Back Porch Strongman

Jay Cutler won the Mr. Olympia bodybuilding competition on Saturday night, earning the highest accolade in professional bodybuilding for the third time in his career.

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Fourteen years of age is very, very young to be a champion at anything. Especially so if it's weightlifting. And even moreso, all stereotyping aside, for a female. But Zoe Smith, a young lady (lass?) from Britain, is casting aside all preconceived notions and generally shattering every female British weightlifting record in sight.

The schoolgirl set 98 British records last year and has her sights set on competing at the London Olympics in 2012.

And she has now been voted "Athlete of the Year" in her sport by the British Olympic Association.

The title is usually reserved for Olympic medallists, but she was handed the award after taking gold at the Commonwealth Youth Games in Pune, India.

She did so, because, as you can read above, she broke NINETY-EIGHT records last year. That were held by tons of people in ONE COUNTRY. Do you realize how good she must be? And do you realize how insane shattering 98 records of anything is? And can I stop using capitals now?

The best part of all this, though, is that Zoe is humble as all get out -- she nearly declined to mention the award to anyone because she thought that it might be a "mistake." As to whether she can make female weightlifting a "darling sport" (a la figure skating, gymnastics, etc.) at the next Olympic Games, well, that might be an even tougher task. But it sure seems like if anyone can do it, it's her.

The annual World's Strongest Man competition took place over the weekend in West Virginia, and it all came down to the Atlas Stones. Here's the thrilling conclusion, with Poland's Mariusz Pudzianowski taking on the American Derek Poundstone:

Pudzianowski was declared World's Strongest Man for a record fifth time, with Poundstone, a Connecticut police officer, coming in second. The event is scheduled to be shown in December on ESPN.

60 Minutes re-ran a segment about the preacher Joel Osteen today, and the part at the end of this five-minute clip caught my eye:

Said 60 Minutes correspondent Byron Pitts, without a trace of skepticism in his voice, "Osteen can bench press 300 pounds -- that's twice his bodyweight."

Finding that claim extremely hard to believe, I googled around a little bit and found that when the 60 Minutes segment on Osteen first ran, several fitness experts found it hard to believe as well.

In what is sure to be a thrilling IMAX movie educating thousands upon thousands of school children in between trips to Lazer Floyd, Old-Time Strongman enthusiast Steve Jeck brings us the stories of the stones that changed the world. These stones, and their stories, are presented as the true measuring sticks of manhood throughout civilization's history. Be sure to explore the rest of OldStrongman.com to unravel the other mysteries of the strongman ways. We just have to know where to get those awesome triangular weights.

The television station KNDO in Yakima, Washington reports that Ryan Kennelly of Moses Lake, Washington, bench pressed 1,050 pounds at the American Powerlifting Association's Northwest Open on Saturday. Here's the video:

As you can see, bench pressing at American Powerlifting Association competitions looks a little different from bench pressing at your local gym.

Kennelly, who tips the scales at 347 pounds, broke his own world record of 1,036 pounds. Later in the meet, he unsuccessfully attempted 1,105 pounds.

Yesterday I was the subject of much derision at bodybuilding.com because of something I wrote early this month about Ronnie Coleman, one of the greatest bodybuilders in history.

What's interesting is that I wrote nothing negative at all about bodybuilding. I like bodybuilding. I'm in that minority of people who think Rachael Grice, the woman you see on the right, looks great. I admire and envy people who have that kind of muscle.

I also wrote nothing negative at all about steroids, although the people at the bodybuilding.com forum seem to think I did. For the record, I think our society pays far too much attention to steroids. I think it's absurd that the president of the United States actually thought steroids in sports were an important enough problem to be mentioned during the State of the Union. I've written before that I don't want my tax dollars investigating the steroid use of Marion Jones.

Have you ever seen a 300-pound 43-year-old man in a Speedo? If not, you should watch this video:

That's Ronnie Coleman, generally recognized as the greatest bodybuilder in history, though now he's a little past his prime, and the speech he was giving was his official goodbye.

Coleman was cheered at the Mr. Olympia competition, and he told his fans that God has a plan for all their lives. I wonder if God's plan is for all those fans to get freakishly huge by using steroids. Coleman is one of the athletes wrapped up in the investigation of an internet pharmacy that illegally distributed performance-enhancing drugs. He has also been linked to Balco.

Steroid testing has become commonplace in sports, but here's a novel idea for a way to determine whether an athlete is using steroids besides getting a urine sample: Make him take a polygraph.

Each competitor in the British Natural Bodybuilding Championships in Edinburgh has taken a lie detector test.

The winners of the contest will still have to take conventional drug tests and there will also be random sampling.

Organisers and competitors said the lie detector tests proved that the issue of drug abuse and cheating was being taken seriously.

I find it hard to believe that lie detectors are going to catch any cheaters that conventional drug tests wouldn't have caught, but this approach is worth keeping an eye on. Maybe a polygraph will get one of the bodybuilders to break down and confess, the way it got Jerry to confess to watching Melrose Place.

Hat tip: Fark.

The Mr. Olympia competition is back in Las Vegas this weekend, and if you're not sure what the Mr. Olympia competition looks like, it looks like a bunch of ridiculously muscular men on a stage:

Three fun facts about Mr. Olympia:
1. Jay Cutler is the two-time defending champion. Not the Jay Cutler who plays for the Broncos. Just a coincidence that the world's best bodybuilder and the Denver Broncos' quarterback share a name.

2. Ronnie Coleman and Lee Haney share the record for most Mr. Olympia titles, with eight apiece

3. Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger (R-Calif.) won the competition seven times: Every year from 1970 to 1975, and again in 1980.