approximately this conversation:

"Can't do any video on the tour, ESPN rules," Simmons said.

"Really?"

"Yeah, you don't know who you can trust," he continued. "You seem trustworthy, but still."

"I'm a nice guy," I said. "Look, I wear glasses. Nice guys wear glasses."

"Yeah, just can't be sure. Don't want anything in the wrong hands."

I looked down at my hands. They looked OK to me.

We continued to talk for a few minutes until the Redskins lined up for an onside kick in the waning minutes of the Monday Night Football game. Simmons had the Eagles, and was more interested in his money than he was me. Understandable.

He wished me luck in my career. I walked back to my seat thinking, "Well, I've met Bill Simmons. Now I can die in peace."

But the night was not done. After careful scoping of the premises, and eying of the security guards, my friend and I were able to cut all but twenty or so people in line. Heroic effort.

I paid the $30 for the book (ed. note: JESUS!), and sighed as the man behind the table forked it over.

"It's heavy," I exclaimed.

"Ha ha, I guess it is heaven," he replied. Sure. Same difference.

Soon it was time to get the book signed. I asked Simmons if he could write a doctors' note to my FanHouse bosses, excusing me for not having any video. He chuckled (score!) and obliged.

Michael Katz is a senior journalism major at the University of Maryland and childhood worshiper at the Temple of Simmons. He is also in the running for FanHouse Intern of the Year.

The FanHouse Intern on the Bill Simmons Book Tour originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Wed, 28 Oct 2009 14:00:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Bill Simmons' Mansion Makes Mike Francesa Very Unhappy

Ryan Wilson — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 12:00:00 EST

Filed under: Blogs, ESPN, Sports Media, Twitter

ESPN.com's Bill Simmons is currently on his book tour (more on that here), but on Monday, he and his Beverly Hills mansion were featured on "Mayne Street."

Kenny Mayne has made a career out of his deadpanned quirkiness. That, along with the fact that Simmons doesn't have much of an acting resume, figured to make for an uncomfortable four or five minutes that included me wincing as Simmons stumbled through his lines while Mayne got all the laughs.

Didn't happen. In fact, Simmons stole the episode. Jenn with two n's, the Doug Christie Clippers jersey, Stacy Keibler calling Mayne "Lenny", business associate Scott -- all hilarious. Well, to everybody but Mike Francesa, who was railing about Simmons' performance on his radio show.

(UPDATE: "Mayne Street" segment, Francesa's comments,and Simmons' response all after the jump.)

Via Hot Clicks' Jimmy Traina's Twitter feed:

Just thinking out loud here, but I'm pretty sure that's not really Simmons' mansion. I thought the 50,000 square feet would be a dead giveaway. Or the two girls in bikinis obsessively offering to make out with each other as Simmons' ordered them to fill up the mud pit and "use the good stuff." Then again, maybe I'm just being naïve.

Whatever, Simmons responded via Twitter:

Or just explain to Francesa that the segment was a joke. You know, because he's a funny blogger.

Bill Simmons' Mansion Makes Mike Francesa Very Unhappy originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Wed, 28 Oct 2009 12:00:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Mike Tirico Survives Mosquito Attack

Ryan Wilson — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 16:00:00 EST

Filed under: ESPN, Sports Media, NFL

I'm not a Redskins or Eagles fan, but I watched the Monday Night Football telecast because, like most people, I wanted to see how a guy who was calling bingo games a month ago might do as a play-caller. Turns out, better than you might think. But as ESPN's Ron Jaworski reminded us every 15 seconds: IT'S MORE ABOUT THE EXECUTION THAN THE PLAY CALL.

Duly noted, sir.

Anyway, as Jaws, Jon Gruden and Mike Tirico came on the air to preview the game, I noticed what looked like a fly on Tirico's head. And thanks to Hot Clicks, that was apparently the case.

Video after the jump.

That's some fancy camera work there. More impressive: Tirico's resolve in the face of a lone mosquito attack. On national television, no less. Unlike, a common house fly or a gnat, mosquitos actually bite, and that usually triggers a reflex in the victim to do something about it. That Tirico was able to not slap himself in the head is a testament to his professionalism.

Finally, some good news out of Bristol.

Mike Tirico Survives Mosquito Attack originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Tue, 27 Oct 2009 16:00:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Jim Zorn Loses Dignity, 'Skins Play-Calling to Be Logistical Nightmare

Ryan Wilson — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 15:00:00 EST

Filed under: Sports Media, NFL

We can add Bill Cowher's name to the litany of folks who have weighed in on the Jim Zorn situation in Washington. After the 'Skins lost to the then-winless Chiefs last Sunday, Zorn's tenure in DC was pretty much done -- except that Assistant to the Traveling Secretary Vinny Cerrato went on the radio to proclaim that Zorn's job would be safe through the end of the season.

His job description would change, however. Sure, owner Dan Snyder brought in Zorn specifically because of his ability to develop quarterbacks and put together an offensive game plan, but now, 21 games into his first head-coaching gig, Zorn would have to give up play-calling duties to Bingo Grand Master Sherm Lewis.

During Sunday's CBS pregame show, former Steelers head coach Bill Cowher was not impressed. Via Newsday's Neil Best:

"He lost his dignity and he lost his credibility. To me, he lost his ability to be a head coach and lead this football team. He's nothing more than a figure head right now."

Yikes.

It gets worse, though. In an effort to make Having Lewis call the plays will be a logistical nightmare. Via Mr. Irrelevant (via WaPo):

A detailed look at the Skins play-calling process: 1) Sherm Lewis calls plays from the booth. 2) Sherm Smith relays plays from the sideline. 3) Jason Campbell receives plays on the field. 4) Jim Zorn resists the "temptation of overriding when necessary." He actually said that, this is actually happening and it actually debuts against Philly on Monday Night Football.

There's a fantastic chance the Redskins use up all their timeouts in the first series just trying to get the play in. And then we'll be regaled with countless delay-of-game penalties for the rest of the evening. Monday night could break the 'Skins' FAIL-O-METER.

Jim Zorn Loses Dignity, 'Skins Play-Calling to Be Logistical Nightmare originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Mon, 26 Oct 2009 15:00:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Brooke Hundley Out at ESPN After Steve Phillips Affair

Ryan Wilson — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 13:00:00 EST

Filed under: ESPN, Sports Media, MLB

In less than a week, the news of the Steve Phillips-Brooke Hundley affair broke, ESPN issued a public statement on the matter, and today both Phillips and Hundley no longer work at the World Wide Leader.

Via the Associated Press: "An ESPN spokesman says the production assistant whose affair with Steve Phillips led to the baseball analyst's firing is no longer with the sports network.

Spokesman Mike Soltys said Monday that Brooke Hundley doesn't work at ESPN anymore. He declined to say whether she quit or was fired. Hundley did not immediately return a phone message Monday."

Related: ESPN Fires Phillips | ESPN Addresses Phillips Affair
ESPN/Deadspin Legal Issues

According to her cached LinkedIn.com page, Hundley, a 2008 Ithaca College graduate, interned at HBO, and "Jimmy Kimmel Live", and served as a production assistant for NBC during the 2008 Summer Olympics before landing at ESPN in September, 2008.

Meanwhile, a representative for Phillips announced that the former Mets general manager was entering a treatment facility "to address his personal issues."

Brooke Hundley Out at ESPN After Steve Phillips Affair originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Mon, 26 Oct 2009 13:00:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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