Back Porch Wrestling

Ric Flair is an icon among wrestling fans, not only worldwide but in North Carolina as well. He's always appearing on the Carolina Panthers jumbotron, screaming something or another about not drinking and driving (WOO!) and he's been known to show up at college football games and tailgates across the state.

And now he's been honored with his own commemorative scratch-off lottery tickets, designed specifically to help the children of North Carolina become more smarter. Or something.

The NCAA wrestling championships took place Saturday in St. Louis, and in the biggest match of the event, North Carolina State's Darrion Caldwell upset Iowa's Brent Metcalf. And then things got really interesting.

Anthony Robles, the one-legged Arizona State student who fulfilled a dream by becoming an All-American wrestler, lost Friday night in the semifinals of the NCAA wrestling tournament.

Robles, the No. 12 seed, was defeated by unbeaten top seed Paul Donahoe of Edinboro by a score of 5-2. Robles' record is now 28-7, while Donahoe moves to 35-0.

A Long Island high school is currently battling an outbreak of a weird virus. Apparently, all the skin-on-skin rubbing which occurs during amateur wrestling contests carries with it the chance that herpes gladiatorum is spread from person to person. As if anything with the word herpes in it doesn't have a negative enough connotation, the common name for this malady is "mat herpes."

Unfortunately, there's been an outbreak at Wantagh High School. More bad news: Wantagh recently competed in a tournament where several other schools were unknowingly put at risk to this virus.

In the early 1990s, the WWF (now WWE) made a concerted effort to combat a public perception that its stars were using steroids, with wrestlers like Hulk Hogan appearing in videos like this to praise the organization's drug testing policies:



But by the mid-90s, the professional wrestling landscape had changed significantly, with Ted Turner offering huge sums of money to lure wrestlers to his promotion, the WCW.

Tab Thacker, best known as playing 'Finch' in Goldie Hawn's 1986 football flick "Wildcats", died Thursday night after a long bout with diabetes.

Thacker's story is more interesting than his role as Finch (I'll get to that later) or in the Police Academy movies. He was a champion wrestler at NC State in the early 1980s. So much so that he was worthy of making the 1984 Olympic Games in Los Angeles. He beat the Russian champion in his international debut. However, his 447-lb frame topped Olympic weight limits and he was denied competing.

"He actually talked about that a couple weeks ago," said Sharon Thacker, his wife of seven years. "He just said he missed his opportunity at the Olympics because they didn't want nobody his size."

After acting, he returned to Raleigh and opened a remodling business and a bail bonds joint.

To many, however, he is Finch. Finch was the intellectual, gambling big man at rough Central High. He was forced to the team when one of his bets injured a Wildcats player. Finch blocked a kick which was returned by Mykelti Williamson for a TD and the city championship. At the 1:36 mark above, you see his part of the Wildcats' rap.

Thacker was 45.

Das FanHaus is not entirely sure how many rules we are breaking with this lunchtime diversion, but we are certain that the following will offend at least one reader. It may be considered brutish to some, but there is still some nobility in the concept of a wee wrestler soaring through a folding table to best his opponent. While we support the breadth and depth of the little people arts, we know that nothing steals the thunder more than competitive acts of violence.

If you have the means, we suggest viewing the following clip with sound. We find it adds to the overall atmosphere. "WHOO!"

Das FanHaus knows that every professional wrestler worth his salt needs to have a good angle, a gimmick, or some kind of sweet powerbomb variation to make it in the world of sports entertainment today. The Human Tornado's angle is that he will melt your face off with his dance moves. Such agility is wasted on simple headlocks, turnbuckle smashes, and clotheslines, and it always puts a smile on our face to see some wrestlers still know how to put on a show.

Combat Zone Wrestling (CZW) may not be the largest stage for the Human Tornado, but it will have to do for now. Besides, if its not bootleg or grainy or both, it doesn't really count as a wrestling youtube, does it?

Don't let anyone tell you that Ric Flair's career is over. Not only is the aging legend still thrilling crowds from coast to coast reminding everyone that in order to be the man, you've got to beat the man, but he is also fronting a lucrative home and auto financing business. The site, simply known as RicFlairFinance.com, must be seen (and heard) to be believed. Be sure to follow his patented Figure Four Loan Process to pick the right rate for you, and you too can be a limosine ridin', jet flying, kiss stealin', whealin' and dealing son of a gun ... Just like the Nature Boy! WOOOO!

According to the "About Ric Flair" portion of the site, it is implied that he will use his tremendous network of wrestling contacts to get you the best deal out there. Das FanHaus cannot confirm this statement or even if that is the correct implication, but we do know that we love Space Mountain. It may be the oldest ride in the park, but it always has the longest line. WOOOOOO!

The Gorgeous Ladies Of Wrestling, a.k.a. G.L.O.W., hit the stage in 1986 to thunderous...silence, mostly. There seemed to be a rule that in order to stage any event in the mid to late 1980s, it had to have its own rap theme song done not by professionals, but instead by the complete and rank amateur stars of the show itself. Sadly, G.L.O.W. was no exception.

We're gonna have fun and do our ooooooowwwn thing! The funniest thing about G.L.O.W. may be that it was likely funded with a hefty helping financial hand from Sylvester Stallone, as Jackie Stallone (Sly's mom) was figurehead owner of one of the wrestling "teams," and attempted to use the show as a platform for promoting her women's gym, Barbarella's.

Judging from this clip, training at Barbarella's involved a lot of hairspray and not much else.