Back Porch FanHouse http://backporch.fanhouse.com Back Porch FanHouse http://www.blogsmithmedia.com/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/media/feedlogo.gif Back Porch FanHouse http://backporch.fanhouse.com en-us Copyright 2009 Weblogs, Inc. The contents of this feed are available for non-commercial use only. Blogsmith http://www.blogsmith.com/O.J. Simpson as The Terminator?http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/11/23/o-j-simpson-as-the-terminator/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/11/23/o-j-simpson-as-the-terminator/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/11/23/o-j-simpson-as-the-terminator/#commentsFiled under:



When director James Cameron made the first Terminator movie, he cast an ex-bodybuilder who would later go on to become the governor of California, a guy by the name of Arnold Schwarzenegger. But if the guy calling the shots at the studio had gotten his way, a very different ex-athlete who would later go on to a very different kind of fame in California would have been The Terminator: O.J. Simpson.

Cameron revealed on Sunday's 60 Minutes that he had to persuade the studio boss not to cast the Juice in the role.

"The head of Orion, who were going to release the film, called me up and said, 'Are you sitting down? I've cast this movie. ... It's O.J. Simpson for The Terminator,'" Cameron recalled.

So how did the director take the suggestion?

"I said, 'This is the stupidest idea I've ever heard,'" Cameron said, adding, "I didn't know O.J. Simpson, I had nothing against him personally. I didn't know he was going to go murder his wife later and become a real Terminator."

I'd have to say Cameron probably made the right move in putting his foot down on the O.J. thing. And I'd have to say I'm not surprised that Orion later went bankrupt.

Follow sports? Follow me on Twitter @MichaelDavSmith.

O.J. Simpson as The Terminator? originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Mon, 23 Nov 2009 10:00:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

 

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]]>Arnold SchwarzeneggerArnoldSchwarzeneggerO.J. SimpsonO.j.SimpsonMichael David SmithMon, 23 Nov 2009 10:00:00 EST Roger Goodell Talks About Movies, Crying, and Bud Adams' Middle Fingerhttp://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/11/18/roger-goodell-talks-about-movies-crying-and-bud-adams-middle/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/11/18/roger-goodell-talks-about-movies-crying-and-bud-adams-middle/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/11/18/roger-goodell-talks-about-movies-crying-and-bud-adams-middle/#commentsFiled under: ,

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell isn't known for his sense of humor. Or his ability to smile. Or for doing much else outside of handing down fines to stifle would-be celebrators, both players and owners.

But Brad Blanks caught up with Goodell at the Blind Side premiere, and the commish appeared to be in good spirits.

Video proof after the jump.



In addition to agreeing that Waterboy was one of his favorite football movies, Goodell also talked candidly about Titans owner Bud Adams' "double-barreled" salute to the Bills last Sunday.

Having a guy with a British accent asking the questions somehow makes the whole experience much less obnoxious.

Oh, and in news that's sure to make Rex Ryan all weepy, Rog says that he "cries all the time at movies." Adam Carolla is not impressed.

via NFLprguy's Twitter feed

Roger Goodell Talks About Movies, Crying, and Bud Adams' Middle Finger originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Wed, 18 Nov 2009 14:00:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

 

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]]>Bud AdamsBudAdamsRex RyanRexRyanRoger GoodellRogerGoodellRyan WilsonWed, 18 Nov 2009 14:00:00 EST Bud Adams Becomes a Letterman Punchline, Top 10 Signs Owner Is Nutshttp://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/11/18/bud-adams-becomes-a-letterman-punchline-top-10-signs-owner-is-n/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/11/18/bud-adams-becomes-a-letterman-punchline-top-10-signs-owner-is-n/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/11/18/bud-adams-becomes-a-letterman-punchline-top-10-signs-owner-is-n/#commentsFiled under:



Tennessee Titans owner Bud Adams was fined $250,000 for flipping a double bird at Buffalo Bills fans on Sunday, but that's nothing compared to the infamy of being ridiculed by David Letterman.

Letterman made Adams the centerpiece of his Top 10 list on Tuesday night's show, with the subject, "Top Ten Signs Your NFL Team Owner Is Nuts."

My favorite: "Asked owner of Detroit Lions for tips on being a winner." I laugh so I don't cry.

Bud Adams Becomes a Letterman Punchline, Top 10 Signs Owner Is Nuts originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Wed, 18 Nov 2009 10:30:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

 

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]]>Bud AdamsBudAdamsDavid LettermanDavidLettermanMichael David SmithWed, 18 Nov 2009 10:30:00 EST 15 Years Later, 'Hoop Dreams' Is 'The Great American Documentary'http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/11/06/15-years-later-hoop-dreams-is-the-great-american-documentary/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/11/06/15-years-later-hoop-dreams-is-the-great-american-documentary/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/11/06/15-years-later-hoop-dreams-is-the-great-american-documentary/#commentsFiled under:



Hoop Dreams was a simple, low-budget documentary about two high school basketball players in Chicago. But on the 15th anniversary of the film's release, Roger Ebert is hailing it as the great American documentary.



