It seemed like the relationship between Bill Simmons and ESPN had moved away from the whole "sleeping on the couch" thing in recent weeks, and I personally felt like he was firing out some pretty good content recently. But then I wondered, "Hey, where the hell is that loser's picks column this week? Even I managed to limp mine in on Sunday."

Perhaps he had a family emergency. Or perhaps Time Warner egged again. Or, perhaps not -- turns out, according to his personal blog, that ESPN decided not to publish the column. (All of this after a summer of "vacation" too.)

Quick update: I received a slew of e-mails yesterday wondering what happened to my Friday NFL column and blaming me for being lazy and all the usual crap. Please know that I handed in that column as scheduled - on Thursday night, on time, like I always do -- and on Friday afternoon, ESPN.com decided not to run the column. These are the facts.

He also proceeds to say that "We are on the record ... *END*" which is either some bizarre Jim Morrison-esque way of saying "FUESPN!1" or I'm simply reading it wrong.

A new study is out that proves if you play or even just watch sports, it will make you a little smarter of a person. Finally Bill Simmons and I can apply for that Mensa membership.

The study was conducted by Sian Beilock, Associate Professor in Psychology at the University of Chicago, and explains that involving oneself in sports will build a stronger understanding of language. Tubular!

The research was conducted on hockey players, fans, and people who'd never seen or played the game. It shows, for the first time, that a region of the brain usually associated with planning and controlling actions is activated when players and fans listen to conversations about their sport. The brain boost helps athletes and fans understanding of information about their sport, even though at the time when people are listening to this sport language they have no intention to act.

So, are you telling me instead of making my newborn listen to that boooring classical music I've heard so much about I can just blare some Arizona Cardinal highlights? I'm in.

The study was conducted with 12 professional and intercollegiate hockey players, eight hockey fans and nine individuals who had never watched a game. I'm going out on a limb here and saying that final group was probably the easiest to fill. The group listened to both sentences about hockey plays and everyday activities that had nothing to do with hockey, and this is what came from it.

I suppose he finally impaled himself with his laptop (or perhaps you prefer, "swallowed his own tongue"?) in joy over too much winning in Beantown, but it appears as if everyone's favorite Sports Guy, Bill Simmons, is taking the summer off. From his refurbished home page (and not matrix-like chronological blog).

Quick announcement from Bill: ESPN was gracious enough to give me 10 weeks off to finish my second book. My column will return right before Week 1 of the NFL season, just in time for another year of crappy football picks! If you're a fan of the "B.S. Report," we're still doing weekly podcasts, but that's it. Enjoy the summer.

I have yet to compile all my columns for write a book, much less prepare to write two of them, so I certainly don't want to chastise him for not doing what he, I assume, gets paid to do. And perhaps this little sabbatical was part of the deal that got him back in bed with the WWL to begin with.

Or maybe it was his little foray into the dangerous, albeit exciting, world of the blogosphere that got him all reminiscent about returning to his roots. But that seems a little too optimistic.

Whatever it was, we won't be reading Simmons until the NFL season starts up, which is a shame, because going that long without a mention of J-Bug is like Joey trying to make it through a foursome-filled night without knocking back a wine cooler or forty. (Plus, we're fine. We've got Reilly!)

Via Daulerio at Deadspin

Hey, it's a sports blog writing about a sports blog and the world's first sports blogger! This is somewhere between navel-gazing and blogsturbation; we'll stick with the navel one for the picture's sake.

Regular readers of the super-famous sports blog Deadspin are probably aware of two things about it: 1) it's editor Will Leitch's last week, and 2) ESPN loathes Deadspin. Loathe hate anger rage.

Regarding the first point (we'll get to point two in a second), in the tradition of fine sendoffs, the peripheral characters of Deadspin are conducting a multi-segmented roast of Mr. Leitch, starting today. There's Big Daddy Drew, the Awful Announcing guy, Will's girlfriend, and hey, there's Bill Simmons too.

