Back Porch Sumo

The guy in the above photo is Japanese rikishi Toyozakura, posing with cast members of the Treasure Island show during the Japan Sumo Association's official USA Grand Sumo Tournament in Las Vegas. He looks happy enough there, but he apparently has an angry streak.

Toyozakura has been docked 30 percent of his pay as punishment for attacking an18-year-old junior grappler with a cooking instrument. The attack, in which Toyozakura hit the young man with a ladle, left the victim needing eight stitches. The 34-year-old Toyozakura explained why he attacked the apprentice sumo:

"I asked him to do something, which I don't remember exactly, but he couldn't do it," Toyozakura said, according to Agence France-Presse.

The 30 percent pay cut will be in effect for three months, and it is identical to a punishment that another sumo wrestler was given for beating another junior wrestler with a bamboo sword. The violent incidents have been the latest in a long series of embarrassing incidents for the sport of sumo, which has been plagued by scandal recently and has declined in popularity in Japan.

The Summer Grand Sumo Tournament is currently underway in Japan, and as this video makes clear, the ancient sport is going through troubled times:

Between the fixing of matches and hazing incidents, including one that left a young rikishi dead, sumo may garner less respect in Japan now than it ever has before. Baseball and soccer are both more popular than sumo, and mixed martial arts appears to hold greater allure for younger fans.

The sport knows it needs to shape up and eliminate match fixing and the bullying of young rikishi. But while those changes are important, the sport itself is so simple and elegant that it would be a shame if the competitions themselves changed. There may be no sport in the world that has remained consistent for as long as sumo.

Big men don't cry--unless they're sumo wrestlers who've just suffered through a major scandal and are "on the verge of a nervous breakdown," as <i>yokozuna</> Asashoryu is. Then, yeah, you can cry, because you weigh over 300 pounds and have a very quick first step on the attack.

The scandal began with this video...

...which shows a shockingly nimble Asashoryu, winner of the 21st Emperor's Cup, playing soccer in a charity game in his native Mongolia. (Note that at that weight, he's just a few cheeseburgers north of Ronaldo's physique, actually.) Asashoryu was dribbling around in Mongolia while he was allegedly too injured to appear in a summer exhibition tournament, a big no-no for most wrestlers and a definite faux pas for the high-profile <i>yokozuna.</I>

With the appearance of the video, the Japanese Sumo Association suspended Asashoryu for two tournaments and docked his pay 30 percent for four months. Both are unprecedented punishments. The Mongolian has responded by locking himself in his apartment and hovering close to a nervous breakdown.

Psychiatrist Masaki Honda examined him and said the wrestler was depressed and could be on the brink of a nervous breakdown due to a shock from the punishment. He said the wrestler was barely able to talk, and his trainer said Asashoryu was "holding back tears."

In a summer of athletes being indicted for dogfighting, allegedly giving Jessica Alba herpes, and up and killing their whole families...this seems appropriate. More than anything else, though, all the big man probably needs is a hug, along with three hundred pounds of popcorn chicken and the latest edition of Microsoft Outlook to keep his dates straight.