Ebert writes:
Today, fifteen years after I first saw it, I believe "Hoop Dreams" is the great American documentary. No other documentary has ever touched me more deeply. It was relevant then, and today, as inner city neighborhoods sink deeper into the despair of children murdering children, it is more relevant. It tells the stories of two 14-year-olds, Arthur Agee and William Gates, how they dreamed of stardom in the NBA, and how basketball changed their lives. Basketball, and this film.
Ebert and Gene Siskel played an enormous role in ensuring that Hoop Dreams would reach the audience it deserved, and Ebert obviously takes a great deal of pride both in the film and in the fact that its subjects, Gates and Agee, have led successful lives even though they didn't achieve their dreams of becoming NBA players.

Hoop Dreams can be watched in full online. If you haven't seen it, do yourself a favor and watch it. There's never been a better sports movie.

15 Years Later, 'Hoop Dreams' Is 'The Great American Documentary' originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Fri, 06 Nov 2009 09:00:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

 

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]]>Michael David SmithFri, 06 Nov 2009 09:00:00 EST The Onion and Comedy Central Join Forces for a Satirical Sports Showhttp://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/11/05/the-onion-and-comedy-central-join-forces-for-a-satirical-sports/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/11/05/the-onion-and-comedy-central-join-forces-for-a-satirical-sports/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/11/05/the-onion-and-comedy-central-join-forces-for-a-satirical-sports/#commentsFiled under: , ,

Comedy Central and The Onion have long dominated their respective venues in terms of satirizing the tar out of the general news. There has been, however, a distinctively awkward void in the world of sports -- Versus attempted to fill this with their production of "Sports Soup" but when the best moment of that show includes Brandon Marshall hosting, well, it's pretty much doomed.

But it seems as if the humorous basic cable take on sports that we have all pined longingly for is about to emerge: CC and The Onion are joining forces to create a show. And, yeah, if you didn't just scream, "HOLY YES!" then you're a total, well, um, something.
The as-yet untitled series will take on the whole universe of modern sports - teams, players, leagues, sycophantic fans, ridiculous products and over-hyped sports coverage - with an eye towards appealing to sports fanatics and more casual fans, as well as long-time followers of The Onion and The Onion News Network.

[...]"Get ready for the most intense sports coverage humanity has yet witnessed," [director Will] Graham said. "We won't rest until you're perched in front of your TV, shouting in breathless excitement, neglecting your loved ones and your job because you are so completely addicted to our sports coverage."
Now, here's where I would like to make a really funny and satirical joke and hope that the Onion/CC would pay enough attention to my post in order to email me and hire me away from this wonderful place and write funny jokes about sports that would appear on the teevee and make me famous enough to hang out with that hysterical guy Tosh Oh. He's funny.

But that probably won't happen, and besides, the Yankees winning the World Series last night already caused my heart and funny bone to spontaneously combust, so I'm not even feeling that humerous. (See???)

On the bright side, my liver's still working, so join with me, local area men of semi-ill repute, and celebrate the second greatest comedy-sports union of November so far, because this truly is a great day: we will finally have a syndicated sports-humor combination that's worth DVR'ing. At least until Rupert Murdoch buys it and then cancels it anyway.

The Onion and Comedy Central Join Forces for a Satirical Sports Show originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Thu, 05 Nov 2009 14:20:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

 

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]]>Will BrinsonThu, 05 Nov 2009 14:20:00 EST Colbert Nation Raises $40,000 Overnight As New US Speedskating Sponsorhttp://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/11/04/colbert-nation-raises-40-000-overnight-as-new-primary-sponsor-o/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/11/04/colbert-nation-raises-40-000-overnight-as-new-primary-sponsor-o/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/11/04/colbert-nation-raises-40-000-overnight-as-new-primary-sponsor-o/#commentsFiled under: , , , ,

Stephen Colbert announced -- in case you missed it or thought it was fake like his Republican-y shtick-- on Monday night that Colbert Nation would become the new primary sponsor of the US speedskating team for the Winter Olympics.

Colbert jumped in because, as is happening all over the country, the former main sponsor for the speedskating team, DSB Bank NV, a bank of sorts, had to back out of their sponsorship. (Oddly, banks aren't doing well right now in this fantastic financial time.)

But you know who apparently is doing well? Colbert Nation -- Stephen announced on Tuesday night's show that, despite Canadian hackers allegedly going after the donation link, on the first evening of sponsorship, his viewers had raised over $40,000 (!!) to back up the speedskating team. Moving picture happy funtime after the jump.

Now, $40,000 obviously isn't going to cover the cost for the team through the Olympics, but the fact that Colbert has the pull to generate that much cash almost instantly is beyond amazing; he hosts a political opinion show on Comedy Central! (Not that I'm saying that's bad -- I watch every night, it's just incredible.)

The Colbert Report Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Canadian Hackers Sabotage Colbert Nation
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor U.S. Speedskating

Colbert Nation Raises $40,000 Overnight As New US Speedskating Sponsor originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Wed, 04 Nov 2009 10:00:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

 

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]]>Will BrinsonWed, 04 Nov 2009 10:00:00 EST Brian Tribble, Friend of Len Bias, Works to Rehabilitate His Imagehttp://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/11/03/brian-tribble-friend-of-len-bias-works-to-rehabilitate-his-ima/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/11/03/brian-tribble-friend-of-len-bias-works-to-rehabilitate-his-ima/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/11/03/brian-tribble-friend-of-len-bias-works-to-rehabilitate-his-ima/#commentsFiled under: ,



One of the fascinating things about Without Bias, the ESPN documentary about Len Bias that debuts Tuesday night (review here), is the frank, matter-of-fact way that Bias's friend Brian Tribble talks about the night that Bias died. Some people said Tribble killed Bias by providing him with the cocaine that he overdosed on, but Tribble was acquitted when he went on trial for charges relating to Bias's death. Now, nearly a quarter of a century later, later, Tribble talks openly about that night.