Wait wait wait wait. ESPN's Bill Simmons? That guy, the Sports Guy? ESPN.com's most decorated columnist is writing for ESPN's most hated nemesis?! (link is sort of NSFW: language and a crude fellatic photoshop that looks more like monochromatic vomit)

You directed 500 of your minions over to ESPN.com's brand-new Conversation boards so they could make jokes about Harold Reynolds banging my wife. (Note: I didn't think this was funny at the time ... now, I have to admit, it was kind of funny.) You were described by Buzz Bissinger as "Jimmy Olsen on Percocets," an analogy that gets more amusing every day. You even turned Chris Berman into the Casanova of the 21st century.

Sure enough. Erstwhile Page2 colleague Dan Shanoff appears in the comments of the article to make a statement about ESPN that, due to its scatological nature, we can't possibly repeat here or in front of our parents. The entire piece is supremely entertaining, especially as Simmons pores over pictures of Leitch from Google Images, and a strange salvo to be fired in the war between MSM and Blogfrica.

ESPN.com columnist Bill Simmons is continuing to sound sullen notes about his bosses. The latest comes from his personal blog, where he's begun posting old columns from before he worked for ESPN.

In introducing a column that he wrote on March 2, 1999, Simmons says of his writing style at the time, "I was starting to find a groove and my column was starting to resemble what it's like now, only if nobody was killing five of the best jokes or making me re-write them so they weren't as funny."

That's the kind of thing that writers usually say about their editors right around the time that they leave to start writing elsewhere. And Simmons is already cutting down on the frequency of his writing at ESPN.com, having written just four columns in May. So is Simmons on the way out?

I seriously doubt it. As A.J. Daulerio notes at Deadspin, ESPN.com's Page 2 would need a huge change of direction to recover from Simmons' departure, and because of that, ESPN.com's editors will capitulate enough not to lose him. In the mean time, though, I'm enjoying Simmons' blog, and I hope he keeps posting regularly.

When asked why he is writing less frequently, ESPN.com columnist Bill Simmons gave a surprisingly blunt statement to Deadspin about his relationship with his employer:

Yes, I still work for ESPN. No, I'm not writing for ESPN.com as much - my choice, not theirs. That's just the way it will be from now on, unfortunately. I'd have more to say, but I'd end up being profane and I don't want to offend Buzz Bissinger. ...

I still love writing my column and only re-signed last year because I really did believe that we had hashed out all the behind the scenes bullsh-- and come to some sort of agreement on creative lines, media criticism rules, the promotion of the column and everything else on ESPN.com. Within a few months, all of those things changed and certain promises were not kept. It's as simple as that.

Neil Best of Newsday got the official response from ESPN:

"Bill is an exceptional talent with a unique voice that we're proud to bring to fans. In any creative environment that features talented people, there will inevitably be differences. As we have in the past, we'll continue to work through them."

So even though they think he's an "exceptional talent," ESPN has made Simmons mad, and as a result he has chosen to write for them less frequently. But Simmons fans now have another option: His blog.

1) ESPN columnist Bill Simmons does not like Dane Cook. He is not exactly alone in this; slowly, like a zombie waddling awkwardly in friendship, the tides of popularity are turning against Dane Cook. Realizations that he stole jokes from Louis C.K., not to mention America's collective gasp of "Wait, we thought this guy was funny? What were we thinking!?" -- that will end a career of popularity mediocrity faster than you can make loud noises instead of a punch line. Yes, Cook's time is nigh, and in recent columns Simmons has been merely piling on.

Ah, but Cook will not go quietly into the night: in an ESPN chat yesterday, he fired back at el Jefe Simmons. I smell a rap battle! (HT: Shoot Your Hopes and Dreams)

2) As a Bears fan, it pains me to link this, even though I know it's early in the season: Yes, the Lions are 2-0. (For the record, Michigan is 1-2. Side by side, something is really wrong with that picture.) How Motor City fans will handle this is yet to be seen, though I wouldn't rule out spontaneous cranial combustion.

3) All on the Field interviews Ball Four author Jim Bouton. He wrote a book. Do those have pixels yet? Because if they don't, I ain't interested.

4) If you haven't seen this video of Jimmy Clausen's Heismann bid flying past his head like so many errant shotgun snaps, go. You'll thank yourself.

5) Now Brian Billick is whining. Does anyone in the league not do things like this? Are we serious here?