Tribble did a live chat on ESPN.com Tuesday in which he said he shouldn't be in any way blamed for Bias's death. Tribble's comments included:
You always have to live with being accused of supplying (the) cocaine that killed him. Still to this day, that stigma is attached to me. ...

I felt like it was just (tragic) and I didn't have a lot of time to grieve, because I was going through an attack of not just the justice system, but the media. It was a terrible time to go through in my life. I couldn't imagine what his family was going through.
Several years after Bias died, Tribble was sentenced to 10 years in prison for dealing cocaine, but he now says he's a changed person who has put his drug-related mistakes behind him and gotten a second chance in life. How sad that Len Bias never got that second chance.

Brian Tribble, Friend of Len Bias, Works to Rehabilitate His Image originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Tue, 03 Nov 2009 17:45:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

 

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]]>Michael David SmithTue, 03 Nov 2009 17:45:00 EST Daily Show Debates Whether Philly or NY Fans Are 'Bigger Douches'http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/11/03/daily-show-debates-whether-philly-or-ny-fans-are-bigger-douches/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/11/03/daily-show-debates-whether-philly-or-ny-fans-are-bigger-douches/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/11/03/daily-show-debates-whether-philly-or-ny-fans-are-bigger-douches/#commentsFiled under: , , ,

Neither the Daily Show nor the Colbert Report delve into the sports realm all that often. However, the current Philadelphia-New York rivalry has apparently stoked enough passion in Jersey-born Jon Stewart (he's right in the middle, yo!) for him to send correspondents Jason Jones and John Oliver out on the street to measure the rivalry.

But, per usual, they're not just looking at the fans -- they're deciding which fans are more awful (or "bigger douches" as the clip actually says like 150 times; should you be afraid that such a phrase will not be popular on your office speakers, consider yourself forewarned). And they have real, live clips, which are hysterical, of course. "Clash of the Cretins" video, courtesy of the CC Insider, after the jump.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Clash of the Cretins
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show
Full Episodes		 Political Humor Health Care Crisis

Now, for my money, I think that New York wins this contest running away all day; that's only because I think they're bigger "bags" (if you will) than the Philly fans, who are just insane and obnoxious. And yes, there's a difference.

Daily Show Debates Whether Philly or NY Fans Are 'Bigger Douches' originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Tue, 03 Nov 2009 12:00:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

 

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]]>Will BrinsonTue, 03 Nov 2009 12:00:00 EST Curb Your Enthusiasm Features Derek Jeter Sabermetric Debatehttp://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/11/02/curb-your-enthusiasm-features-derek-jeter-sabermetric-debate/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/11/02/curb-your-enthusiasm-features-derek-jeter-sabermetric-debate/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/11/02/curb-your-enthusiasm-features-derek-jeter-sabermetric-debate/#commentsFiled under:



When Larry David was producing Seinfeld, he once had Derek Jeter (above, along with George Costanza and Bernie Williams) on the show. Apparently he liked Jeter a lot, because on Sunday night's Curb Your Enthusiasm, a sabermetric debate about Jeter's merits as a player was a central part of the plot -- with Larry insisting that Jeter's clutch hitting more than made up for any statistical failings as a fielder.

On the show, a conversation between Larry and a stonemason who was engraving his mother's tombstone somehow devolved into this argument:

Stonemason: "Derek Jeter is the most overrated player in baseball."

Larry: "What did you say?"

Stonemason: "I can't stand Derek Jeter. You know he's the worst defensive shortstop in baseball, statistically?"

Larry: "Bulls**t. He's a great clutch hitter, he's a great clutch player."

Stonemason: "There's no way he deserves the money he's making."

The sabermetrically inclined site fangraphs.com helpfully informs us that it's true Jeter is one of the worst fielding shortstops in baseball, but that Jeter is a good enough overall player that he's not, contrary to what the stonemason thinks, overpaid.

So it turns out that Larry and the stonemason were both right. But this is Larry David we're talking about, so it's fair to say they didn't just agree to disagree.

Curb Your Enthusiasm Features Derek Jeter Sabermetric Debate originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Mon, 02 Nov 2009 18:10:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

 

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]]>Michael David SmithMon, 02 Nov 2009 18:10:00 EST Bill Simmons Appears on Colbert Reporthttp://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/10/30/bill-simmons-appears-on-colbert-report/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/10/30/bill-simmons-appears-on-colbert-report/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/10/30/bill-simmons-appears-on-colbert-report/#commentsFiled under: , , ,

Bill Simmons is becoming like Brett Favre in the sense that ESPN is shoving him down our throats.

(Except in Simmons' case, it's for his new book, not for his annual coming-out-of-retirement announcement. Unlike Simmons, however, Favre doesn't block random bloggers from following his Twitter account. Moving on...)

And last night he landed on the Colbert Report to talk about his new 700-page basketball book with the world's favorite "fundit."

What resulted was a pretty fantastic interview, particularly when you consider that Simmons managed to stop Colbert in his Air-Bud-mentioning tracks with an "I've got two pages comparing Teen Wolf to Kobe Bryant" line. You could even tell that Colbert was asking if that was real as they cut away, and he somehow managed to let the interview run long, which almost never happens.

The Colbert Report Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Bill Simmons
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Religion


Now, I know that he's doing most of these public appearances simply for book publicity, but having seen Simmons on television roughly 8,432 times in the last week, I'm going to go ahead and refuse to stop stating that ESPN will -- after he gets some post-book-tour rest -- give him his own show on ESPN Boston.

Bill Simmons Appears on Colbert Report originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Fri, 30 Oct 2009 11:00:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

 

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]]>Bill SimmonsBillSimmonsBrett FavreBrettFavreWill BrinsonFri, 30 Oct 2009 11:00:00 EST Pick and Roll: the TV/Movie Basketball All-Star Teamhttp://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/10/30/tv-movie-basketball-team/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/10/30/tv-movie-basketball-team/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/10/30/tv-movie-basketball-team/#commentsFiled under:


What if you took every fictional basketball player from every TV show and movie you've ever seen and compiled a "Dream Team" of sorts? Well, you don't have to, because we've done it (and have already done it for baseball and football -- see the links below). You may disagree with some of the selections, but you can't disagree that this is one stacked team. We have 15 players and a stout coaching staff. Check it out and let us know what you think.

More TV/Movie Teams: Baseball | Football

The Rules

1. No real, famous people. Allow me to further clarify this rule, as there seemed to be some confusion on the TV/Movie Football Team column. When I say no real, famous people who were portrayed on a movie, I'm still allowing people who weren't famous before a movie was made about them. If someone was already famous and they were in a movie, or had a movie made about their life, they are out (Pistol: The Birth of a Legend). So, for example, Remember the Titans (about a high school team) was OK and Brian's Song (involved Gale Sayers) was not. If a movie made an individual or an entire team famous, they are eligible (Hoosiers). The 1954 Milan team wasn't nationally known and then the movie was made (they are the Hickory Huskers on the big screen).

One close call here: Glory Road. The Texas Western team went down in history and any real college basketball fan already knew about them before the movie was made. Casual fans may not have, though, so it was a tough omission.

2. Protagonist teams only. While there are always some good players on opposing teams, it's not near as fun to include "bad guys." So we're only including players who played for the "good guys."

3. Ridiculousness not allowed. If a dog or cartoon characters are playing basketball, we aren't interested. This is for actual basketball movies that at least try to have some semblance of realism (everything doesn't have to be realistic, because these are fictional movies, but there's a certain point when things go overboard). If two idiots kidnap Damon Wayans and somehow get away with it, we're definitely looking the other way as well. No Air Bud, no Space Jam, no Celtic Pride, etc.

4. Charisma matters. Sure, we want a great team, but strength of character matters, too. For every Jimmy Chitwood there needs to be a Sidney Deane to cancel out the boredom. And if it comes down to two guys who are pretty equal in on-court ability, we're going with the personality. This is entertainment, after all.

The Starting Lineup

C: Neon Bordeaux (Shaquille O'Neal, Blue Chips) - Pretty easy choice here, as Neon is basically portrayed as the real-life Shaq. Not only do we get the insane post-presence one of the best centers of all time provides, but he's also very charismatic (easily the best in the movie, putting Penny to shame).

PF: Everett (David Neidorf, Hoosiers) - The crop of power forwards in movies or on TV shows is particularly thin. Everyone is usually either a swingman, point guard, sharpshooter or center. Not surprisingly, the best basketball movie ever made delivered us the power forward goods in the form of the town drunk's son. Everett is a selfless player. He plays with pulled stitches. He'll go to battle -- literally -- if someone messes with his teammates. He'll set picks and do the dirty work on the boards. Obvious choice as a starter.

SF: Jimmy Chitwood (Maris Valainis, Hoosiers) - He's so good his team almost staged a mutiny when their coach decided to use him as a decoy for the last second game-winner. Of course, he simply said, "I'll make it." And he did, which wasn't really surprising considering he shot about 95 percent during the movie. This is our No. 1 option for a last-second shot. [Note: Yeah, I slid him to three when he's clearly a two, but he has to start and the logistics work better with Jimmy at small forward. Sue me.]



SG: Jesus Shuttlesworth (Ray Allen, He Got Game) - C'mon, it's freaking Ray Allen. He's our second late-game option.

PG: Sidney Deane (Wesley Snipes, White Men Can't Jump) - Honestly, I wanted to put both Sidney and Billy Hoyle (you'll see him below) in the starting lineup. I can't express how much I love this movie. I own it on DVD and have seen it so many times I could recite the timeless trash talk verbatim. The only way I could see anyone question this decision is if they don't think Sidney could be enough of a distributor to play the point on a team with talented scorers like Shuttlesworth, Chitwood and Bordeaux. The bottom line with Deane, though, is he just wants to win. You mostly see him playing two-on-two in the movie, but he still proved to be a great passer and always brought stellar defense. Plus, he's too good an athlete and trash-talker not to start, and this is the only feasible opening in the starting lineup.



The Backups

C: Saleh (Charles Gitonga Maina, The Air Up There) - He's like 7-foot-3, so his shot-blocking presence off the bench would be invaluable.

PF: Warren Coolidge (Byron Stewart, The White Shadow) - I've honestly never seen this show, but I'm taking Bill Simmons' word for it. Simmons once did an extensive comparison between this team and the Hickory Huskers (Hoosiers) and it was enough to sell me on this being the spot for Coolidge. It sounds like he has tons of talent and we just need to keep his head on straight. I've got enough leadership here -- in addition to Coach Carter (see below) -- to make it happen.

SF: Buddy (Brad Long, Hoosiers) - Here's a very important cog on the roster. There are plenty of scorers on this team. Buddy is a lockdown defender who couldn't care less if he touches the ball all game. He's locked up every game on the other team's main scoring threat (including "Boyle, No. 15," in the State finals). Really, the greatness of Hoosiers never stops. It has given us our two main role players.

SG: Billy Hoyle (Woody Harrelson, White Men Can't Jump) - As I said above, I love the "Ebony and Ivory" duo so much I wanted them both to start, but it's pretty difficult to justify Hoyle over Chitwood or Shuttlesworth. Regardless, he's our sixth man. He can shoot the lights out, make no-look passes and play under pressure. He has great hands on defense, which makes up for being a step slower than some. Oh yeah ... he can dunk, too. Seriously. He just needs Sidney to set him up with the alley-oop (see youtube above).

PG: Monix (Woody Harrelson, Semi-Pro) - His leadership skills will be a great asset with the second unit, and it's hilarious to picture him alongside another Woody Harrelson character.

The Third String

C: Chief Bromden (Will Sampson, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest) - Once Jack Nicholson's character taught Chief how to actually play basketball, he became an immovable object in the paint.

PF: Jackie Moon (Will Ferrell, Semi-Pro) - The shortage of quality power forwards has left us just looking for comic relief. Plus, he can handle any fights or arguments with the officials. And please, Jackie, keep the eyeliner to yourself.

SF: Scott "Wolf" Howard (Michael J. Fox, Teen Wolf) - One condition: he must be the wolf. None of this, "I'm gonna do it the right way" crap like he did in the final game. I want the beast. I know he's too small to play three, but we're moving him here because the wolf can play big.

SG: Clarance Coffee Black (Andre Benjamin, Semi-Pro) - Once Monix got into his head after taking over the team, Clarance was able to channel his talents and become an even better player. Plus, we know he'll remain loyal to the team no matter what, after his quick change in the Mega Bowl led to alley-oop mania.

PG: Kyle Lee Watson (Duane Martin, Above the Rim) - An Allen Iverson-type point-scorer, Watson can also distribute the basketball if needed. If he's on the floor with this third-string team, though, we'll definitely need his slashing to the hoop ability, as neither post player is a scorer.

Also considered: Butch McRae (Penny Hardaway, Blue Chips) killed himself in the charisma category. What a dull dude (especially compared to someone who can turn into a wolf). Similar situation with Ricky Roe (Matt Nover) as McRae's teammate. Tony (Anthony C. Hall) was also a good player from Blue Chips, but he shaved points, so we don't need him. Rade (Steve Hollar) and Merle (Kent Poole) were quality contributors on Hoosiers, but there's just not enough room. Jimmy Dolan (Kevin Bacon, The Air Up There) was a good player and coach, but he wasn't really great enough at either to find his way in. Odin James (Mekhi Phifer, O) misses out because that movie was just unwatchable. Monica Wright-McCall (Sanaa Lathan, Love and Basketball) was a great player and made it to the WNBA, but that doesn't mean she can run with the boys. Her hubby, Quincy McCall (Omar Epps) also got a look. Abner Goldstein (Ken Michelman) and Milton Reese (Nathan Cook) from The White Shadow barely missed the cut. I did, for about one second, consider Edward Norton's character from American History X (Derek Vinyard), but thought better of it. I'll pass on the Nazi (which he was when he played basketball on the movie -- still, how the hell could a 5-foot-6 white guy dunk?), despite the fact that it was a great movie.

The Staff



Head Coach: Norman Dale (Gene Hackman, Hoosiers) - Do I really even need to justify this? Check out his motivational techniques here and here. He fought through more adversity than any other coach on the tube and he knows how to prepare a team in the preseason.

Assistant Coach: Carter (Samuel L. Jackson, Coach Carter) - He'll help mold the team into a cohesive unit as men, getting each member of the squad to play together as one family. He'll fight through anything.

Assistant Coach: Pete Bell (Nick Nolte, Blue Chips) - Not that Coach Dale needs help handling the officials, but Bell will punt the ball into the crowd if need be. Plus, he's a stickler for fundamentals. He can handle the Xs and Os while Carter is the mental mentor.

Scout: Shooter (Dennis Hopper, Hoosiers) - We know how well he knows the game, but he's liable to fall off the wagon and get T'd up during a big game. Thus, he'll be best suited to scout the upcoming opponents and pass along the info to Dale, Carter and Bell.

Recruiter/General Manger/Owner: Happy (J.T. Walsh, Blue Chips) - He's willing to do whatever it takes to land the best talent, including spend his own coin. Hey, people may not like George Steinbrenner, but I think the championships speak for themselves. Gimme Happy.

Pick and Roll: the TV/Movie Basketball All-Star Team originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Fri, 30 Oct 2009 09:30:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

 

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]]>Matt SnyderFri, 30 Oct 2009 09:30:00 EST Muhammad and Larry: A Story of a Fight That Never Should Have Happenedhttp://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/10/21/muhammad-and-larry-a-story-of-a-fight-that-never-should-have-ha/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/10/21/muhammad-and-larry-a-story-of-a-fight-that-never-should-have-ha/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/10/21/muhammad-and-larry-a-story-of-a-fight-that-never-should-have-ha/#commentsFiled under: ,



Howard Cosell's angry voice punctuates the opening of Muhammad and Larry, the documentary that will premiere on ESPN Tuesday, and the rest of the film serves to explain Cosell's anger: The documentary focuses on the 1980 fight between Muhammad Ali and Larry Holmes, and it argues that Ali never should have been permitted to walk into the ring that night.

Holmes gave the 38-year-old Ali a savage beating, and as Cosell called the fight he became increasingly incredulous at what he was watching. That's the part that boxing fans already know.

What boxing fans haven't seen before is a wealth of behind-the-scenes footage from both Ali's and Holmes's camp, footage that director Albert Maysles shot in 1980 for a planned documentary that was never released. Now Maysles has interspersed that footage with new interviews, and the result is an extraordinary story about an extraordinary moment in boxing history.

The three-decade-old footage from the fighters' training camps makes it painfully clear that Holmes entered the fight in great shape, while Ali, who was coming off a long layoff after announcing his retirement two years earlier, was in terrible shape. At one point we see Ali say, "I'm too old, I'm too fat," and when he follows that with the promise, "I'm gonna shock the world," we wonder if Ali really believed that.

Before boxers can be licensed to fight in the United States they must be cleared by a state athletic commission, and one of the surprising revelations from Muhammad and Larry is that Ali had already been diagnosed with short-term memory loss even before fighting Holmes -- and yet the Nevada State Athletic Commission licensed him anyway. At one point during Ali's training camp, Maysles's cameras caught Ali appearing confused while hitting a speed bag -- something that should be the simplest of all tasks for an experienced boxer.

The film doesn't show Ali today; he and the people closest to him apparently declined to be interviewed. But we know, of course, that Ali has battled Parkinson's Disease since shortly after he retired from boxing. That knowledge makes it a little startling that Holmes (who will turn 60 next month) is shown in 2009 as a happy and healthy man who has suffered no ill effects from his boxing career -- even though he boxed longer than Ali did.

Muhammad and Larry is, above all, the story of a boxing tragedy: The story of a fight that shouldn't have happened and ended up doing great damage to a great man. If there's anyone who comes out of Muhammad and Larry looking good, it's Dr. Ferdie Pacheco, who resigned from his post as Ali's personal physician in 1977 because he had failed to convince Ali to retire. In a new interview, Pacheco details how he tried to convince Ali to stop fighting -- and how that was an impossible task.

In fact, Ali fought once more after losing to Holmes, dropping a unanimous decision to Trevor Berbick in 1981 before finally calling it a career. But it was the Holmes fight, more than any other, that signalled Ali's downfall. It's a sad story well told in Muhammad and Larry.

Muhammad and Larry: A Story of a Fight That Never Should Have Happened originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Wed, 21 Oct 2009 09:00:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

 

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]]>Michael David SmithWed, 21 Oct 2009 09:00:00 EST Mean Joe Greene Makes Glenn Beck Cryhttp://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/10/16/mean-joe-greene-makes-glenn-beck-cry/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/10/16/mean-joe-greene-makes-glenn-beck-cry/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/10/16/mean-joe-greene-makes-glenn-beck-cry/#commentsFiled under: ,



TV Guide once listed the ad in which Mean Joe Greene gave his jersey to a kid who gave him a Coke as one of the Top 10 commercials of all time. And now, more than 30 years after it first aired, that iconic commercial has reached a new level of notoriety: it has made Glenn Beck cry.

On Thursday, Beck showed the Mean Joe commercial -- and another 1970s commercial, for Kodak -- and teared up as he recounted how much better America was in those days. I'm not quite sure what Beck's point was -- I think it was something about teenagers staying out past curfew -- but in any event, that Mean Joe commercial sure does have staying power.

Joe Posnanski wrote a great post about the Mean Joe commercial last week, and you should read the whole thing, but I think this is the most important part:
What is it about this commercial that made ME happy the million times I saw it as a child? I don't know for sure ... but it seems to me that it has something to do with pop culture heroes. There's this real hunger for our sports heroes, our literary heroes, our Hollywood heroes to be great people.
We do have a real hunger for our sports heroes to be great people, and I think we especially hunger for tough guys like Mean Joe to be gentle giants off the field. The commercial is just a contrivance to get us to buy Coke, and yet it's also kind of sweet and touching. I don't quite grasp why it makes Glenn Beck cry, but I do understand why the Mean Joe commercial has touched so many people for so long.

Mean Joe Greene Makes Glenn Beck Cry originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Fri, 16 Oct 2009 18:00:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

 

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]]>Michael David SmithFri, 16 Oct 2009 18:00:00 EST FOX Says Sorry to Jessica Simpsonhttp://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/10/15/fox-says-sorry-to-jessica-simpson/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/10/15/fox-says-sorry-to-jessica-simpson/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/10/15/fox-says-sorry-to-jessica-simpson/#commentsFiled under:



On Sunday, FOX ran a cartoon on its NFL pregame show making fun of Jessica Simpson for being fat and Tony Romo for dating a fat chick. Hilarity did not ensue. And after reflection, on Wednesday FOX apologized.

FOX issued a statement saying it shouldn't have run the cartoon, and making clear that no one should blame Burger King for any involvement in the cartoon. FOX's statement, via the Dallas Morning News:
"Burger King did not have any editorial input in the creation of the animation that ran last Sunday, and no one from Burger King Corp., approved it before it aired. Upon reflection, our poor attempt at humor was insensitive, and we deeply apologize to anyone who might have been offended."
The whole skit was incredibly stupid, and I agree with Mike Florio of Pro Football Talk that FOX should really be apologizing for the fact that it wasn't funny.

FOX Says Sorry to Jessica Simpson originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Thu, 15 Oct 2009 09:00:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

 

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]]>Jessica SimpsonJessicaSimpsonTony RomoTonyRomoMichael David SmithThu, 15 Oct 2009 09:00:00 EST Andy Rooney Can Sleep Anywhere, Even at the Super Bowlhttp://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/10/12/andy-rooney-can-sleep-anywhere-even-at-the-super-bowl/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/10/12/andy-rooney-can-sleep-anywhere-even-at-the-super-bowl/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/10/12/andy-rooney-can-sleep-anywhere-even-at-the-super-bowl/#commentsFiled under:



Andy Rooney noted on 60 Minutes Sunday night that he's the kind of person who falls asleep anywhere, from his desk to a city bus to a movie theater. He said he tries not to fall asleep during football games, but perhaps he should have mentioned his ability to sleep inside the stadium on Super Bowl Sunday.

After this year's Super Bowl, Deadspin reported that Rooney had fallen asleep in his seat at Raymond James Stadium:
After he finished his lunch, Rooney leaned back, closed his eyes, and fell asleep. SanFilipo said Rooney's "mouth was open" and there was a "slight snore." At that point, most of the other spectators recognized who he was. They all brought out their camera phones and began snapping pictures of a sleeping Andy Rooney. Some even ran right up next to him and flashed a thumbs-up signal for their photos.
It just so happens that I was sitting only a few feet from Rooney at the Super Bowl, and I didn't see him sleep at all, but the above commentary would seem to lend credence to the report. Anyway, although Deadspin's story of the 90-year-old curmudgeon snoozing in the stadium was amusing, I must say that I had a 20-minute conversation with Rooney at the Super Bowl and I found him to be clear-headed and pleasant to talk to. If he wants to take a nap on Super Bowl Sunday, more power to him. If naps have helped keep Rooney's mind sharp into the 10th decade of his life, maybe we should all learn a lesson from that.

Andy Rooney Can Sleep Anywhere, Even at the Super Bowl originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Mon, 12 Oct 2009 16:00:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

 

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]]>Michael David SmithMon, 12 Oct 2009 16:00:00 EST David Letterman Continues Bizarre Fake Interviews With Mike Singletaryhttp://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/10/09/david-letterman-continues-bizarre-fake-interviews-with-mike-sing/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/10/09/david-letterman-continues-bizarre-fake-interviews-with-mike-sing/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/10/09/david-letterman-continues-bizarre-fake-interviews-with-mike-sing/#commentsFiled under:



Last season David Letterman started doing a strange series of fake interviews with Mike Singletary, like the clip you see above. The interviews weren't actually with Mike Singletary, they were with an actor (badly) portraying Mike Singletary, and they always showed Singletary as a buffoon who doesn't understand what Letterman is asking him.

At the time the strange series of interviews started, Singletary had just taken over a terrible 49ers team in the middle of the season, and so it made a little bit of sense that he'd be portrayed as harried, disheveled and not sure what was going on. But if you thought the fact that Singletary has now established himself as a pretty good coach would make those fake interviews stop, well, you were wrong.

On Thursday night's Late Show With David Letterman we got another of those strange interviews, with Singletary babbling about playing the Falcons and having to stop Michael Vick. As always, Thursday's Late Show showed Singletary as incompetent and oblivious.

But my only question is, will Letterman eventually have to drop these skits when the reality that Singletary is one of the best coaches in the NFL sink in? The 49ers were absolutely horrendous under former coach Mike Nolan, but Singletary made them competitive immediately, and now they're 3-1 and in first place in the NFC West. Can Letterman still do these interviews in January if the 49ers are in the playoffs?

Actually, I think he can. The bottom line is that these interviews are both strange and funny, and if something is both strange and funny, you can bet Letterman will milk it for all it's worth.

David Letterman Continues Bizarre Fake Interviews With Mike Singletary originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Fri, 09 Oct 2009 11:30:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

 

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]]>Michael David SmithFri, 09 Oct 2009 11:30:00 EST David Letterman in 1978: A Critique of Local Sportscastershttp://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/10/05/david-letterman-in-1978-a-critique-of-local-sportscasters/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/10/05/david-letterman-in-1978-a-critique-of-local-sportscasters/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/10/05/david-letterman-in-1978-a-critique-of-local-sportscasters/#commentsFiled under:

Anyone who has watched local news has heard some rather awkward transitions from the sportscaster to the news anchor, but this little bit from David Letterman in 1978, talking about a local news job he had a few years earlier, perfectly captures just how awkward those transitions can be:



"Where I worked, in Indianapolis, Indiana, one day there were three murders in the city and the news director didn't think it would be real amusing to have the anchorman report all three murders back to back," Letterman explains. "So they gave one to the sportscaster to do. The guy is reading baseball scores, and it's ... 'The Dodgers murdered the Giants 9-0. Speaking of murders, looks like 45-year-old Eddie Posner won't be going out to the old ballpark anymore."

One of the things that struck me as I thought about Letterman over the last few days is how enduring his brand of comedy is. He was funny making a joke about local sportscasters three decades ago, and he's still funny making similar jokes today. How many entertainers are this good for this long?

David Letterman in 1978: A Critique of Local Sportscasters originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Mon, 05 Oct 2009 15:00:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

 

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]]>Michael David SmithMon, 05 Oct 2009 15:00:00 EST Cedric the Entertainer on Doing Vegas with MJ, Tiger and Chuckhttp://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/10/05/cedric-the-entertainer-on-doing-vegas-with-mj-tiger-and-chuck/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/10/05/cedric-the-entertainer-on-doing-vegas-with-mj-tiger-and-chuck/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/10/05/cedric-the-entertainer-on-doing-vegas-with-mj-tiger-and-chuck/#commentsFiled under: , , , ,

Elie Seckbach, the Embedded Correspondent, brings his exclusive video reporting to FanHouse. Check back regularly for more videos.

Actor and comedian Cedric the Entertainer is a huge sports fan who tells us that he use to be a boxer and these days he enjoys golf. In this FanHouse exclusive we talk to Cedric at the Sherwood Country Club in Thousand Oaks, California (not to be confused with the Sherwood Forest -- home of Robin Hood). Cedric who hangs out with lots of top athletes tells us about the time he was doing Vegas with Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods and Charles Barkley.

Check out the video after the jump.

Cedric the Entertainer on Doing Vegas with MJ, Tiger and Chuck originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Mon, 05 Oct 2009 11:00:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

 

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]]>Cedric the EntertainerCedricTheEntertainercharles barkleyCharlesBarkleyCharlie VillanuevaCharlieVillanuevaMichael JordanMichaelJordantiger woodsTigerWoodsElie SeckbachMon, 05 Oct 2009 11:00:00 EST George Michael Supports Dan Snyder, Vinny Cerratohttp://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/10/01/george-michael-supports-dan-snyder-vinny-cerrato/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/10/01/george-michael-supports-dan-snyder-vinny-cerrato/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/10/01/george-michael-supports-dan-snyder-vinny-cerrato/#commentsFiled under: , ,



George Michael is a longtime D.C.-area resident, former host of The Sports Machine, and he also happens to be BFFs with Dan Snyder. And Thursday, he appeared on Mike Wise's radio show to defend the embattled Redskins owner. Because no one would expect Snyder to show his face in public after being humiliated in Detroit Sunday. (What must Tom Cruise think?)

Whatever, Michael makes an impassioned plea on his pal's behalf, pointing out that Snyder isn't intentionally a jerk, he's just misunderstood. (Thanks to DC Sports Blog for transcribing):

"You all want to dump it on Dan Snyder," Michael said. "I understand that. I understand that. I don't think Dan does. I don't think he understands why people hate him so. The truth is--and I've got to give you full disclosure, everybody knows that I am friends with Dan Snyder, not in the sense that I'm in the tank for him, but he is a friend, I admit that. But Dan doesn't even understand what he does wrong. He doesn't even understand the things he does wrong. If the fans knew how bad he wants to win, they would go my God, he wants to win as much as I do."

Michael admits that "It's Dan's fault...and that's a shame," and also concedes that most of the big-name personnel decisions are on Snyder as well. Not really surprising, but Michael makes it sound like Executive Vice President-Football Operations Vinny Cerrato is something other than incompetent, which could qualify as breaking news.

"[Snyder] says 'Let's get this guy, let's get that guy.' And the guy that takes the heat for it--and it's why I think he's never gotten fired--is Vinny Cerrato. Now, Cerrato's painted as a bozo, but the truth is, what did Vinny Cerrato do for the team? Look at Chris Horton. That's the kind of guy he gets."

(In related news: the Redskins have benched Horton for Reed Doughty.)

Michael goes on to say that Cerrato "is a ZERO when it comes to public relations and building relationships with people in the world." To be fair, all the Hollywood types are like that.

George Michael Supports Dan Snyder, Vinny Cerrato originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Thu, 01 Oct 2009 15:30:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

 

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]]>Dan SnyderDanSnyderVinny CerratoVinnyCerratoRyan WilsonThu, 01 Oct 2009 15:30:00 EST The Miller High Life Guy Is Apparently a Bengals Fanhttp://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/10/01/the-miller-high-life-guy-is-apparently-a-bengals-fan/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/10/01/the-miller-high-life-guy-is-apparently-a-bengals-fan/http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/10/01/the-miller-high-life-guy-is-apparently-a-bengals-fan/#commentsFiled under: , ,


Via everyone's favorite Pittsburgh Steelers blog, PSAMP (and mini-ponies, y'all!), comes video from Sunday's Steelers loss to the Bengals. But it's not your ordinary video. No, sir. It's actually video that explains exactly how the Steelers lost. Well, kind of. Basically, when the Miller High Life guy (the larger gentleman who steals High Life back from undeserving peoples, he also goes by Windell Middlebrooks) is in your corner ... you ALWAYS win.

Video evidence after the jump.

The Miller High Life Guy Is Apparently a Bengals Fan originally appeared on Back Porch FanHouse on Thu, 01 Oct 2009 12:30:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

 

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]]>Will BrinsonThu, 01 Oct 2009 12:30:00 EST